Back at the Monarossabergie House, things are not looking too well for Brandon. He is lying on the sofa as his merman self with his fin propped up on the armrest. Joseph is sitting on the recliner chair; Nick is still asleep on the other sofa. The fishbowl is still on the countertop, untouched; the fish inside it is happily sucking in its food.

“How the heck did this happen?” Joseph asks Brandon with his arm extended toward him.

Brandon shrugs. “I have no idea…”

He nods his head at him. “Walk me through it.”

Brandon sighs and adjusts himself as he mentally rewinds to the moment before his legs were taken away and replaced with a tail. “Well, I went to the pet store, I got the food for the fish, I came back out into the pouring rain and while I was getting my umbrella opened, I felt something was off with me.

“So I ran down the alley to get to the Jeep, but then I fell and yeah.” He shrugs. “I’m now a merman.”

“When did you feel off, exactly? Like for me--” Joseph places a hand on his chest. “--before I grew small, I felt something off as well, and that was right after I ate the small cranberries, which were the reason why I grew small.”

“Hmmm…” Brandon pursed his lips in deep thought. “I felt weird while I was wiping the rain from my eyes… Man…” He shakes his head slowly. “...that was a lot of rain pouring on me there… And right after that, I felt off.”

From the other sofa, Nick shifts a bit before perking his head up, revealing his sleepy expression. “That reminds me of a show I watch.”

The two roommates turn to face the other roommate with bewildered expressions.

“I watch this show that has the main characters turn into mermaids whenever they touch water.” A soft smile spreads across his face. “I like that show.”

“Since when do you have time to watch shows?” Joseph snaps at him incredulously. “All you do is eat and sleep around all day.”

“I watch the show every night before I go to bed,” Nick replies calmly.

Joseph scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Okay…,” Brandon starts off, “...do the characters turn back to human?”

Nick’s eyes light up. “Oh yeah, they do! They have to dry themselves to turn back to human.”

He slightly gawks at him. “Like with a towel?”

“No, with an ice cube,” Joseph remarks sarcastically.

“Yeah, with a towel,” Nick replies much more friendly than Joseph. “Or with dehydrating powers, but you don’t have those, right?”

Brandon shakes his head warily. “Not that I know of.” He peers at the two. “So we try out drying myself with a towel?”

“Sure.” Joseph then pulls out his phone and begins swiping through it.

Brandon clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, Joey?”

Joseph lowers his phone down, revealing his piercing eyes.

“Can you please get me a towel?” He flashes him a massive grin.

With a frown, Joseph pushes himself off from the reclining chair and storms down the foyer and into the hallway. A few moments later, he strides back into the living room with a towel at hand. “Here.” He throws it at Brandon’s face.

Brandon pulls the towel from his face and glares at his roommate. “Thank you.” He then begins drying off his hair, chest, and arms.

“Oh, don’t forget to do your tail too!” Nick exclaims, pointing to his tail. “They also dry their tail in the show.”

Brandon begins rubbing the towel furiously against his tail, hoping earnestly that this tactic would work. Suddenly, a swirl of yellow energy spirals around Brandon from the tip of his tail to the top of his head, leaving him in his human form and his clothes back on.

Brandon gasps happily. “Guys! It worked!” He quickly sits correctly on the sofa. “I’m back to human!”

Joseph eyes him from the corner of his eyes. “Good. I don’t have to be carrying you around anymore.”

“Alright, sweet!” Brandon rises to his feet. “I’m gonna go shower now because I do not smell the best.” He then begins to walk out from the circle of living room furniture.

“Wait!” Nick calls out slowly from behind him.

Brandon whirls around to face his from the opening of the foyer. “Yeah?”

“Just because you’re human doesn’t mean you can’t turn back to a merman again. You turned into a merman because you touched water. If you touch water again, you’re gonna turn into a merman again.”

Brandon purses his lips with knitted eyebrows as he processes what he said. Then, he shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t feel weird. I’m good.” He then turns back around and disappears into the foyer.

Nick sighs slowly as he turns himself over to his back. “I tried,” he mumbles.

