Falling Fast and Breathing Hard

It's just three days before our first Thanksgiving as an entire family and with five games scattered throughout eighteen days, I couldn't be happier that they have three straight games at home before leaving Friday night after the game against the Habs. Today also happens to be the day that Sidney Crosby steps back onto the ice for the first time in ten-and-a-half months; I couldn't be happier and neither could Kris. Luckily, I get him all to myself until he has to leave for their game against the Islanders.

"How are you feeling?" I said just a minute after he woke up.

"Fantastic. I couldn't be more excited about tonight. Sid's coming back."

He was grinning like a little kid; it was adorable. I smiled and kissed him.

"I love how cute you are right now."

"I am not cute." he said, rolling his eyes.

"Sure, you aren't." I said, laughing.

"Am I cute now?"

He pulled me on top of him and began kissing me... really kissing me.

"Not anymore."

I couldn't stop smiling as he made a face, so I buried my head into his neck. He laughed and held onto me tighter.

"How are you feeling about tonight?"

"Pretty damn excited. This game is gonna be great. I just know it."

"You do?"

"I do."

"How do you know?"

"You of all people should know this. He's Sidney Crosby. Duh."

I laughed again before he kissed me again.

"You're a real smartie pants. You know that?"

"I think so." I said, biting my lip.

"Are you ready to get up?"

"Definitely."

I felt so refreshed and couldn't feel better about that. Kalea seemed to feel pretty damn good herself and I couldn't ask for more. After a quick shower and a great breakfast, we all decided to spend time together in the living room. Kris had her in his lap where she was dancing, I guess you could say, to what was playing on the tv.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked, smiling at her.

She simply giggled.

"You are way too happy."

She continued to giggle.

"I love you. Can Mommy have a kiss?"

She did kiss me, but then she was trying to get out of his lap.

"What do you want? Me?"

She made a noise that sounded like one of protest.

"Wanna go on the carpet?" I said, looking up at Kris with a confused look on my face.

"I don't know."

After another moment, she struggled more and reached for the carpet.

"Let her go."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He carefully sat her down and we kept wondering why she wanted on the floor. Kalea answered our question when we saw her get on her knees and began to crawl.

"Get my phone!" I said.

My phone which was right beside him was quickly in his hands and the camera was on. I moved to one end of the carpet while he moved to the other.

"Hi there, cutie." I said.

"Hi, baby girl."

She let out a giggle.

"Where are you headed?" he asked.

She looked both ways and we couldn't help but smile. After a moment, she made a right turn and began crawling toward Kris.

"Slide the phone over!" I whispered.

And with one swift motion, I had the phone and kept it on what was happening.

"Come here. Come to Daddy."

She kept giggling as she made her way to him.

"That's my girl! Great job, Kalea!" he said, picking her up and raising her up into the air.

She kept on giggling, and to tell you the truth, I began tearing up.

"Hi Kalea! That was amazing! Great job!"

She giggled and tried to get out of his arms.

"Wanna see Mommy?"

She nodded.

"Ok. I'm gonna let you go."

That's when I decided to slide my phone and let him control the camera. She seemed to pick up speed when she began crawling over to me.

"You're almost there, Kalea! You can do it."

Just six seconds later, she reached me and I raised her up like Kris did.

"I love you! You did so good! You did great!"

I kissed her cheek and she touched both of my cheeks.

"Do you like my cheeks?" I asked, laughing.

She simply continued to laugh.

Less than a minute later, she began to yawn.

"Are you sleepy?" I asked.

She yawned again.

"What time is it?"

"Around one." Kris answered, kneeling beside me.

"Looks like it's time for your nap."

She snuggled into my shoulder as I stood up.

"She is seriously too precious." I said.

"You can definitely say that again." he said, kissing her cheek.

"I might go and nap as well. Do you mind?"

"Of course not. You go nap. I'll be up."

"You're so sweet. I love you."

"I love you too. I love you, Kalea."

She was already asleep. I guess the little princess wore herself out. After I laid her down for her nap, I went to go lay down for mine. An hour-and-a-half later, I woke to incessant crying. I threw off the covers and dashed down the hall. I checked her nursery, but she wasn't there. Kris was on the floor with Kalea, apparently trying to calm her down.

"What happened?" I asked, rushing to his side.

"She fell off the couch."

"Fell off the couch?! Where were you?"

I was in complete panic mode.

