Tell Me What You Want
Do You Need My Gun?
***NOTE: I TALKED WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND HER AND I BOTH DECIDED THAT WE DON'T LIKE HOW THIS CHAPTER GOES, SO I WANTED TO CHANGE THE ENDING. I AM GOING TO HAVE PATRICK FIND OUT HER SECRET A DIFFERENT WAY AND AT A DIFFERENT TIME. I FEEL REALLY BAD BUT I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND NEEDED TO CHANGE IT. IM REALLY SORRY***
***THE NEXT DAY***
I wake up in a much better mood than I have for the past couple of days. Forgetting I had exchanged numbers with Patrick Kane, I got a phone call from a random number. I decided not to answer it afraid it could be a telemarketer or worse, Minnesota family. I did not want to hear from any of them. None of them cared about me, they all wished I had died with my family in the car accident. It made me feel awful inside but I always knew it was true. At Christmas one year my aunt and uncle invited Katie and Paige to go onto a cruise to the Bahamas, and then fly back there and spend a week swimming with dolphins. What did I get? I card that read ‘Merry Christmas! From, Aunt Leah and Uncle Alex’. I know Christmas isn’t supposed to be about presents but still, it hurt not being invited. That was the year I knew I was moving to Chicago.
By the time the phone was done ringing the little chime pulled me out of my thoughts. Oh yippee I could get bashed on how I was stupid for moving to Chicago, not like they really would care anyway. As I listened to the message I could hear guilt in Pats voice. The voicemail went something like this “Hey Ash, I’m sorry I kind of forgot to give you my number and you even told me that you don’t answer to numbers you don’t know. Well anyway can’t wait to see you on your first day as a Blackhawk employee! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get lunch or something. Um yeah so call or text me back. I would prefer you to call though because yeah, so yeah. Okay this is getting long, okay bye Ashley.” And with that he hung up. I knew I should call him back, but waited a little too long and as I was about to hit the ‘call back’ button I was rudely interrupted by Katie.
“You like him!” Katie screamed which made me blush.
“Shhhh! Luke and Paige are sleeping” I whisper yelled.
“You are so gullible. They both already left! Paige went shopping. Said she needed a new outfit including, purse, shoes, dress and a phone case” Katie was naming everything off and started to slur her words at the end when she saw my phone light up with the name ‘Patrick Kane’. I started to blush but pushed my phone aside before Katie could answer it.
“Fuck you, if you’re not going to answer it I will!” Katie says reaching across my lap on the couch but I throw my phone down my shirt. “Fuck you” she mumbles under her breath.
I walk out on the balcony to take in how beautiful Chicago is. I grab my phone out of my sports bra to call pat back to see a text from him.
PAT: You haven’t answered my calls! Did I already do something to piss you off! Anyway it is still kind of early so if you wake up and see this call me back like ASAP!
ASHLEY: first time you called I didn’t know it was you… second time my friend was being a bitch and tackled me on the couch for my phone, minor details after that.
PAT: haha okay sounds good. So you got my voicemail?
ASHLEY: I would love to go to lunch or something tell me when and where and I will be there!
PAT: yay! So I know it’s not very classy but I’m craving a deep dish Ginos East pizza. I’ll pick you up around 12:30.
ASHLEY: it’s all good I have been craving that or Italian beefs from Portillos since I got here!
PAT: wow. True Chicagoan right there. Portillos is the best place for beefs.
ASHLEY: Why yes it is my friend. Well I gotta go, see you in a little while! Can’t wait ;)
PAT: Bye Ashley ;)
As my conversation ended with Patrick I decided to just stand over the railing of my apartment. It was a gorgeous summer day in Chicago and I had a perfect view of Lincoln Park. My apartment was high up and not very nice but in a nice area. My parents left all the money to me so I had a good amount saved up to get a good 3-4 bedroom apartment, meanwhile I still had to think of how I was going to pay off my student loans. The next thing I know I look over and see Luke standing next to me to pull me out of my thoughts.
“So what’s the guy’s name?” Luke asks suspiciously.
“How do you know it’s a guy?” I ask looking at Luke and he turns his head and laughs then leans on the balcony railing with me.
“I know my cousin. Whenever it’s a guy she just wants to be outside and look into nature and think how her life could be different.” Luke says sweetly. He was right though, every time I ever liked a guy or broken up with a guy all I wanted to do was be outside, by myself.
“You’re the best cousin ever” I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around Lukes back. He just laughed, then sighed. Now it was my turn to be the best cousin in the world.
“What’s wrong?” I ask looking over and seeing his face become red and tears start to collect in his eyes. He turned to look at the brick wall next to him, then the next thing I know he grabbed my arms and pulled me into him.