“Hm.” Joseph has his attention on his phone. “That’s odd how the same principle from that TV show applies to Monty.” He slides his eyes to his roommate. “Does he watch that show with you?”

Nick slowly shakes his head. “No, just me.”

“That’s strange.” He turns back to his phone. “TV shows like that are supposed to be fictional, not based on reality. Oh wait--” He then puts his phone down. “--I was the one who turned small. Of course.” He lifts his phone back up to his eye level. “The line between fantasy and reality is blurred at the moment. How could I possibly forget that?” He then roughly swipes his thumbs across the screen multiple times.

“AAAHHH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!” Brandon’s voice echos from the bathroom.

Nick peers up at Joseph. “I warned him.”

“GUYS!” he continues yelling. “HELP! I CAN’T TURN OFF THE WATER!!!”

Then in a series of grumbles, Joseph slips his phone into his jeans’ pockets, lifts himself off from the seat, and storms out of the living room and down the hallway to the bathroom.

---

“Here are the things you can’t touch--” Joseph scribbles WATER below the title CAN’T TOUCH in sharp, capital letters on a pad of yellow notebook paper.

The three of the Monarossabergie House residents are now huddled around the island in the kitchen. Brandon is back to his human self, sitting across from Joseph. At the end of the island is Nick, who is standing just like the writer.

“Since you can’t touch water,” Joseph continues on, tapping the pen’s tip on WATER, “you’ll have to be careful around several areas.”

He then proceeds to write in a new line BE CAREFUL AROUND… He peers up at the others. “What has water in it?”

“The shower,” Brandon remarks grimly.

SHOWER, Joseph writes. “And?”

“The refrigerator,” Nick adds in.

Joseph peers at him incredulously. “What?”

“The refrigerator gives us water.”

Joseph rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” FRIDGE.

“There’s the kitchen sink,” Brandon points out.

KITCHEN SINK. BATHROOM SINK.

“Toilet,” Nick brings up.

Joseph harshly scribbles out the two appliances in the bathroom and writes THE WHOLE BATHROOM. “What else?”

“Ummm...can I drink water?” Brandon asks warily.

Nick nods his head. “Yeah. In the TV show, the characters could drink water, but they had to be careful not to touch it with their hands or face. Also, they had to be careful to not touch the condensation from cold drinks.”

“Ohhh…”

“That’s under can be under ‘fridge,’” Joseph points out, referring to drinking water.

“Wait: laundry!” Brandon exclaims.

LAUNDRY. Joseph pauses. “What?” he spits out, glaring at him. “You can’t do laundry anymore?”

Brandon shrugs with an embarrassed smile. “It doesn’t seem like it…”

Joseph thrusts the pen across the island then resorts to stuffing his jaw against his fist with a stormy expression.

“One more thing:” Nick starts off, “hockey.”

Brandon immediately freezes. His jaw begins to drop; he slowly gazes at his two roommates. “Wait...what…?”

“Yeah,” Joseph agrees flatly, “ice is made out of water--you can’t play hockey with this condition of yours: ice gets sprayed everywhere and then there’re the squirt bottles.”

“Wait…” Trepidation begins growing on his face. “I-I can’t stop playing hockey! I have to continue playing hockey! I need to play hockey! That’s my job!”

“Well, gotta get rid of this merman thing then--”

“But how?” Brandon throws his hands out from his sides. “I can’t miss a game! The team needs me!”

“And we have a game tonight, seven oh-five,” Nick points out calmly.

“That doesn’t give us time to figure out how to get rid of this!!!”

Joseph shrugs. “The problem is that you can’t touch the ice. You’re just gonna have to wear more gear to cover up, that’s all.”

Brandon stands there as he mulls over what his roommate just stated. “Huh...that’s right…”He nods his head. “I just need to cover all my skin-- Easy! I mean, we’re already covered head to toe as it is! Just the neck and head, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” Brandon adjusts his shoulders. “This shouldn’t be too bad.”

Notes

E.7 "Imma Merman"
Part 3/8
Episode 7/20