AUTUMN LEAVES

“I’m fucked”, Sidney spoke quietly as he rubbed his face with his hands trying not to look Kris in the eye. Kris was pacing while he uttered under his breath, trying to find a way to articulate the rage he felt inside without hurting his best friend. Sidney has just told him that he almost kissed Autumn Scott, Mario’s girlfriend. “Seriously, what were you thinking?!”. He asked his captain. “I wasn’t”, Sidney simply answered. “I always had a suspicion about this. I’ve seen the way you look at her. Hell, everyone has. I thought you found her attractive like everyone else did. But I never thought for one moment that you would go that far”, Kris said with fury.

Sidney sighed with defeat remembering that moment in the parking lot last night.

“Oh Autumn, you have no idea, do you?”. Sidney said breathlessly. “I do”, Autumn said with a sad smile. That was all it took to shake Sidney out from his trance and away from what he almost confessed. He detached himself from her and took two steps back. He felt cold sweat breaking over his forehead. ‘what?! She knows?!’ Sidney alarmingly thought. He stared back at her wide-eyed and tong-tied, waiting for her to say something, anything. “I know all the pressure you’re facing Sid, especially this time of the year. I also know your wrist hurts and that worries you”. Sidney was in disbelief. He was not sure if he should feel relieved that she had no idea about his feeling, or angry that she actually had no idea. He wanted to scream and yell at her for being so blind. Instead, he found himself doubling over with hysterical laughs. Covering his mouth, he laughed and laughed some more at how stupid he felt in that moment, tears flowing from his eyes. Were they tears of relief or grief? He could never tell. Autumn was shocked at his strange outburst. He went from crying on her shoulder to laughing like a possessed man. She was utterly confused until Sidney gained back his senses. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. Nothing that a good night sleep won’t take care of”. She nodded, still a little confused. They said their goodnights and parted ways.

Sidney re-read her text from this morning, the text after which he freaked out and called his friend to come over.

-Hey Sid, I hope you’re feeling better this morning, let me know if you’re still up for our zip lining adventure this afternoon. If so, text me the time you’ll be picking me up from work.

“I love her Tanger”, Sidney said just above a whisper. It was the first time that he says it out loud. His admission was however met with silence. If Kris was shocked at Sid’s earlier revelation, he was stunned at the latter one. “Sid, are you sure? What about that girl, Cath’s friend? You went out with her last month. I thought you too got along. Maybe you’re just bored, you cannot be serious about this”. Kris said, in a mix of disbelief and denial. Sidney shook his head. “I know how I feel and I know how wrong it is. All sorts of wrong. I’ve tried for so long to deny it, but I was lying to myself. I just can’t see her anymore. I can’t trust myself around her. I almost kissed her last night, I don’t know if I can stop myself next time. Just tell her and Catherine that I’m sore or something. She knows about my wrist. Make any excuse”.

Kris was still digesting what Sidney had just said. He has never heard his long-time friend say that he loved a woman, ever. It troubled him that of all women he could be with, he wanted the only one he should and could NOT be with. “So, let me get this straight, you say you love her and your solution to that is to avoid seeing her”, Kris summarized in a deadpan tone. It sounded sarcastic enough to upset Sidney. His nostrils flared and if a look could kill, Kris would have dropped dead in that instant. “Alright, don’t get upset. You do understand what you’re telling me? Sid, you can’t avoid her forever. She’s Mario’s...”. “Girlfriend, I get it”, Sidney interrupted him. Taking few deep breaths, Sidney told himself that Kris is just trying to help. “You date someone else. Have a girlfriend like anyone our age normally does. You may find someone you like just enough to make your feelings towards her go away”. Sidney looked at Kris as if he grew two heads. “I know it is not as easy as it sounds, but you have to forget about her one way or another”.

Sidney knew that Kris was right. “Listen, you got her that gift for Christmas and you promised that you would go with her. She’ll be disappointed and may start wondering about that. Unless you want her to be worried about your wrist more than she is already”, Kris added. That last sentence got his attention and for just a fleeting moment he pictured Autumn caring about him the same way he cared about her. But he knew she didn’t. She loved Mario. As if reading his thoughts, Kris adds, “she cares about you but not in that way Sid, she loves her boyfriend, they live together, I even heard that it may even get more serious than that, so just be careful okay?”. “What do you mean more serious than that?”, Sidney asked already disliking the answer. “I heard rumors, they may or may not be true. But in any case, I guess you’ll be the first to know if they were true. I mean given how close you are to Mario”. Not knowing what else to say he nodded.

“Sid, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. Take advantage of the few days off before the playoffs start. Go home or do whatever that you do to unwind. Once we start the playoffs you’ll be too preoccupied with hockey that you will forget about all of this. Before you know it, it’s the off-season. You won’t see her then so that’s perfect”. Kris laid it out so simply for him and Sidney was tempted to think that his friend may be right, soon he’ll submerge himself in hockey as he usually does this time of year. He’ll go home in the summer, do his usual travels and training all over north America and he’ll forget about her.