“I am being scouted to play for the capitals Ashley.” I didn’t see why that was a bad thing. It’s not like her hated the capitals, but they weren’t his favorite team.
“What’s so bad about that?” I ask then he starts to sob. I rubbed his back as best I could, he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and just cried. He couldn’t stop, but he wouldn’t tell me what was so bad.
Once we broke apart from our hug, which seemed like a century, he leaned over the railing and let his head drop like he was ashamed of something. I started to rub his back again and he calmed down a little more.
I forgot I had a date with Patrick and he seemed to show up when Luke was at his breaking point. I sat outside for another 10 minutes and rubbed Lukes back and he explained to me why he was so upset.
“Do you really think I’m just going to stop talking to you?” I said surprised by Luke’s words.
“Yeah, I mean you stopped talking to everyone in Minnesota, except for my parents. You got all pissed at me for changing you list, and you don’t even have a dog. This place allows pets you know! I thought it was your and your dads dream to get a golden retriever? Now is your chance, have something that will remind you of your dream. Do something your parents wanted you to do, besides go to college and move out.” Luke said sensitively because he knows how sensitive I am and if he starts yelling I’m going to start crying.
“Luke I love our family in Minnesota, it’s just they don’t like me. I always only showed the nice birthday card, some of them were awful. I never told anyone this not even Paige, but one year I got a birthday card saying it should have been me in that car accident and not my brothers and parents. It said a lot more hurtful things to, but the end is what really got to me. I said and I quote ‘You might as well kill yourself because no one in Minnesota loves you anymore and I sure as hell know no one Chicago does either. Everyone only liked your brothers and parents and we all thought you should have never been born. KILL YOURSELF’. Luke that might have been the worst birthday eve-.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I just exploded right there in Lukes arms. He thought he might as well join in on the sob fest, so we both stood there motionless and just cried. About a minute later Paige and Katie came outside and Luke gave me another hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek, then made his way inside.
Katie and Paige just hugged me as I stood there sobbing my eyes out remembering every little detail of my past. The past I wanted to forget. It followed me everywhere I went. I moved to Chicago to forget it and move on. The next thing I know I just collapse to the ground and pull my knees up to my chest, and bury my head in my legs. That was Katie and Paige’s cue to leave, so they did. I sat in that position for about two minutes then turned my head to face the park. I checked my phone and remembered I had a date with Patrick, and I was late for it. I look in the middle of the screen and see one missed call from Aunt Leah. “YOU TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF!” I scream as I chuck my phone at the chair next to me.
After about 5 minutes I get up and walk inside to where everyone is sitting and watching TV. When I walk in everybody gets up and comes to give me hug which makes me cry again. Gosh why am I crying so much? Why do I always bottle up my emotions and then ruin something that’s important to me? Before I can do anything, Brody gives me the biggest hug he has ever given me before and kisses the top of my head.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly into my ear so only I can hear him. I nod my head and try to get out of his arms, and finally succeed after about 30 seconds.
Once I finally pull away from Brody I check my phone and realize Aunt Leah is still trying to get a hold of me. Why? It’s not like she really cares anyway, I think to myself as I check the text.
AUNT LEAH: you’re not answering my calls... Are you dead?
At first I laughed, I thought she might actually care about me a little, but then listened to one of the voicemails.
“Since you are not answering my calls, I hope you are dead because then I can stop giving you my money, and give most of it to Luke and Katie. Well I’ll leave another one, but if you’re alive just text me saying how much you love me but don’t expect an I love you back. Just remember I have a spare gun if you ever want to use it. Bye Ashley.”
As I finish listening to the voicemail, I hear a knock on the door. Oh no, my date, which I forgot for about the third time today. Everyone looks around to see who is going to answer the door, I walk toward my bedroom to give the hint that I wasn’t going to do it.
“I’ll get it,” Luke yells as he gets up from the couch and answers the door. I change and do my make-up as fast as I can, and ignore the mess that I had made earlier. As I walk out of my bedroom all eyes turn to me. “Wow you look beautiful Ashley.” Luke says to me as he gives me a hug.
“Perfect!” Katie and Paige scream at the same time “Like usual.” Then they give me hug. Brody stays where he is and completely avoids eye contact with Patrick and I.
“Ready to go?” He asks as he opens the front door for me. I just smile and nod and try to hide how red I am.
When I get into Patrick’s car I get a text. I want to ignore it but I didn’t know if it was important, it was from Aunt Leah so it can’t be that important.
AUNT LEAH: So have you decided if you’re going to need my gun? Remember do it on the side of your head by your temples. :)
I start to feel tears well up in my eyes, I just try to blink them away before Patrick will notice.
“You Okay? You seem sad.” Patrick asks as we get into the restraunt and seated.
“Yeah I’m fine. I just need to text my Aunt back,” I almost whisper so that I don’t start crying right there.
