Diary Of A Puck Bunny
The Rules Of Being a Puck Bunny
The Rules Of Being a Puck Bunny:
There is no real list of rules to become a puck bunny. It's just something girls makeup to make themselves seem more important than the WAGs so to speak. It's all the same, we hook up with the same guys. In similar places but the only difference is that it's all one big secret at the end of the night. Which come to think of it, was never really a secret, to begin with.
If I were to break down the term puck bunny I would do something like...Just someone hockey players pass around like they do a puck and nowhere near a Playboy bunny. But all the same, some girl used for the pleasure of others.
See it’s not even a real term and Urban Dictionary is a joke at a term like this.
I guess I can list a few of my own rules.
1. It is okay to have a type of guy you want to hook up with as long as your standards aren't too high.(e.g. Sidney Crosby, Patrick Sharp, Tyler Seguin, and Andre Burakovsky)
2. Always look your best around the opposite sex
a. or same sex, I don't judge.
3. Never wear too much or too little makeup, ONE layer of foundation will do, NEVER lipstick always lipgloss (Unless you have mat lipstick), and if you contour your face get a REAL friends opinion, NOT someone who is a puck bunny.
4. You are in this alone, yes it is okay to have friends but those other girls at bars are your strongest competition. It’s like the Olympics of being a puck bunny.
5. This is a personal rule but I NEVER spend the night with them. Normally they will fall asleep or will just walk me to the door and I’ll leave. If they do fall asleep I’ll find something and write my Instagram username or number so they can reach out while I’m still in that city.
a. I don't have a rule about them spending the night at my place though.
6. When at a bar wear your sexiest, tightest dress that really accentuates your features.
7. If you are someone who likes to drink before hooking up with a guy give yourself a drink maximum so you aren’t that girl who halfway through passes out and nothing ends up happening.
8. If you do go to games to hook up with the players and not watch the game, dress warmly because it is cold but wear a top that shows cleavage but can still look hot when you have a jacket to keep you warm for the duration of the game.
a. I do not go to hockey games to hook up with the guys. If a guy from the team comes up to me at some bar and recognizes me. I make up some lie about a friend making me go. I hate to do the act dumb thing but it really works at times.
b. Don't always pull the dumb act because hockey players do talk.
9. If you are like me and are short, wear a pair of high heels. Wear ones that you can actually walk in because although it is sexy when they carry you it’s kind of like you're in some early 2000’s rom-com. So, heels, three inches and up but nothing over 6” and yes, they do exist.
10. If you are one of those girls who keeps all of the phone numbers of the guys she hooks up with, have it be under some cute or sexy nickname because guys in the NHL tend to have the same first name (And last name, those Staal Brothers) unless your like Sidney Crosby (GOD that man’s ass).
11. Make sure your Instagram is private, so they have to actually pay attention if you allow for them to follow you. It’s a cute way to play cat and mouse.
12. Have NEW sexy pictures on your phone at all times and put them under safe keeping. You don’t want those things to be any more public than they already are.
a. If you choose to have two Instagrams, one for messaging those drop-dead gorgeous guys and another for cute family photos. Trust me it makes life so much easier.
b. And you don't have to worry about your family members finding out about you supposed sex life and wondering if everyone at the dinner table is talking about you.
Rules for Messaging them:
1. Terms like “Hey cutie.” get old kind of fast because everyone uses them now, spice it up with something new.
a. Although I don’t recommend sending Auston Matthews a “Hey Papi” unless you're into that and you know he is too, sending it is a great way to find out, though I wouldn’t recommend it.
2. DON’T just send a naked selfie, because then they have gotten the goods without doing any real work.
3. Emojis are a good way of being subtle but no eggplant emoji and then peach followed by a kiss.
4. Start with a halfway complete dirty message (Never mention their name in the text, it gives it away) then send it then send a quick, “That wasn’t meant for you.” It sends off a message that you know what you're doing but that you're not desperate.
a. If you act embarrassed about it they will think it's genuinely an accident and you didn't do it to get in their pants.(Note: Some guys may ask so be ready for questions.)
5. Wait for them to talk to you. Unless they are one of those guys who will like your pictures and never talk to you.
6. It is COMPLETELY okay for you to follow. It shows that you are interested.
a. Just don’t follow all of the single guys in the League, they will know something's up or just ask their friends/teammates about you.
Not every rule is to be followed, every girl has a different approach and if there is one that works for you then stick to it. No one guy is the same. So it may take a few guys to really get you started. Some of these are rules to live by.
Next time I’m going to tell you all about my first hook up with one of the NHL’s most talked about and hottest guys. Can you guess who it is?
Au Revoir