Sidney reluctantly replied to Autumn’s text.

-Hey, I’m better thanks. I’ll pick you up at 3:00. Kris and Catherine will carpool with us.

*****

“I don’t think it can be tightened more than this Autumn”, Sidney said rolling his eyes as she failed to tighten her harness further. “Shut up”. “You’re mean when you’re scared”, Sidney said as he lifted both arms in surrender. Kris was cheering for his wife from his spot below them on the ground as she took the first run at the zip line connecting the first set of two long trees. “Come on Autumn. it’s fast, you’ll be on the other side before you know it”. Catherine yelled from the other side. Sidney put both hands on her shoulders lifting his ball cap and lowering his head so he could look at her. He gave her a small pep talk. “Take a deep breath, you can do it. Look you’re safely hooked, if you fall you won’t even reach the ground. I’ll go right after you”. “I feel so stupid at how scared I am”, she laughed nervously. “You’re not stupid, you’re facing a big fear. It’s never easy to do that. You’re brave enough to try. If you changed your mind it’s okay too. No one is gonna judge you, okay?”. She nodded. “I didn’t come all the way over here to chicken out”. She exhaled unsteadily. “Let’s do this”. She closed her eyes for few seconds, when she opened them, a look of determination was on her sun-kissed face. She jumped and went for it as her three friends cheered. Kris recorded her jump on his phone as he promised Mario he would. His neck injury holding him back from the fun his wife and friends were having.

When she reached the other side, Sidney was close behind her. He landed a little too strongly next to the two women, crashing into Autumn who tried to steady him as both tumbled on the platform with Sidney’s big body crushing hers. As he was trying to get up, Autumn started laughing uncontrollably, with everyone soon joining her. “And here I thought I was gonna fall”. Kris observed the exchange between Sidney and Autumn. They acted so naturally around each other. High-fiving and hugging the way old friends do. Then it hit him. Sidney does love her. He wanted to avoid her not just to prevent a stupid mistake, but mostly because it hurts him to be near her and not do anything about it. “One line down, four to go”, Kris shouted.

*****

“Chris Kunitz scores in double OT, you won the Prince of Wales trophy for the second year straight. Your team is going to have a run at the cup again. You have a chance to be the first team to win the Stanley cup twice in a row in nearly two decades, how does it feel?”, the first obvious question came in the press conference following the Pens win over the senators in the Eastern conference finals. Sidney, Kuni and Geno answered the many questions that the media had before heading to the party that Mario and Autumn have put together “last minute” for the team to celebrate the huge win. Though, Autumn with the help of Catherine and Veronique Fleury had actually planned it ahead of time in case the team won, but did not tell anyone, knowing how superstitious their hockey partners were.

The joy filled the big mansion, with some people in the basement playing games, others socializing in the family room while few opted to sit outside on Mario’s expansive patio, despite the cold spring night. Sidney stood in the kitchen, beer bottle in hand as he watched from the large kitchen window a drunk Carl push a drunk Horny in the pool. He had a blissful smile on his face. “These two are something huh?”, someone said behind him making him jump. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you there Sid”, Lauren Lemieux said while giving him a hug. “Congrats, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the game”. The two were catching up when Autumn walked into the kitchen with few empty champagne flutes.

“Hey Lauren, I didn’t know you arrived”, Autumn greeted the oldest Lemieux daughter warmly. “Mario mentioned you’re gonna be late, did you eat? There’s quiche Lorraine on the counter over there, it’s your favorite”, Autumn added with a wink as Lauren thanked her politely. Autumn squeezed Sidney’s shoulder. “Everyone was wondering where you went”, she said on her way out. When Autumn was out of ear shots, Lauren sighed heavily and turned to Sidney who gave her a questioning look. “You know, dad told me that he is going to ask her to marry him after the playoffs”, Lauren said with clear disappointment in her voice.

“I’m an adult and I understand my dad is not too old and he deserves to be happy and have a life, even if it wasn’t with mom. But man does it suck still”. Sidney sympathized with her but for different reasons that he will not be sharing. He took a large swig of his beer trying to hide how this information made him feel. “She makes him happy. she’s a good person Lauren. I know you’re not a big fan of her, but believe me Mario lucked out. She’s great and he’d be crazy to let her go”. Sidney told her honestly. She nodded as he sighed, still processing that Mario is proposing to Autumn soon. “After the playoffs, eh?”. Lauren laughed lightly, linking her arm with his. “Yes, so you better play till game seven, I want to delay the inevitable for as long as possible”.

As the two almost siblings joined the group in the family room, Sidney couldn’t help but smile when he locked eyes with the woman he knew he loved. He tipped his bottle towards her and took another swig. If he couldn’t be with her then he’ll make damn sure that she is happy with the man she chose. She deserves this much and some. Despite the hurt, Sidney had to admit that marrying her is the best thing Mario could do.

Notes

Hey people! Thanks for reading and following the story of Autumn and Sidney. your feedback (comments or votes) is always welcomed!

Cheers,

charlie