Silence Is a Scary Sound
Chapter 7
Lucas woke up when they arrived at home, and immediately complained that he hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Bergeron. No Mister or Patrice, just Bergeron. Once Again, Emily saw so much of Patrice in him that it made her smile. To calm him down, she told him that he’d see Patrice again soon.
“Really?” His whole face lit up.
“Yes. But for now, we need to give you a bath, I’ll make you dinner and then I’ll tell you a little something before I tuck you in bed.”
“But I don’t wanna take a bath.” Lucas scrunched up his face. He always did this if he didn’t like something.
“What do I always tell you?”
“If you want to be a hockey player, you have to take baths after pwactice.”
“Exactly. Now, go on upstairs and I’ll be there in a minute.”
Lucas hobbled up the stairs, already taking off his shirt at the top of the stairs. Yes, so much like Patrice. Back then he also took off his shirt while still walking. For a moment she thought about how she’d start the conversation with Lucas, but when he called for her, she started walking upstairs. She’d figure it out somehow.
During his bath, Lucas kept talking about the day and practice with Patrice. It was hard to shut him up long enough to wash his head, but Emily somehow manages. She got him out of the bath and put his clothes on the floor for him. She told him to dry off, get dressed and then come down. She’d take care of dinner and he could watch a little bit of TV while she was busy.
When she finally heard the TV go on in the living room, she had to smile to herself. Hockey. What else would he watch? She didn’t know which teams were playing, but she was sure, Lucas would tell her over dinner. And he did. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut long enough to enjoy his pasta, so Emily had to tell him to eat his pasta, or she wouldn’t tell him what she’d wanted to tell him before bed, no, he’d have to wait till the next day to find out.
When he remembered that his mother had told him that she’d tell him something, he shut up and wolfed down his pasta. It must have been something really interesting or she wouldn’t have told him in advance that she wanted to tell him something.
“Okay, you can watch the game while I clean up the kitchen, but then it’s off to bed, okay?”
Lucas nodded, got down from his chair and practically ran to the living room. That put a smile on Emily’s face. Hockey was in his blood, and she hadn’t been the one to introduce him to the sport.
Lucas was still wide awake when Emily picked him up and carried him upstairs. She let him down in the bathroom so that he could brush his teeth. She didn’t have to supervise him anymore, so she already settled down on his bed and waited for him. He stormed inside, climbed on top of his bed, and pulled the covers up under his chin.
“You know, Luke, what I have to tell you is kind of important, okay?” Lucas simply nodded, staring at his mother with big eyes. He loved when she told him stories, no matter if they were real ones, or storied she’d invented. She was his favorite story-teller. “You’ve asked me about your father a couple of times, and you remember why you don’t know him, right?”
He nodded. At some point Emily had told him that he’d meet him some day, but that right now he didn’t know about Lucas, because he had some things to do in his life, before Emily could tell him about Lucas. Lucas didn’t understand it completely, she knew that, but at least he had a vague idea why he didn’t know his father.
Emily stroked his hair and looked down at his face. He was her everything. After her mother’s death, Lucas was the only family she had left. She should have contacted Patrice right then, but she’d wanted Lucas to herself in her time of grief. Now, she was ready to share him, she had to be.
“Your Dad now knows about you and you have already met him.”
“What? When?”
“Today. We were ice skating with him.”
His little brain was working, and when he realized whom she was talking about, a look of utter shock crossed his face. There was only one man he’d met that day. Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins.
“I know, this is a bit much to take in right now, sweetheart, but let me try to explain.” She ran her fingers through his hair again and again, calming him, but mostly calming her own racing heart. “We met when we were both on vacation. We promised to stay in touch and then I found out that I would have you. I was so happy, you wouldn’t believe it.” Well, obviously not at first, but once the thought of having a child had settled in, she’d been thrilled. “But I didn’t tell Patrice because I wanted him to become a successful hockey player. It had been his dream, and I didn’t want him to lose focus. I know, you wanted a Dad and needed one, but I hope you can forgive me for keeping you to myself for so long.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. She wasn’t sure if he had really understood everything she’d told him, but at least the most important point for him had finally settled in.
“Patrice Bergeron is my Dad?”
“Yes, and he wants to get to know you better, spend time with you and be a part of your life. Only if you want that, too, of course.”
“Yes!” he sat upright in his bed, startling Emily, but she had to laugh about his enthusiasm. Pretty much what she’d hoped for, and kind of expected.
