November 15th, 2017
Dear diary,
People say you can’t lose what you never had, and yet here I am crying over him once again. He was never mine. And now, he will certainly never be. He’s with another woman. And of course, of all women in Pittsburgh, he chose a friend of mine. She’s undeniably beautiful, smart and genuine. She’s a wonderful person. I would know. After seeing them together tonight, it was obvious to me how good she is for him, they looked like a good fit. She makes him happy, this much was obvious too. But I’m hurt. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I’m trying hard to mend my broken heart and to find solace in my marriage. I will find the love I once had for my husband. I will. I must.
Sincerely,
Your past self
__________________

Mario waited patiently for his wife to get ready as he flipped through the latest issue of GQ magazine featuring his two superstars, Sidney and Geno. Checking the time, he realized that they only had 45 minutes until they absolutely had to make an appearance on the red carpet at their own fundraiser. “Honey, we should leave soon if we want to make it on time”, Mario said loudly for his wife to hear him from the second floor. “I’m almost done, just deciding on the necklace”, she yelled back. “Can you come please?”, she added.

Mario was surprised that she hadn’t decided on that yet. She told him a week ago about what she wanted to wear, down to every detail. Entering their walk-in closet, he saw her standing in front of the cheval mirror wearing a dress he’d seen her in once before, the day she tried it on during their getaway to Paris. “So, you’re not wearing the red one?”, he asked, curious to why she changed her mind. When she turned around, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. His eyes scanned her in the long fitted dress that had a deep plunging neckline in what the designer had called, garnet crêpe Georgette, a fabric name that he found hilarious, and tone on tone green crystal embroidery. He had insisted that she bought it claiming that the design and colors were almost tailored for her. The dress accentuated her narrow waist and ample chest, that Mario was finding it hard to breath the longer he eyed her.

“Wow. My god sweetheart. You look… Wow. Absolutely amazing”, Mario said, stunned at his wife’s beauty, as if seeing her for the very first time. He stood in front of her and ran his hand through her loose blonde curls that fell naturally around her shoulders. She leaned into his touch and whispered a quite thank you. “You still blush every single time I compliment you”, he said lovingly, placing a kiss on her forehead, not wanting to mess up the darker than usual purple lipstick that she wore. It was a dangerous color that only his wife could pull off, he mused.

“I was wondering if I wore these…”, she said motioning to the emerald necklace and earrings. “Will it be too much greens with a green dress?”, she asked. “Not at all. You do know it’s my favorite color on you. It matches your eyes, my love”, he whispered, still inspecting her from head to toe, marveling at her beauty. “What’s wrong?”, she asked when he sighed. “You’re going to be turning heads tonight. Every single person at the party is going to be staring at my wife, wondering what a gorgeous woman like you is doing with an old man like me”, he said joking, though she could sense some seriousness in his last statement.

“Oh please, look at you. You’re not an old man”, she said chuckling as she swatted him on his solid chest. She ran her hands over his sturdy shoulders, his long arms and then linked her hands in his. “I’m the lucky one, Mario. You’re more than any woman could ever ask for”, she spoke affectionately trying to hide the twinge of guilt she felt at how she betrayed her wonderful husband; but she meant every word she said. She pecked him briefly on the lips and went to put her jewelry and heels.

“Okay, I understand. Thanks for the heads-up, Derek. Bye now”. Mario hung up the phone with long sigh, as the car sped towards their destination in Pittsburgh. Autumn who was staring out the car window, lost in thought, turned towards her husband to give him a questioning look. “Was that the head of security Derek?”, she asked, getting worried that something may have happened at the venue. “Yes. He was just telling me to expect a huge crowd at the entrance. More media than usual. A lot more”, Mario said uneasily. “And that’s bad because...”, she trailed, thinking that having a large media coverage of an event for raising funds and awareness was supposed to be a good thing, a sign of success.

“Because I don’t think national and Canadian media are there for our event, Autumn”, he answered. “Jenny from PR called yesterday and mentioned that there may have been a leak. They haven’t located the source yet, but she thinks that the media may have been alerted about Sidney’s girlfriend making an appearance. I guess Jen’s concerns have materialized”, he added with a frown. Autumn opened her mouth then closed it, unsure what to say. This topic hasn’t left her mind ever since Mario had told her few nights ago. She was already bracing herself for this night. She was trying to make her peace with the fact that Sidney had moved on, not wanting to dwell on the fact that he may have been dating this woman all along, even during their time together, when he had almost convinced her that she meant “everything” to him.

Mario shook his head, obviously unhappy with the situation. “I’m happy that Sidney had found someone but I told him he’s rushing it. He didn’t listen of course. Now he will face something he dreads. He will face the reason he didn’t date in public. I’m worried that it’ll make him regret and even maybe mess up his new relationship. Even worse, it may scare her off. Putting her in the spotlight this early on is a terrible mistake”, Mario said exasperated.

Autumn listen to her husband complain about Sidney’s lack of judgment. It was so unlike Sidney to be rash like that and she had to agree with Mario. She placed her hand over his and tried to reassure him. “He’s not a kid anymore, Mario. I’m sure he’s aware of what to expect from the media and the fans by now. He will deal with the consequences. His new girlfriend on the other hand, she is the wild card. We have no idea who she is and how she’ll react to all the attention that she is surely going to get. We have to wait and see I guess”, she said, trying to hide the bitterness she felt at the mention of this mysterious girlfriend.

*****
I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love

'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say,
I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

“Jealous”,by Labrinth
_______________

“We’re here. Enjoy your evening Sir, Ma’am”, their driver said with a tip of his hat as he parked the car in front of the red carpet, where hundreds of people awaited. “Thanks, Henry. We’ll see you later”, Mario thanked him while Autumn collected her clutch and her emotions with it, preparing herself to face the cameras and an evening that held so much promise for drama and chaos. “I suggest you keep a close eye on the Mrs. tonight, Sir”, Henry joked with a wink and a wave as Autumn sent him a smile before taking Mario’s extended hand to exit the car.

The couple waved and posed for pictures. Mario signed Autographs while Autumn answered questions from local and national newspapers and magazines covering the event. She felt herself relax when asked about their foundation and the event and how it was going to benefit the children. She so passionately spoke about the cause and about her husband’s support to put this event together. She was in her element as she graciously received compliments on her appearance in front of many lenses. Once she was close to the entrance, she motioned for Mario to join her after he finished his last interview.

They took a final pose, with Mario’s arm protectively snaking around his wife’s waist. They gave bright smiles for the cameras, as a commotion started to take place in the background. The photographers taking their pictures turned around swiftly in the direction of the Tesla that had just parked at the start of the red carpet. All eyes were fixated at the car door, Autumn and Mario both bracing themselves for the big reveal, knowing that this was Sidney’s car. He did not hire a driver, he simply drove his own car. Is he alone? Did he change his mind? Autumn wondered to herself, almost too hopeful.

All hope was gone when Sidney appeared and went around his car to the passenger side. Cameras flashed while gasps and murmurs filled the air when Jessica Hunter, the famous top model made an appearance at the Pens captain’s side. “Jessica”, Autumn whispered, stunned. “You know her?”, Mario asked in a shushed voice, not wanting to attract any attention to their conversation. Autumn nodded with a sad expression that no acting class could have helped her hide. She gulped and turned around to enter the venue. “Come on, we should not be staring”, she told Mario monotonously, clearly upset. As she linked her arm with her husband’s and shook some hands here and there, she chanced a look over her shoulder to see Sidney and Jessica standing outside still on the red carpet, among a sea of cameras and fans.

Sidney looked sharp in his black tuxedo with his hair neatly styled and his smile unwavering. He looked happy, unaffected by all the screams of fans nor the media questions that surely were not just about hockey this time. Then Autumn watched her, the perfection that was Jessica Hunter, in her glorious cream dress that contrasted her all-year-long tan and left very little for the imagination. They undeniably made an attractive couple despite Jessica being slightly taller than him in her high heels. She was posing and beaming at the cameras while answering few questions, charmingly smiling at her date every now and then. After all, she was no stranger to the spotlights.

“She seems surprisingly comfortable in this chaos”, Mario whispered in his wife’s ear, as if reading her thoughts. “She’s a famous model. Her job entails that a bunch of people stare at her and take her pictures”, Autumn said a little annoyed. “How well do you know her?”, Mario asked as they headed towards their designated seats. “I met her through Catherine Letang. They go way back”, Autumn said with a tight smile. “But?”, Mario sensed that Autumn did not approve of Sidney’s choice. “But what? There is no but. She seemed very nice to me and Catherine adores her”, Autumn admitted honestly. “So, she’s not just a pretty face?”, Mario asked as he looked at Jessica and Sidney walk side by side in the ballroom while his protégé introduced her to some people.

Not answering Mario’s last question, Autumn followed her husband’s gaze to look at the couple chat with Pittsburgh’s mayor. She knew that it will be their turn soon to talk to them. She was already nervous that Sidney will be sitting at their table, though unlike last time, he won’t be alone. She closed her eyes trying to catch herself before her mind drifted back to that night at the museum. “Meh, she’s pretty, but she’s not in the same league as you, mon amour”, Mario told his wife as he kissed her hand lovingly. “Not even close”, he added with a smile. Autumn teared her eyes from the couple to look at her husband. She gave him a quick peck on the lips as she gathered her confidence for her next move.

Standing up, she pulled Mario with her. “Come on, we should be good hosts”, she said pointing towards the couple that was becoming more and more the center of attention in the middle of the ballroom. “My wife and her manners, everyone”, Mario said to no one in particular. Once he offered her his arm, she curled her hand around his bicep as they walked towards the small crowd that had formed around Sidney and Jessica. As they got closer, Autumn almost laughed to herself at the sight of Sidney. He was not nearly as comfortable as he seemed earlier, something she weirdly considered a small victory. He clearly was feeling overwhelmed by the attention. He was too swamped by everyone wanting to meet his new girlfriend that he did not notice Mario and Autumn join the nosy people party.