"I was right beside her. I turned to grab my phone when she fell."

"You should've kept an eye on her. I know where you sit your phone."

As angry as I was, I turned on mother-mode and tended to Kalea.

"Hi, baby girl. It's alright. You're gonna be okay." I said, stroking her cheek.

The cries turned into sobs, so I was thankful that I was beginning to calm her down.

"Athena, I'm sorry."

"Don't wanna hear it. All I wanna hear is if she's hurt or not."

"She's fine."

"Thank you. Now, just go away."

"Athena."

"Kristopher."

"Whatever. I love you, Kalea." he said, kissing her cheek.

He walked away and she finally stopped crying.

"I told you that you'd be okay." I said, tickling her.

She giggled which instantly lifted my mood.

"Wanna sit on Mommy's lap?"

She nodded, so I proceeded to pick her up and sit her in my lap. Come four o'clock, I sat Kalea in her high chair, so I could watch her while I cooked dinner. As much as I didn't want to cook for him, I wanted to cook for everyone. Ten minutes passed when I heard him come down the steps.

"Athena?" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

"What?" I said in a surprisingly non-irritated voice.

"Can we talk?"

"Not now. I'm making dinnèr."

"Then, when?"

"I don't know, Kris."

"I'd like to do it before I leave."

Are you kidding me? Just make me angrier, why don't you?

I gripped the spatula tighter and was ready to throw it at him, but I restrained myself because Kalea shouldn't see anything like that in her life, especially this early. She doesn't need it and should be lucky, unlike her mother who experienced it herself from when she was fifteen until she was twenty.

I was sixteen and had just come home from spending the night at my best friend's house. It was around noon and I went into the kitchen to make myself lunch. After looking around and not seeing my mom or her relatively new husband; they have been married for just over a year during this time. My stepdad isn't exactly a lovable and fun person, while my dad was the complete opposite and who I had lost when I was only thirteen. I hate my stepdad with a deep passion, but I try my hardest to not show my hatred for him because, quite frankly, I'm scared of him. When I was halfway up the stairs to look for them, I heard a screaming match between the two of them. I cautiously ventured to their bedroom, seeing as I was completely and utterly terrified.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Marianne?! Why didn't you wake me up earlier? You know that I have things to do today!"

That's such a petty thing. Why are you even yelling at my mom like that?!

"I'm sorry. I just thought you needed the sleep. You were so exhausted when you came home from work last night." she said on the verge of tears.

It was true. He wakes up at five Monday through Friday and comes home at six.

"I don't fucking care! I always get enough sleep, you dumb bitch!"

That's when he hit her.

I've had it.

"You have no right to yell at her like that. You also have no right to hit her!"

He came over and pushed me up against the wall as my head it hard and he smacked me right across the face.

"Shut up, you little bitch. I'll do whatever the fuck I want."

I began to cry.

"How dare you! She's my daughter!"

"Shut up! And you shut up too, Athena. Stop your fucking crying."

I was in a state of shock and scared out of my fucking mind. That was the first time, at least that I noticed, he ever hit her. I had no idea what was gonna happen next and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I just wanted to go back to when my dad was alive and healthy and everything was perfect.

I stood there in shock; I've never even told him about that incident. I only told him about what kind of person he was, but I've never went into complete detail with him.

"Athena?"

No response.

"Athena? Are you okay?" he asked, touching my arm.

I turned to him and he wrapped his arms around me while I sobbed into his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"He hit me." I said through sobs.

I hated that Kalea was seeing her mom like this.

"Who hit you? When?"

"Ronnie when I was 16."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I guess I just blocked it out. He hit my mom too."

"Why?"

"He was yelling at her for not waking him up earlier since he had things to do. I confronted him and then he pushed me into a wall where he knocked me into the wall and hit me."

He then turned off the stove.

"Kris! I'm cooking!"

"I don't want it to burn."

"You have to eat! You have a game."

I started to cry again which prompted him to wrap his arms around me even tighter.

"We'll just order something. Ok? You're too upset right now."

"Okay. Anyway... I forgive you."

"What I did earlier was so stupid. I was an idiot. It shouldn't have happened. Why are you forgiving me now?"

"I was ready to hit you, but after I had that flashback, I knew Kalea didn't need to see that."

"Thank you. I'll never do that again. I was honestly so scared that she was hurt."

"Promise?'

"Promise."

"I love you." I said, kissing him.

"I love you too." he said, kissing me back.

There was a small moment of wonderful silence as he hugged me and I hugged him back.

"So, how about I order dinner and you go sit with Kalea?"

"Sounds good." I said, smiling.

I then turned to Kalea.

"Sorry about that, baby girl."

"Mama." she said, smiling.

Did she- did she just say her first word?

"Did you hear her?"

"No. What did she say?"

"Kalea, what did you say?"

After about ten seconds, she said 'mama' again.

"Oh my goodness. Wow. This is amazing. Crawling and talking on the same day?"

"I'm so proud of you and you're so cute! Do you know that?"

She giggled and smiled. I turned to Kris and we kissed.

"I can't believe how up and down this day has been." I said before he ordered dinner.

"Just wait till tonight. I'm sure it'll end on an amazing note."

Come ten till seven, I was sitting beside Vero in the box with Kalea and the WAGs.

"So, how'd your day go?" Vero asked.

I sighed and shook my head.

"It was crazy."

"What do you mean by crazy?" she said with a laugh.

"Well, I should show you this first."

With a smile, I got my phone out and found the video of Kalea crawling.

"Oh my God! She is so cute!" she squealed.

"Tell me about it. She had me tearing up before she crawled over to me."

"Je l'aime tellement." (I love her so much.)

"Elle vous aime une tonne." (She loves you a ton.)

"Elle fait?" (She does?)

"Pourquoi ferait-elle pas?" (Why wouldn't she?)

She shrugged.

"Je ne sais pas." (I don't know.)

"Vous êtes bizarre." (You're weird.)

She pushed me.

"Regarde qui parle." (Look who's talking.)

I laughed.

"Quoi qu'il en soit, quoi d'autre fait votre journée de fou?" (Anyway, what else made your day crazy?)

"After I took a nap, I woke to Kalea crying up a storm. She had fallen off the couch and Kris was trying to console her."

"Oh my God. How'd that happen? Was she okay?"

"She was perfectly fine. Kris was reaching for his phone when she fell. To say I was angry would be an understatement."

"I would be too. Are you still mad at him?"

"When he came downstairs after his nap, I was cooking. He wanted to talk and I didn't know when I wanted to. He said he wanted to do it before he left."

"He did not."

"He did and I was ready to throw my spatula at him, but I didn't."

"Why didn't you?"

"'Cause of Kalea and a flashback I had."

"A flashback?"

"Have I ever told you about my ex-stepfather?"

"Yeah. You told me about the time he came with your mom to visit. Why?"

"I had a flashback to when I was sixteen."

I went on to tell her about it and the moments afterward.

"That is crazy and ridiculous. I couldn't even imagine that happening to you, let alone me."

"Yeah. I'm just glad that's never gonna happen again."

"So, all is good?"

"All is great. Kalea did something else. She said her first word."

"Qu'est-ce qu'elle fait?" (What'd she say?)

"Elle a dit son premier mot." (She said her first word.) I said, smiling.

"Aww... Qu'est-ce qu'elle dit?" (What'd she say?) she said, getting excited.

"Mama."

"Oh mon Dieu! C'est tellement adorable!" (Oh my God! That is so adorable!)

"Tell me about it! Two milestones in a single day!"

She hugged me so tightly that I had to laugh.

Several minutes later, Consol became dark and the music for them begin to play. I was on the edge of my seat as I watched them skate onto the ice, especially when Kris and Sid came onto the ice. The building was so loud, it was practically shaking and people throughout were carrying signs saying, 'Welcome Back, Sid.' The feeling was so amazing; I don't what I can even compare it to.

"This is so amazing." I whispered.

I looked to Kalea who was sitting in Vero's lap. She was so happy and was looking all around.

"Do you see her right now?"

She turned her head to see her face.

"She's so precious."

"I don't know the last time I've seen her this happy."

"I know this so long away, but have you two thought about putting her on skates?"

I smiled. Kris and I haven't actually talked about it, but I think it's a great idea.

"To be honest, we haven't discussed it, but I'd love for us... him to teach her how to skate."

"It wouldn't surprise me if he did."

"I agree. He's gonna be so damn protective though."

I loved talking about this like it was gonna happen any day now just about as much as I loved watching the game... maybe more. It was certainly a day and night to remember for both good and unfortunately bad reasons.

Notes

Chapter title courtesy of Blessed by Martina McBride.