Falling Fast and Breathing Hard

After a month, I settled down more and things were going better than they have ever been in my entire life. The Penguins had been eliminated in the second round in a Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens, which meant that would be the last game to ever be played in the Mellon Arena. Kris was bummed but sort of relieved because he had more time to relax during the summer. I haven't heard from my mom since over a month ago and I was beginning to think that I should call her and just pray that Ronnie wouldn't pick up her phone and answer it. In case that would happen, I was hoping that Kris would be sitting beside to comfort me and/or speak with my step-father. Kris and I's relationship had gotten much stronger and my trust with him was rock solid, but when it came to a more... oh, I don't know... more sexual/romantic relationship. I was not emotionally nor mentally ready for that type of relationship. He understands, yet I cannot help but feel awkward about it. I should be able to face this and go that far; I'm twenty years old and I should be more carefree. I simply don't know and I am a confused young woman who can't figure out what she wants her life to mean. What brought me out of my train of thought was my loving boyfriend, who was lightly shaking my shoulder.

"Athena?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?" he asked with his hand on my shoulder.

I touched his hand before I spoke a single word.

"Simply? My life." I answered with a sigh.

He sat down beside me and turned towards my face.

"What exactly about your life?" he inquired.

I began to tear up at this moment.

"Not talking to my mom and wanting to talk to her. I'm afraid that my step-father is gonna answer if I call. I don't exactly know who I am and... um..."

I scratched my head and turned away from him.

"What don't you want to tell me?"

He moved so he was sitting right in front of me. Now, there was no way to get away from him.

"It's embarrassing." I whined.

"Really? That's the reason? Athena! You can trust me with anything you tell me!"

"I know that, but it's difficult for me to talk about. Okay Kris?! Leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled in his face.

I was fuming and when I tried to pull away, he grabbed a hold of my wrists.

"Athena Sky Halloway! You are not running away! You cannot run away from your problems!"

He was getting red in the face as well.

"Could you please let go of your vice grip? It's starting to hurt."

And he did.

"Sorry."

"You better be."

"You are such a bitch, you know that?"

"Yeah. I know." I said with a heavy sigh.

"So...what else is on your mind?"

"I was thinking of the majority of twenty-something year old women are at least semi-sexually active at this point in a romantic relationship. I'm still trying to find myself and deal with tragedy and my family issues."

He deeply sighed, licked his lips and rubbed his temple before he spoke.

"Just to let you know, I have absolutely no problem with us not having sex by or at this point in our relationship. I understand the issues that you're having. I'm perfectly fine with that fact."

"Thanks for understanding. You're the best! May I have a hug?"

"Of course."

He gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, you know that." he said.

"I could say the same exact thing." I said.

He smiled and sat beside me on the unbelievably comfortable couch.

"Is there anything you'd like to do today?"

I shrugged, but seconds later, something came to my mind, yet when I truly thought about it, I was unsure if I was ready to do it.

"I changed my mind. I want to call my mom."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Will you stay here with me while I call?" I asked.

"Yeah. I will."

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed the oh-so familiar number that felt so strange at the same time. After a few rings, a female voice that I instantly recognized as my mother's, answered. I faintly smiled, but it didn't feel like one.

"Hi, Mom!" I said cheerfully.

"Hi, honey. Why has it been so long since you've called? I've missed you!"

I felt terrible because of that.

"I missed you too and this is gonna sound terrible, but I was afraid Ronnie was going to answer when I called. You know how I feel about him."

My voice was laced with the utmost guilt. Kris squeezed my hand.

"Oh honey... you shouldn't worry about him. I'll straighten him out."

"Mom. You know how he is! You can't change him."

"But..."

"But nothing! He's an... pardon my language, but he's an asshole, who will never ever change his ways."

"I can't believe you! I am... speechless. You don't know the side that I know... he's a sweetheart!" she sounded unsure.

"You have to be kidding me. He's a mean-spirited person. He has treated me like shit ever since he met me and you know that. He'll never be like dad!"

I was sobbing by this point; Kris held me in his arms.

"I am so sorry, hun. Can I come up to see you soon?"

She was crying as well.

"Yes! How about this Wednesday? My boyfriend wants to meet you."

Kris hugged me tighter and kissed my neck, making me giggle.

"Sounds wonderful and what's his name? Do you want me to come by myself?" she asked with a hint of a smile.

"Yes and his name is Kris." I said excitedly.

"What? No last name?"

"You'll find out when you get here."

"I have one thing to say. I'll do my best, but if he comes... well, he comes." she said sadly at the end.

"Alright. I understand. I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetie."

We hung up and I let out a heavy sigh. I began to relax and I wiped my eyes. I turned to Kris, who kissed me on the cheek and made me giggle once again.

"She's coming over Wednesday, then?"

"With or without the 'enemy'." I said, putting his name in quotation marks.

He laughed briefly.

"Will your mom like me?"

"Yes! That isn't even a question. She can usually tell a good person just by looking at him/her, plus you're such a sweetheart and you have a sexy accent. I almost forgot, you're incredibly attractive." I said, moving closer to his lips.

He smirked and wrapped his arms around my body, kissing me and holding me securely.

"I will never let you go. You mean too much to me for you to leave."

"I don't ever want you to leave me. You are too huge a part of my life for you to disappear out of my life."

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now....and after all, you're my wonderwall."

Notes

Chapter title and lyrics courtesy of Wonderwall by Oasis.