One Breath at a Time

A decade has passed since I first met my future husband and the time has gone by so quickly. Our daughter is nine already while Kris and I have been married close to eight years. The Penguins have won two Stanley Cups also two years in a row which was a wild ride; Kalea and I were there each time they won. Life has never been better and a wild ride that I never want to get off of, but it also has had its setbacks.

Two years ago, I suffered an awful miscarriage at eleven weeks and I was heartbroken. We want to try again, but I am so scared of going through another pregnancy with the possibility of a recurrence. I don’t know what I would have done without the support of my family because I was in a dark place despite the smile I put on everyday; I did have a child to raise after all without whom I would be able to get through and not fall to pieces. Kris has been my rock and I cannot imagine a life without him.

“Good morning.” Kris said.

I barely had my eyes open, but I smiled. He was sitting up in bed already.

“Good morning.” I said groggily.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Okay. You?”

“Good. You can call off work if you’re too tired.”

“I got slightly less than six hours sleep. I can sleep when I get home from work.”

I slowly sat up and he pulled me toward him with his arm around my waist.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Let’s get Kalea up. You know how much she loves her sleep.”

“That I do. I’ll go get her.”

“And I’ll get ready for work.”

He separated from me before pulling me into a kiss.

“I love you.” he said.

“I love you, too.”

I took a quick shower while Kris went into parent mode with Kalea. I heard my name being called when I finished drying my hair.

“Mom!”

I put down my brush and walked out of the bathroom. She came running into my bedroom and seemed to be in a mood.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Could you not call me sweetie? I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“You’re always gonna be my little girl.”

She groaned.

“Can I help you with something?”

“I can’t find my necklace. You know, the one you gave me on my birthday last week?” she said panicking.

Kalea was referring to the necklace my best friend was wearing the day that she passed. She left certain items to me if she happened to lose her battle to leukemia. I never wore it, but I kept it, so I always had a piece of her with me. When it came to her birthday, I thought it would be fitting for her and Rhonda would love it. If Kalea would never have the opportunity to meet who would have been our godmother had she lived, she would have a necklace of hers to remember her by.

“Where did you last have it?” I said, touching her shoulders.

“In my room. Now, it’s gone.”

“I’m sure it’ll turn up.”

“What if it doesn’t? That was Aunt Rhonda’s necklace. You’re gonna be so upset and angry if it doesn’t turn up.”

She started to tear up.

“Kalea. Listen to me. We’ll find it. By the way, that would never upset me or make me angry; it’s not like you did this on purpose.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’ll help you find it.”

“I love you, Mom.” she said, hugging me.

“I love you, too.” I said, hugging her back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kris leaning against the doorframe and smiling.

“You ready for breakfast, Kalea?” he asked.

She wiped her eyes and smiled, unraveling from me.

“Absolutely. I’m starving.” she said, running toward her dad.

“How about you, Mom?”

He repeated with a smirk; I nodded. She ran down the steps while Kris waited for me.

“How much of that conversation did you hear?”

“When you reassured her about Rhonda’s necklace. I love that you gave it to her. A little piece of her aunt is always with her.”

He is way too sweet; I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Qu'as-tu fait?”(What’d you make?)

“La première chose que je t'ai faite pendant que tu étais enceinte de Kalea.”(The first thing I made you while you were pregnant with Kalea.)

I was stuck in thought for a moment.

“Maryland. Sonner des cloches?”(Ring any bells?)

I dashed down the stairs when I found out what it was. Kris laughed when I made it to the kitchen.

“Non, vous ne l'avez pas fait.”(No. You didn’t.)

“J'ai fait.”(I did.)

So, what's for lunch?"

"Is scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and crab good?"

I smiled a huge smile.

"Is it good?"

"It's great! Thanks! I love you." I said kissing his cheek.

The smile on his face was as apparent as mine.

"Great. I'll be right back."

He came back with the same dish with the same drink, orange juice.

"How is it?"

"Delicious.” I said with my mouth full.

“Délicieux comme toujours. Merci."(Delicious as always.)

“Je suis d'accord. Merci, Dad.”(I second that. Thank you.)

Kris has spoken in French to Kalea as have I her entire life, so she would be bilingual like him as that is his native language.

“Rien que le meilleur pour mes filles préférées.” (Nothing but the best for my favorite girls.)

I blushed. He kissed my cheek then went over and kissed hers.

“Dad! Je mange!(I’m eating!)

I laughed. Fifteen minutes later, I was about to leave the house with Kalea.

“Ready to leave?” I called out to Kalea who was upstairs.

“Yeah! I’ll be down in a minute.”

I sat on the couch next to Kris and sighed.

“It’s gonna be a long day.”

“I can always pick you up early if you need me to.”

“I know, but Kris you’re exhausted. I see it in your eyes. I’d feel better if you got some more sleep.”

“You’re right. I’m gonna head back to bed. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Of course.”

I heard her dashing down the steps and I stood up.

“I’m ready, Mom.”

She then turned to Kris.

“Je t’aime, Dad.” she said hugging him.

“Je t’aime, sweetie.”

She kissed his cheek and walked over to me.

“Have a great day, you two.”

“You too.” I said while Kalea waved.

After I dropped her off at school, I headed straight to work. Sitting down at my desk, I saw an alert on my phone; one that would change my family’s lives along with others across the globe forever.

“Fuck.” I said to myself.

I wondered what that would mean for me and my family; I knew it was scary, but I had no idea how bad it would get. At noon, I called Kris.

“Did you see the news?” I asked.

“It’s unavoidable. It’s on every news channel. A global pandemic. Do you think Kalea knows?”

“I have no idea.”

I was at odds with myself.

“I hate that she’s gonna have to deal with this. It’s not fair. She’s only nine.”

“I hate it, too, but I know we’ll get through this as a family.”

Notes