Emily’s heart started to race when she heard the doorbell the following day. She’d just finished putting away her groceries and took a deep breath. Okay. Her outfit was good, it showed the good assets of her figure, her mascara wasn’t smeared and her hair was brushed. One last look in the mirror, she pinched her cheeks to give them some color back, and then she opened the door. She wouldn’t let Patrice know that he made her nervous.
One look at him, though, and her heart began palpitating again, making it hard for her to act normal. He was wearing jeans and a black coat, his hair fell a bit over his eyes, and he hadn’t shaved, much to her delight. Why was it, that he made her weak, made her want to wrap her arms around him and welcome him back to her life, beg him to stay at least for some time so that they could repeat what they’d had in Florida?
She knew she couldn’t do any of this. Patrice was probably pissed off by her behavior that he was only with her to get everything sorted out with Lucas. Then there was Lucas. She wanted him to have a good relationship with his Dad, and that shouldn’t get endangered by her behavior, just because she was still attracted to him. Well, more than attracted.
“Hey, can I come in?” Patrice said with one of his charming smiles, holding up a brown paper bag. Emily stepped inside to let him in. He walked straight to the kitchen, put down the bag and took off his coat to hang it over the back of a chair. He took the bag in his hands again and turned towards her. “I thought I’d bring cupcakes as a peace offering.”
“Peace offering?” Emily asked confused. Why would he think he had anything to apologize for or bring her this? He’d done nothing wrong. In fact, she was the one who’d done everything wrong and hurt him in the process. “Why on earth do you think you need that?”
“Because the PR people as well as the Coach and Chia all said that we have to go public with Lucas being my son.” With a sigh he looked down at his shoes, before he decided to look at her again. “They want Carin Switaj (I have no idea how her name is written to be honest) to do a little interview with me to explain the situation. That way everything I don’t want to be shown can be edited out and we’ll go through the questions before. It will be on the Bruins website and that’s it. I won’t talk to any other reporters, except if it’s really necessary, but that should not happen. It’s nobody’s business but ours, but you know how the media people are.”
He was talking a mile a minute, obviously nervous and not comfortable with this topic and the way it was going to be handled. The problem was, that he didn’t really have a choice. It was either talking to the Bruins Beat reporter or someone else, and with Miss Switaj, he could still choose what to say and what not.
“You and Lucas won’t be involved in the filming or anything. They asked to film me and Lucas skating, but I said no. I don’t want him exposed for the world to see. He’s a five year old kid, my five year old kid. He shouldn’t have to worry about reporters and people who don’t have anything to do with his life.”
Emily stared at him for a moment. He was still the same guy he’d been all those years ago, only a bit more mature and even more worried about the people surrounding him. Emily was ready to cry, but instead she took a deep breath and forced a smile. She couldn’t keep herself from wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing him close. For a moment he was surprised, but then he wrapped his arms around her, gave her a slight squeeze. He hadn’t felt her this close in years, and it send a jolt of awareness through his body.
Before he could think any longer about it, though, Emily let go of him and took a big step back to put some distance between their bodies. It had been some time since he’d last touched, kissed a woman. Not since Stephanie had left.
“This is not your fault, Pat.” Emily took the bag from him to put the cupcakes on plates. “If I had told you about Lucas back then, we wouldn’t have this situation. Lucas couldn’t have hoped for a better person to be his Dad.” She handed him one of the plates and indicated for them to sit down at the table. “I’m glad that you don’t want him to be exposed to the press, though I would understand why we’d have to do that.”
“No way.” He was still a little happy about her remark that Lucas couldn’t have hoped for a better Dad. He was still not sure whether his abilities as a father would really be good, but he’d try his best, and with keeping him out of the spotlight, he’d obviously done the first thing right. “I want him to grow up like any other kid. I can’t promise that they won’t try to talk to you and Lucas, but I’ll try my best to keep them away from you.”
“I feel like such an idiot for not telling you about him.” Emily buried her face in her hands. “You would have been able to be a Dad and become a hockey pro. If there’s one person who can do that, it’s you. But I didn’t think so at the time. I’m so so sorry, Pat.”
“It’s okay.” Patrice gently put his hand on hers and gave it a squeeze. He felt her relax slowly. “I would have liked to know it then, but I can understand your motive. Let’s just try to forget about it, okay? We should focus on the here and now and on me getting to know Lucas a bit better.”
“If you’re sure. I thought you would hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Emily.” Images of Florida flashed before his eyes, and brought a smile to his lips. “For a moment, I was really angry, but when you talked to me, I started understanding it more and more. You didn’t do it out of spite, but because you wanted me to fulfill my dream. Still, it hurts that you kept that from me, that you broke off all contact. But I want to spend my energy on Lucas and hating you, or being angry with you, won’t get us anywhere. It’s wasted energy.”
“Okay.” Emily nodded before she took a bite out of her cupcake, enjoying the rich flavor of chocolate on her lips and tongue. It had been ages since she’d last tasted such a good cupcake. She loved baking, but lately she hadn’t had the time to do that, with kindergarten work and Lucas demanding attention. Maybe she’d get some time to do it when Patrice took care of Lucas.
For a moment they simply looked at each other in silence, Emily feeling her heart start to race once again. Eventually, Patrice let go of her hand and straightened in his seat. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Emily. Of course, she knew what it was, because they’d talked about it before. It was the reason Patrice had come to her house in the first place.
Emily unfolded the paper and looked at it. All the days Patrice was off, she had time, or at least Lucas had. She didn’t think it would be a problem for Patrice to pick up Lucas at Jack’s place in the evening, take him to her so that they could have dinner together. Patrice liked the suggestion. He would gladly take Lucas ice skating as well, but only later on when they knew each other a little more. Emily suggested that Patrice could pick them up from kindergarten in three days. By then he’d be back from Vancouver, and Emily could have told Lucas about all this.
They arranged the next four weeks and Patrice would come to the kindergarten as well, to a little Halloween festivity they were holding. He had the day off and wanted to spend it with Lucas. Afterwards they could go to Emily’s house and have dinner before they put Lucas to bed. It all sounded like a great idea, now they just had to keep it up and make this whole relationship between father and son work. Both of them, Lucas as well as Patrice, were excited, though, so there was little doubt that they wouldn’t make it work.
“I’ll get going then. I’ve got a game to win tonight.” Patrice got up with a grin and put his coat back on.
“Yeah, I know. Lucas has been talking about it all day.”
“That’s good to know.” He couldn’t help but smile.
Emily wanted to walk him to the door, but on her way she tripped over one of Lucas’ toys she’d forgotten to put away. Patrice caught her easily and pulled her close. A reflex to keep her from falling any other way. Her hands were on his chest, her eyes pressed shut. She’d anticipated an impact, but was instead enveloped in big, strong arms that send shivers down her spine as soon as she realized that she wasn’t hitting the floor anytime soon.
Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up to see Patrice’s eyes staring straight back at her. She was unable to move under his steady gaze. Lost in thought and in her imagination, she wet her lips with her tongue. God, she was daydreaming about him while he was right in front of her, holding her.
Patrice’s eyes darted to her lips when her tongue came out. Memories of kissing those full lips on the beach, in the ocean, in bed, hell wherever, came back to him and he wanted a taste again. Just this once to see if she tasted the same after more than five years. If she still had the same reaction.
He lowered his head to meet her lips with his. Emily’s eyes closed instantly, her breath hitched and her fingers pressed against his chest. Her lips were soft and they tasted like strawberries. She was still using the same lip balm she’d used back then, and it answered his question. Her hands relaxed and she leaned against him. Exactly the same reaction she’d had back then. All this should satisfy him, but not only she had the same reaction to him, but he was the same way with her. Just one taste didn’t satisfy him. He needed more.
He ran one hand up her back and entangled it in her hair, gently pulling her head back so that her lips opened beneath him. He delved his tongue in her mouth, held her closer with his free arm. Her hands slid up his chest and in his hair. He could feel her fingernails grazing his scalp, sending shivers down his spine. She tasted so sweet, of her lip balm and the chocolate from the cupcake she’d just had.
When he finally parted his lips from hers, she was breathless, even more so than he was. Her eyes opened wide and she slowly stepped out of his embrace. Damn, this had been a mistake, he knew that, but he couldn’t have stopped himself from doing it, even if he’d wanted to. He could still kiss her again and do other things with her, even though he really shouldn’t.
“I… think you have to go now?” Emily traced her fingertips over her lips, still comprehending what had just happened.
Patrice didn’t know whether it was a request or a question, but she was right. He really had to go before something else happened that they’d both regret later on. He was here because of Lucas, not because of Emily.
“We’ll talk on the phone,” he said before he walked past her and left the house. As much as he’d wanted to stay, he had to go and get his mind off Emily. It wasn’t good to think of her this way.

Notes

As promised, a new part after I returned from Italy :)