Falling Fast and Breathing Hard

Time passed by quickly and it was time for the playoffs. Kalea and I were set to watch the game with Vero and the other WAGs in the box; I couldn't have been more excited.

"Alors, comment sont les autres?" Vero asked. (So, how is everybody?)

"Grande, outre Kalea ayant érythème fessier, il ya quelques jours. Que diriez-vous et Marc?" (Great, besides Kalea having diaper rash a few days ago. How about you and Marc?)

"Très bon. Juste le même vieux, même vieux." (Pretty good. Just the same old, same old.)

I nodded.

"Alors, quand pensez-vous et le plan Kris sur le démarrage de la planification du mariage?" (So, when do you and Kris plan on starting planning the wedding?)

"Je ne sais pas. Peut-être trois, quatre, voire cinq mois à partir de maintenant. Fondamentalement, quand je perds plus de mon poids de bébé." (I don't know. Maybe three, four, even five months from now. Basically, when I lost most of baby weight.)

"Ooh... Je ne peux pas attendre pour la planification de commencer! Tu vas me laisser aider, non?" (I can't wait for the planning to start! You're gonna let me help, right?)

"Bien sûr. Vous ne pouvez pas planifier sans vous!" (Of course. Can't plan it without you!)

She laughed and hugged me.

"Vous savez, je ne sais pas comment je vais m'habituer à être Mme Athena Letang, une fois que ces mots sont dits." (You know, I don't know how I'm gonna get used to being Mrs. Athena Letang, once those words are said.)

"Je ne sais pas si quelqu'un a jamais s'habitue à être Mme Peu importe. Évidemment, je ne peux pas dire cela pour moi, mais j'imagine que c'est comme ça." (I don't know if anyone ever gets used to being Mrs. Whatever. Obviously, I can't say that for myself, but I imagine that's how it is.)

"Vous et Marc êtes déjà pratiquement marié, mais je sais ce que vous parlez, quand même. Qu'en pensez-vous, Miss Kalea?" I said turning to Kalea. (You and Marc are already practically married, but I know what you're talking about, nonetheless.)

She giggled.

"I love you." I said, kissing her cheek.

"May I pick her up?"

"Of course."

She easily picked her up as she was between us in her adorable pink and purple stroller.

"Hi cutie." she said before tickling Kalea.

She laughed up a storm. I don't know if I've ever heard a child laugh as much as her or any person for that matter.

"Does she always laugh this much?" Vero asked, laughing herself.

"Usually. That kid is happy most of the time."

"Well, her dad is part clown."

"Yeah. That's for sure."

Soon enough, the game started and we were hushed. It turned out to be quite the thriller as Kovy, Asham and Kuni scored while Flower put on a beautiful display the entire time, shutting out the Bolts. Afterward, the boys went out for drinks as I headed home to put my baby girl in her crib for the night. After I did, I got ready for bed and laid down to read a book until my eyes got droopy, which wasn't long. I woke up to an empty bed which wasn't odd, not in the slightest. When I found Kalea still in her crib, however, it was odd and I was worried; the man hadn't texted me at all nor did he call me. She fussed when I got her up which was an odd thing too.

Did she know that something was up?

"Sweetheart, is there something wrong?"

She began crying.

Something definitely is.

I placed her in my arms and walked downstairs; he wasn't there either. My heart raced as I began to panic and paced in the living room and in the kitchen. Before I did anything, I bathed and dressed my girl; I got a bottle out to feed her as I called my fiancé. He didn't answer till the final ring.

"Hello?" he asked, yawning.

"Hey Kris." I said irritatedly.

"Athena? What's wrong?"

"Uh... how about you not texting me or calling me?" I said,getting louder.

"Oh... fuck. Sorry."

Sorry? Really?

"Sorry? That's all you have to say? You know how rare it is when Kalea is fussing and crying when I wake her up? It's happened... maybe once. Once, Kris. Once!"

"Stop screaming at me! I'll talk to you when I get home. I'm getting my stuff now."

"Where are you?"

"Marc and Vero's."

-click-

He hung up on me? What the fuck?! He's the one who did wrong!

I rubbed my eyes before I placed my daughter back in my arms and fed her.

"Kalea? What do you want to do about Daddy? I'm very mad at him right now."

She just got more comfortable as I fed her. While I waited for him, I watched tv and ate cereal as I texted Vero.

Kris is an asshole.

I got an instant answer.

Why's he an asshole?

