AUTUMN LEAVES

I've been staring at the edge of the water
'Long as I can remember, never really knowing why
I wish I could be the perfect daughter
But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try
Every turn I take, every trail I track
Every path I make, every road leads back
To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be

On the other side of the world, Autumn stood barefoot on the sand, waves of the Pacific crashing at her feet and the wind blowing her long hair. She glanced over her shoulder to where Shona was singing beautifully to the small crowd that gathered in front of her surfing school and beach shack. People sipped on Mai Tai and Blue Hawaii. Couples swayed to the music carelessly while others danced their hearts out.

Autumn contemplated her new life, that “turned-over new leaf”, resigning to the fact that it will never feel complete. A young tanned man with long dark hair and a surfer body smiled and waved at her. People in Hawaii did not have much inhibition. If a guy liked her, he had no problem showing it. She waved back but couldn’t force a smile at the man she frequently saw at their beach.

I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island
Everything is by design
I know everybody on this island has a role on this island
So maybe I can roll with mine
I can lead with pride, I can make us strong
I'll be satisfied if I play along
But the voice inside sings a different song
What is wrong with me?

See the light as it shines on the sea? It's blinding
But no one knows, how deep it goes
And it seems like it's calling out to me, so come find me
And let me know, what's beyond that line, will I cross that line?

Autumn was lost in thought when she heard Shona call her.

“Lizzie! I’m all done here. We should close before more people show up. Are you hungry?” Shona yelled as she locked the shack door. When Autumn did not respond, Shona joined her side.

“When are you gonna stop calling me that?” Autumn asked annoyed.

“Never, because your real name is Elizabeth. Besides, what kind of name is Autumn?”

Taking a deep breath, Autumn ignored Shona’s comment and gazed at the horizon, where the ocean met the sky. “Do you ever wonder about the purpose of it all?” she asked.

“Are we being poetic now?”

“The wind, the waves, us, everything has an ending. So why would God, or whoever it is, bother to create any of it in the first place?”

Shona sighed, “I could go on and on about how it is all about the journey and not the ending, but until you get that man out of your head, you won’t see all the good things that surround you, Liz. Isn’t it time to forget about him already? It’s been months. I’m sure he’s moved on. Look at Maleko, he is crazy about you, and you don’t even give him the time of day,” Shona said as she lifted Autumn’s chin up.

“There’s so much more to life than what you’re thinking about right now,” Shona added as she moved Autumn’s hair away from her face. “Take me for example. All those years, I thought that I would never see you again. I thought it would be impossible to earn your forgiveness. But look at me now. Everything happens for a reason, we are all destined for both the good and the bad. It’s up to us to decide what to focus our energy on. The wind, the waves, the earth – they tie us all together in this world. Waves will rise and fall, the earth will shift, the wind will die only to be born again. Just like you, my beautiful girl. You will wake up one day to see that reality is not so bad.”

“So your dreamcatcher is useless in this world, is that it, mom?” Autumn chuckled softly as she wiped a tear that escaped at her mother’s wisdom. Shona was a living example of how a person could turn their life around. She went from being an 18-year old drug addict who gave away her child, to a peaceful, happy singer and surfing teacher on one of the most beautiful coasts in the world – with her daughter at her side. “You will figure it out, give it some time, honey,” Shona added as they headed for their cars.

As Autumn drove away in her white Tesla, her mother’s words echoed in her mind. “You will wake up one day to see that reality is not so bad.”

As her dreamcatcher did its usual dance, Autumn looked around her only to realize that she must have zoned out and was on a street she did not recognize. Doing a U-turn, she started driving towards the house.

Glancing at the dreamcatcher again, she saw it bouncing wildly, signaling how fast she was driving. As she adjusted the feathers, Sidney appeared in her rearview mirror. He was leaning casually on a parked car, his arms crossed over his tight black polo. Her breath caught in her throat. With her eyes fixated on his reflection, she pushed hard on the breaks right in the middle of a busy intersection.

What happened next may have been a recipe for a tragic story. But when Autumn collapsed with that Coca-Cola truck, her pains and sorrows were washed away all at once. Her life did not end, on the contrary – it had just begun.

Notes

I know it's been a long time since the last update, but I was on vacation (so I'm not that sorry LOL). Thanks for all the feedback and for reading this story. Stay tuned for more, coming up soon :D

Cheers,
Charlie