“Okay, I know this is exciting for you-“
“I have a Dad!” He grinned at his Mom and hugged her.
“Yes, you do, sweetie.” She pushed back his hair, kissed the top of his head and sighed happily. “But now you need to try and get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow. And no word to anybody tomorrow, okay? Except for Johnny. You can tell Johnny, but it has to be a secret between you two, okay?” Lucas nodded. “Pinkie promise?”
“Yes!”
Emily pulled up the covers, and wished him a goodnight before she turned off the light and headed downstairs. With a sigh of relief, she grabbed her mobile phone and called Patrice. After all, she’d promised him to let him know how it went.
“Hello?”
Her heart leapt at the sound of his voice and it was such an unwelcome feeling that she didn’t know what to say for a moment.
“Emily, is that you?”
“Um… yes, sorry. I got a little distracted.” No spacing out on the phone, Emily. “I said I’d let you know how my talk with Lucas went.”
“And?” she heard papers rustling in the background, and wanted to know what he was up to. It wasn’t her business, though. She’d been the one to exclude him from her life, to break off all contact.
“He’s really excited. He finally has a father and then it’s you. One of the people he looks up to so much. I told him that he can only tell Johnny, though, and keep it a secret between them. I don’t know how you want to handle this, so I thought that might be best.”
Patrice hadn’t really thought about this himself. He’d have to talk to his coach first, maybe the PR people. It wasn’t like he wanted to make it public, it wasn’t his duty to let the world know that he had a son, but he probably would have to in order to protect them. If he came out with the story, people would understand. If he didn’t, they might assume that Emily only wants his money and it wasn’t even his child. That wasn’t something he wanted to put his child through.
“I’ll think about it, talk to some people.”
“Okay. We have to figure out when you want to spend time with Lucas.”
“When are you home from work tomorrow?”
The question startled Emily, but she answered him anyway: “I’ll be home around four. Lucas will go home with Johnny and I have to buy some groceries before I can head home. Why?”
“Is it okay if I drop by then? I have morning practice and a game in the evening. I could give you a copy of my schedule for the next months and then we can work out when we can do something together, or maybe when I can take Lucas somewhere if that’s okay with you.”
“It sounds like a really good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Yes,” Patrice hesitated a moment before he added: “Goodnight.”
Emily stared at the phone after that conversation. It was odd to have him back in her life, but good for Lucas. Confusing for her.
“Really?” His whole face lit up.
“Yes. But for now, we need to give you a bath, I’ll make you dinner and then I’ll tell you a little something before I tuck you in bed.”
“But I don’t wanna take a bath.” Lucas scrunched up his face. He always did this if he didn’t like something.
“What do I always tell you?”
“If you want to be a hockey player, you have to take baths after pwactice.”
“Exactly. Now, go on upstairs and I’ll be there in a minute.”
Lucas hobbled up the stairs, already taking off his shirt at the top of the stairs. Yes, so much like Patrice. Back then he also took off his shirt while still walking. For a moment she thought about how she’d start the conversation with Lucas, but when he called for her, she started walking upstairs. She’d figure it out somehow.
During his bath, Lucas kept talking about the day and practice with Patrice. It was hard to shut him up long enough to wash his head, but Emily somehow manages. She got him out of the bath and put his clothes on the floor for him. She told him to dry off, get dressed and then come down. She’d take care of dinner and he could watch a little bit of TV while she was busy.
When she finally heard the TV go on in the living room, she had to smile to herself. Hockey. What else would he watch? She didn’t know which teams were playing, but she was sure, Lucas would tell her over dinner. And he did. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut long enough to enjoy his pasta, so Emily had to tell him to eat his pasta, or she wouldn’t tell him what she’d wanted to tell him before bed, no, he’d have to wait till the next day to find out.
When he remembered that his mother had told him that she’d tell him something, he shut up and wolfed down his pasta. It must have been something really interesting or she wouldn’t have told him in advance that she wanted to tell him something.
“Okay, you can watch the game while I clean up the kitchen, but then it’s off to bed, okay?”
Lucas nodded, got down from his chair and practically ran to the living room. That put a smile on Emily’s face. Hockey was in his blood, and she hadn’t been the one to introduce him to the sport.
Lucas was still wide awake when Emily picked him up and carried him upstairs. She let him down in the bathroom so that he could brush his teeth. She didn’t have to supervise him anymore, so she already settled down on his bed and waited for him. He stormed inside, climbed on top of his bed, and pulled the covers up under his chin.