He didn't text me or call me last night. I had to call him earlier.

Did you rip him a new one?

You bet I did. Gonna rip him a bigger one when he gets home, though. I told him about how upset Kalea was this morning and how rare it was.

Fucker. What did he say?

Besides sorry? When I asked him where he was, he said he was at you and Marc's house. The man also had the nerve to hang up after he told me that! Can you believe that shit?

He has no fucking right! He never got a hold of you! Let me know how it goes, k?

Of course. Bye.

Bye.

The second I heard the door open, I was ready to throw something at him.

"Athena?" he asked hesitantly walking in front of me.

"Kris." I address sternly.

He had the nerve to sit beside and place his hand on my leg.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I said, pushing his hand away.

"Athena, seriously. Let's talk."

"Yeah. Let's talk."

"Ok."

"Ok. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you text or call me? I was panicking this morning and our daughter... well, I already told you how she was."

"This is gonna sound ridiculous, but I was drunk off my ass and didn't wanna come home. Honestly, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't have been drunk off your ass anyway! You have responsibilities! Responsibility as a father to our 2 1/2 week old daughter, to me... aka your family. You have your responsibilities on the ice, and you have ones at home. Getting drunk like that and not letting me know where you are is not acceptable. So, please, get your goddamn priorities straight, 'cause I don't put up with shit like this. Okay? You understand?" I said with tears coming down my face toward the end.

"I understand. I'm an idiot because of that. I won't do it again; I promise. I love you and Kalea way too much and don't wanna lose you two."

I let out a huge sigh. Looking at his face, I could see how sad and genuine he was; it was a look I had never seen from him before. I needed a moment.

Should I forgive him right away or... ugh... fuck. What the fuck do I do?

I was like this for five minutes with my head in my hands. I then lifted my head and turned to look at him.

"Kris?"

"Yes?" he asked, looking straight into my eyes.

Those eyes...

"I forgive you, but you're not completely off the hook. I'm still mad at you."

"Thank goodness. I love you." he said, hugging me.

"I love you too." I said into his shoulder.

I didn't want to let go. His hold on me grew stronger; he didn't want to either. After another good five minutes, we pulled apart. He went in for a kiss, but I denied him.

"You still smell like alcohol. Go shower and then we'll talk about a kiss and you can see Kalea when you're done; when you're clean."

He nodded and went off to shower. She fussed again when he walked right pass her.

"He'll be back. He just needs to shower 'cause he's stinky." I said, plugging my nose and making a face.

She got a kick out of that.

"That's my girl." I said, kissing her on the cheek.

Fifteen minutes passed until he came back into the living room smelling amazingly good and looking clean. Giggles emitted from Kalea as he picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you, baby girl."

I smiled.

He sat down beside me again.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey." I said, smiling.

He placed his hand on my leg, but I didn't move it this time; instead, I took his hand in mine. He went in for a kiss again, and I did the same thing.

"I may be holding your hand and I may have let you hold me, but I'm not quite ready for you to kiss me."

"Ok. I can wait."

"You're gonna have to."

"I'll wait as long as I have to."

A single tear ran down my face.

He's perfect.

I texted Vero shortly before I took my nap that afternoon telling her that things went well and that I'd talk to her tomorrow. I had him make dinner as part of his punishment, even though he probably would've done that anyway. By this time, I still hadn't kiss him nor did I let him kiss me, but I had to admit, it was beginning to kill me; I really wanted his lips on mine. As I got ready for bed that night as did Kris, I decided that he was free to kiss me whenever; I hoped it would be before we went to bed. I was brushing my teeth when I heard him walk in; he was still in there when I was done. I took a deep breath before I turned around to talk to him.

"Kris?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned around after he shut the closet door.

"You're free to kiss me. It's been killing me the past six hours. I miss your lips."

He laughed.

"It's been killing me too."

I stood on my tippy-toes as he pulled me toward him and placed his lips on mine and kissed me rather passionately as did I.

"Je'taime." I said. (I love you.)

"Je'taime aussi. Toujours and toujours." (I love you too. Forever and always.)

"Toujours and toujours." I said before going in for another kiss. (Forever and always.)

Serve God, love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised, we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
You know me
You know me

But man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing

Love; it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be

There is a design, an alignment to cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Love; it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be

There is a design, an alignment to cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Love; it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be

And there is a design, an alignment to cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Notes

Chapter title and lyrics courtesy of Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons.