Reflex

The next morning I sat outside on the balcony, wrapped in my black soft bathrobe. I lit my third cigarette since I woke up an hour ago.

[i]This is really not good.[/i]

“Sarah?”

I turned around to see Carey standing there in his boxers and his undershirt, blinking sleep away.

“Hey.” I said, turning back around and taking a drag.

He glanced at my ash tray as he sat. “How long have you been up?”

“An hour or so.”

“Sarah, look – “

“Don’t say it.” I said.

“Don’t say what?”

“You want to say sorry. You feel like you took advantage of me being drunk. You were drunk. It was a mistake. I get it, okay? So spare me the bullshit and just go. We have a plane to catch soon.”

He stared at me and I stood up. “What? No – “

“Look, it’s okay. Really.” I said. “It’s just I don’t have time for bullshit. I have a lot of things to do before I get on that plane so I’ll see you later.”

I ground my cigarette out and went inside, promptly locking myself in the bathroom. Then he pounded on the door.

“Sarah, open up. I want to talk to you.”

I responded by turning on the shower.

“For fuck’s sake, I know you can hear me. It wasn’t like that at all, okay?”

I closed my eyes and leant against the wall.

“I wanted it, I really did. And I want to do this again. Not just the sex but the nice dinner and the taking care of you and staying with you all night.”

[i]he probably has brain damage. He’s a hockey player, after all.[/i]

“Come on, Sarah.”

I slipped off my robe and stepped into the shower.

“Please, Sarah. I want you and I don’t understand why.”

I slid down and sat under the pounding water. After a few minutes, I heard the room door open and then shut.

[i]Fuck.[/i]