ASHLEY: Fuck you.
‹ Chapter 2
♠ ♠ ♠
***THE NEXT DAY***
I wake up in a much better mood than I have for the past couple of days. Forgetting I had exchanged numbers with Patrick Kane, I got a phone call from a random number. I decided not to answer it afraid it could be a telemarketer or worse, Minnesota family. I did not want to hear from any of them. None of them cared about me, they all wished I had died with my family in the car accident. It made me feel awful inside but I always knew it was true. At Christmas one year my aunt and uncle invited Katie and Paige to go onto a cruise to the Bahamas, and then fly back there and spend a week swimming with dolphins. What did I get? I card that read ‘Merry Christmas! From, Aunt Leah and Uncle Alex’. I know Christmas isn’t supposed to be about presents but still, it hurt not being invited. That was the year I knew I was moving to Chicago.
By the time the phone was done ringing the little chime pulled me out of my thoughts. Oh yippee I could get bashed on how I was stupid for moving to Chicago, not like they really would care anyway. As I listened to the message I could hear guilt in Pats voice. The voicemail went something like this “Hey Ash, I’m sorry I kind of forgot to give you my number and you even told me that you don’t answer to numbers you don’t know. Well anyway can’t wait to see you on your first day as a Blackhawk employee! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get lunch or something. Um yeah so call or text me back. I would prefer you to call though because yeah, so yeah. Okay this is getting long, okay bye Ashley.” And with that he hung up. I knew I should call him back, but waited a little too long and as I was about to hit the ‘call back’ button I was rudely interrupted by Katie.
“You like him!” Katie screamed which made me blush.
“Shhhh! Luke and Paige are sleeping” I whisper yelled.
“You are so gullible. They both already left! Paige went shopping. Said she needed a new outfit including, purse, shoes, dress and a phone case” Katie was naming everything off and started to slur her words at the end when she saw my phone light up with the name ‘Patrick Kane’. I started to blush but pushed my phone aside before Katie could answer it.
“Fuck you, if you’re not going to answer it I will!” Katie says reaching across my lap on the couch but I throw my phone down my shirt. “Fuck you” she mumbles under her breath.
I walk out on the balcony to take in how beautiful Chicago is. I grab my phone out of my sports bra to call pat back to see a text from him.
PAT: You haven’t answered my calls! Did I already do something to piss you off! Anyway it is still kind of early so if you wake up and see this call me back like ASAP!
ASHLEY: first time you called I didn’t know it was you… second time my friend was being a bitch and tackled me on the couch for my phone, minor details after that.
PAT: haha okay sounds good. So you got my voicemail?
ASHLEY: I would love to go to lunch or something tell me when and where and I will be there!
PAT: yay! So I know it’s not very classy but I’m craving a deep dish Ginos East pizza. I’ll pick you up around 12:30.
ASHLEY: it’s all good I have been craving that or Italian beefs from Portillos since I got here!
PAT: wow. True Chicagoan right there. Portillos is the best place for beefs.
ASHLEY: Why yes it is my friend. Well I gotta go, see you in a little while! Can’t wait ;)
PAT: Bye Ashley ;)
As my conversation ended with Patrick I decided to just stand over the railing of my apartment. It was a gorgeous summer day in Chicago and I had a perfect view of Lincoln Park. My apartment was high up and not very nice but in a nice area. My parents left all the money to me so I had a good amount saved up to get a good 3-4 bedroom apartment, meanwhile I still had to think of how I was going to pay off my student loans. The next thing I know I look over and see Luke standing next to me to pull me out of my thoughts.
“So what’s the guy’s name?” Luke asks suspiciously.
“How do you know it’s a guy?” I ask looking at Luke and he turns his head and laughs then leans on the balcony railing with me.
“I know my cousin. Whenever it’s a guy she just wants to be outside and look into nature and think how her life could be different.” Luke says sweetly. He was right though, every time I ever liked a guy or broken up with a guy all I wanted to do was be outside, by myself.
“You’re the best cousin ever” I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around Lukes back. He just laughed, then sighed. Now it was my turn to be the best cousin in the world.
“What’s wrong?” I ask looking over and seeing his face become red and tears start to collect in his eyes. He turned to look at the brick wall next to him, then the next thing I know he grabbed my arms and pulled me into him.
“I am being scouted to play for the capitals Ashley.” I didn’t see why that was a bad thing. It’s not like her hated the capitals, but they weren’t his favorite team.
“What’s so bad about that?” I ask then he starts to sob. I rubbed his back as best I could, he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and just cried. He couldn’t stop, but he wouldn’t tell me what was so bad.
Once we broke apart from our hug, which seemed like a century, he leaned over the railing and let his head drop like he was ashamed of something. I started to rub his back again and he calmed down a little more.