“You know, Luke, what I have to tell you is kind of important, okay?” Lucas simply nodded, staring at his mother with big eyes. He loved when she told him stories, no matter if they were real ones, or storied she’d invented. She was his favorite story-teller. “You’ve asked me about your father a couple of times, and you remember why you don’t know him, right?”
He nodded. At some point Emily had told him that he’d meet him some day, but that right now he didn’t know about Lucas, because he had some things to do in his life, before Emily could tell him about Lucas. Lucas didn’t understand it completely, she knew that, but at least he had a vague idea why he didn’t know his father.
Emily stroked his hair and looked down at his face. He was her everything. After her mother’s death, Lucas was the only family she had left. She should have contacted Patrice right then, but she’d wanted Lucas to herself in her time of grief. Now, she was ready to share him, she had to be.
“Your Dad now knows about you and you have already met him.”
“What? When?”
“Today. We were ice skating with him.”
His little brain was working, and when he realized whom she was talking about, a look of utter shock crossed his face. There was only one man he’d met that day. Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins.
“I know, this is a bit much to take in right now, sweetheart, but let me try to explain.” She ran her fingers through his hair again and again, calming him, but mostly calming her own racing heart. “We met when we were both on vacation. We promised to stay in touch and then I found out that I would have you. I was so happy, you wouldn’t believe it.” Well, obviously not at first, but once the thought of having a child had settled in, she’d been thrilled. “But I didn’t tell Patrice because I wanted him to become a successful hockey player. It had been his dream, and I didn’t want him to lose focus. I know, you wanted a Dad and needed one, but I hope you can forgive me for keeping you to myself for so long.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. She wasn’t sure if he had really understood everything she’d told him, but at least the most important point for him had finally settled in.
“Patrice Bergeron is my Dad?”
“Yes, and he wants to get to know you better, spend time with you and be a part of your life. Only if you want that, too, of course.”
“Yes!” he sat upright in his bed, startling Emily, but she had to laugh about his enthusiasm. Pretty much what she’d hoped for, and kind of expected.
“Okay, I know this is exciting for you-“
“I have a Dad!” He grinned at his Mom and hugged her.
“Yes, you do, sweetie.” She pushed back his hair, kissed the top of his head and sighed happily. “But now you need to try and get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow. And no word to anybody tomorrow, okay? Except for Johnny. You can tell Johnny, but it has to be a secret between you two, okay?” Lucas nodded. “Pinkie promise?”
“Yes!”
Emily pulled up the covers, and wished him a goodnight before she turned off the light and headed downstairs. With a sigh of relief, she grabbed her mobile phone and called Patrice. After all, she’d promised him to let him know how it went.
“Hello?”
Her heart leapt at the sound of his voice and it was such an unwelcome feeling that she didn’t know what to say for a moment.
“Emily, is that you?”
“Um… yes, sorry. I got a little distracted.” No spacing out on the phone, Emily. “I said I’d let you know how my talk with Lucas went.”
“And?” she heard papers rustling in the background, and wanted to know what he was up to. It wasn’t her business, though. She’d been the one to exclude him from her life, to break off all contact.
“He’s really excited. He finally has a father and then it’s you. One of the people he looks up to so much. I told him that he can only tell Johnny, though, and keep it a secret between them. I don’t know how you want to handle this, so I thought that might be best.”
Patrice hadn’t really thought about this himself. He’d have to talk to his coach first, maybe the PR people. It wasn’t like he wanted to make it public, it wasn’t his duty to let the world know that he had a son, but he probably would have to in order to protect them. If he came out with the story, people would understand. If he didn’t, they might assume that Emily only wants his money and it wasn’t even his child. That wasn’t something he wanted to put his child through.
“I’ll think about it, talk to some people.”
“Okay. We have to figure out when you want to spend time with Lucas.”
“When are you home from work tomorrow?”
The question startled Emily, but she answered him anyway: “I’ll be home around four. Lucas will go home with Johnny and I have to buy some groceries before I can head home. Why?”
“Is it okay if I drop by then? I have morning practice and a game in the evening. I could give you a copy of my schedule for the next months and then we can work out when we can do something together, or maybe when I can take Lucas somewhere if that’s okay with you.”
“It sounds like a really good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Yes,” Patrice hesitated a moment before he added: “Goodnight.”
Emily stared at the phone after that conversation. It was odd to have him back in her life, but good for Lucas. Confusing for her.
ah this is good! keep writingggggg!
12/27/13