“Aren’t you a lucky man, Mario?”, Mayor Peduto joked as he shook hands with Mario and gave Autumn a kiss on the hand. Autumn stood awkwardly next to her husband who started talking about elections with the mayor, a topic that did not interest her in the least bit. To avoid staring at the couple, she started scanning the splendid venue, proud of her hard work at designing and decorating it. The high-ceiling Victorian mansion was the perfect space for their event. It had a rustic yet extravagant feel to it that their guests, which were mostly artists, would surely appreciate. She watched guests being guided to their seats, the band doing a great job with the background music, but the only thing that she found amusing in the whole scene was her friend Nathan. He was looking unimpressed and ready to pull his hair out as he gave instructions to his team. She was too focused on Nathan that she did not hear her name being called at first.

She jumped when someone snapped their fingers too close to her face. When Autumn turned, she saw Jessica standing in front of her. “Hey Autumn! It’s so great to see you! I was so glad when Sid said you’d be here tonight! I don’t know anybody in here”, Jessica exclaimed enthusiastically as she gave Autumn a very friendly hug and kiss. Autumn was a little slow to react, but she managed to greet her back. “It’s good to see you too, Jessica”, her answer came unintentionally formal and her smile never reached her eyes, but Jessica was too excited to notice.

Her husband who seemed to have already met Jessica, came to join the conversation with Sidney at his side. “Hey Autumn, how have you been?”, Sidney said as he gave her an awkward hug and a small kiss on the cheek. When she noticed his eyes lingering on her for far too long, she cleared her throat and forced a smile. He had the nerve to stare at her like that, she thought angrily. “Shall we get you two to your seats? You look like you need a breather?”, Autumn suggested calmly as she led them to their table, unable to ignore the way Sidney took Jessica’s hand in his.

Jessica was a very friendly person that, on normal days, Autumn would even consider delightful to be around. Not tonight though. Jessica talked to Mario as if she had known him her whole life. She touched Sidney every few seconds, his arm, his hand, his chest even his neck at some point. What annoyed Autumn more was that Jessica couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at every little thing. Sidney who sat too close to his girlfriend, was extremely caring and attentive as he made sure her cup was always full and that she followed every conversation at the penguins table. Autumn was too irritated that she left the table, using Nathan as an excuse.

She entered the kitchen area where Nathan was running his own show. Everything looked under control and so did her friend. “Hey, sorry I barely spoke to you earlier. We had a small hiccup with one of the deliveries, but it’s all taken care of now”, he said as he gave his long-time friend a side hug. “Did I mention how stunning you look tonight, Auttie?”, He said as he took her hand and twirled her around. “Thanks, Nate”, she answered quietly. Nate could feel that something was wrong. “Are you nervous about your gig later tonight?”, he asked. “I haven’t performed in front of a crowd in a long time”, she confessed, not wanting to divulge the whole truth of why she was not feeling okay. “Oh please, Autumn. This crown is nothing compared to the one back in Boston”, Nate told her as he gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “Drunk college kids barely qualify as a crowd”, she joked.

She looked pensive for few moments. “Don’t you miss it sometimes? The old days, when our only worries were our band and to get invited to cool parties?”, she said with a lot of nostalgia. “Of course I do. But now, you and Tiff are big shot doctors. Plus, you’re married to one of the most influential men in the city. You no longer have time for us little people”, he teased, trying to cheer her up. Chuckling softly, she shoved him away from her. She suddenly remembered that the most influential man in the city was about to give his speech in the name of the foundation.

With a kiss on the cheek, she thanked her friend and went back to the party. As she was making her way into the ballroom, still behind the crowds, her gaze went in the direction of the dance floor, where most people seemed to be looking. Standing behind the tall ornate tree like a wounded animal, she was greeted by a sight that stung her deep inside. Sidney and his beautiful girlfriend were dancing in front of whole world to see, swaying to the music so carelessly. His hands were all over her and her face was in the crook of his neck. She furiously wiped the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

In that moment, she felt her heart shatter once again, only this time, she was determined to put it back together. She deserved better than this. She deserved happiness. She deserved love. She had a fiercely protective sister, friends who would do anything for her and a husband who cherished her. She had it all, and she almost gave it all away for Sidney. Seeing him with Jessica tonight was a blessing in disguise. It was the wake-up call she needed, the slap in the face and the stab in the heart that will put the pieces of her life back together.

Notes

Hello good people,

Here is "Part I" of Chapter 25. I think the events should not be split in 2 chapters, so instead I made them a single two-part chapter.

"Jealous" by Labrinth is a BEAUTIFUL song, check it out. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50VWOBi0VFs)

It's about a man who lost his lover to someone else. It fits the story of Sidney/Autumn/Mario very well I find.

Hoped you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think :)

Charlie