I forgot I had a date with Patrick and he seemed to show up when Luke was at his breaking point. I sat outside for another 10 minutes and rubbed Lukes back and he explained to me why he was so upset.
“Do you really think I’m just going to stop talking to you?” I said surprised by Luke’s words.
“Yeah, I mean you stopped talking to everyone in Minnesota, except for my parents. You got all pissed at me for changing you list, and you don’t even have a dog. This place allows pets you know! I thought it was your and your dads dream to get a golden retriever? Now is your chance, have something that will remind you of your dream. Do something your parents wanted you to do, besides go to college and move out.” Luke said sensitively because he knows how sensitive I am and if he starts yelling I’m going to start crying.
“Luke I love our family in Minnesota, it’s just they don’t like me. I always only showed the nice birthday card, some of them were awful. I never told anyone this not even Paige, but one year I got a birthday card saying it should have been me in that car accident and not my brothers and parents. It said a lot more hurtful things to, but the end is what really got to me. I said and I quote ‘You might as well kill yourself because no one in Minnesota loves you anymore and I sure as hell know no one Chicago does either. Everyone only liked your brothers and parents and we all thought you should have never been born. KILL YOURSELF’. Luke that might have been the worst birthday eve-.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I just exploded right there in Lukes arms. He thought he might as well join in on the sob fest, so we both stood there motionless and just cried. About a minute later Paige and Katie came outside and Luke gave me another hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek, then made his way inside.
Katie and Paige just hugged me as I stood there sobbing my eyes out remembering every little detail of my past. The past I wanted to forget. It followed me everywhere I went. I moved to Chicago to forget it and move on. The next thing I know I just collapse to the ground and pull my knees up to my chest, and bury my head in my legs. That was Katie and Paige’s cue to leave, so they did. I sat in that position for about two minutes then turned my head to face the park. I checked my phone and remembered I had a date with Patrick, and I was late for it. I look in the middle of the screen and see one missed call from Aunt Leah. “YOU TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF!” I scream as I chuck my phone at the chair next to me.
After about 5 minutes I get up and walk inside to where everyone is sitting and watching TV. When I walk in everybody gets up and comes to give me hug which makes me cry again. Gosh why am I crying so much? Why do I always bottle up my emotions and then ruin something that’s important to me? Before I can do anything, Brody gives me the biggest hug he has ever given me before and kisses the top of my head.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly into my ear so only I can hear him. I nod my head and try to get out of his arms, and finally succeed after about 30 seconds.
Once I finally pull away from Brody I check my phone and realize Aunt Leah is still trying to get a hold of me. Why? It’s not like she really cares anyway, I think to myself as I check the text.
AUNT LEAH: you’re not answering my calls... Are you dead?
At first I laughed, I thought she might actually care about me a little, but then listened to one of the voicemails.
“Since you are not answering my calls, I hope you are dead because then I can stop giving you my money, and give most of it to Luke and Katie. Well I’ll leave another one, but if you’re alive just text me saying how much you love me but don’t expect an I love you back. Just remember I have a spare gun if you ever want to use it. Bye Ashley.”
As I finish listening to the voicemail, I hear a knock on the door. Oh no, my date, which I forgot for about the third time today. Everyone looks around to see who is going to answer the door, I walk toward my bedroom to give the hint that I wasn’t going to do it.
“I’ll get it,” Luke yells as he gets up from the couch and answers the door. I change and do my make-up as fast as I can, and ignore the mess that I had made earlier. As I walk out of my bedroom all eyes turn to me. “Wow you look beautiful Ashley.” Luke says to me as he gives me a hug.
“Perfect!” Katie and Paige scream at the same time “Like usual.” Then they give me hug. Brody stays where he is and completely avoids eye contact with Patrick and I.
“Ready to go?” He asks as he opens the front door for me. I just smile and nod and try to hide how red I am.
When I get into Patrick’s car I get a text. I want to ignore it but I didn’t know if it was important, it was from Aunt Leah so it can’t be that important.
AUNT LEAH: So have you decided if you’re going to need my gun? Remember do it on the side of your head by your temples. :)
I start to feel tears well up in my eyes, I just try to blink them away before Patrick will notice.
“You Okay? You seem sad.” Patrick asks as we get into the restraunt and seated.
“Yeah I’m fine. I just need to text my Aunt back,” I almost whisper so that I don’t start crying right there.
ASHLEY: Fuck you.
‹ Chapter 2
♠ ♠ ♠
Notes
Okay so I feel really bad about changing the story, but I like it a lot better this way. I also made and outfit for this chapter but I don't know how to make it so you can click on it so it takes you right to the website, but here is the link for it: http://www.polyvore.com/untitled/set?id=90586122I hope you guys like this way better! Please Comment!!!
please update!
3/31/14