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Beautiful Disaster

Home Not So Sweet

'Sidney Fucking Crosby who the fuck did he think he was coming in and swooping me up, like he was saving me?' I thought angrily to myself, glaring over at him on the Pittsburgh Penguins private plane.

He just sat there across from me on the plane and acted like he didn't see me glaring at him. I didn't want or need to be saved by him. I just wanted to drown my sorrows in the bottom of an empty glass, with Jack and Coke or maybe Vodka. But nope mister Crosby had to come swooping in and drag me away. And drag me away he did, literally. After me admittedly shaking my head no at him and hoping that would be enough for him to leave me alone. But of course it wasn't, he literally picked me up and threw me over his broad shoulder like a sack of potatoes and walked out of the bar. With Jonathan Quick following behind us, laughing the whole way.

'I really need to reevaluate who is in my life' I thought bitterly.

I still didn't understand why Sid was still in my life or why he would care about me. I didn't understand why anybody cared about me anymore. After that night seven years ago I had shut everybody out of my life. I pushed and pushed and pushed everyone that I had known and cared about away. I didn't want anyone to care about me anymore. I didn't need anyone and people didn't need someone like me in their lives. I would just end up reeking havoc in their lives and screw them up. 'Like I had my own life' I thought. I didn't want to be responsible for wrecking anymore life's than I already had. The only responsibility I had was my own life.

'And we see how that's ended up' I thought. Spending every night possible in a bar, with endless empty cups.

"Emmerson your up. Or are you just going to sit there and glare at Sid like he kicked your puppy?" James Neal asked, with a chuckle.

Shaking my head from my dark thoughts I looked up to find James, Sid, Evgeni, and Jordan watching me intently. Sighing I shook my head threw my cards down, indicating I was done playing this ridiculous card game. I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the plane window and stared out into the pitch black of the night. I could hear a collective sigh from all the guys, than an angry mumble coming from Sid's direction as he stood up angrily and stomped towards the back of the plane. I felt one of my hands curl up into a tight fist and dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand as hard as I could. Trying to inflict some kind of pain to myself, to see if I had any kind of feelings left in me. But I felt nothing as I stared out the window, except for the slight prick of tears filling the corner of my eye.

I didn't turn my head as I heard the guys putting the cards away and return to their original seats. I let out a breath I had been holding and closed my eyes, being thankful I was finally being left alone.

"You know he's only trying to help you Emmerson. That's what we're all trying to do. But we can only help you so much. If you keep acting like you are you're only going to succeed in pushing us all away. And than what are you going to have left?" James murmured, than stood up and left to go to his seat.

'No I don't need him or anybody. I'm fine just by myself.' I thought angrily. Wiping my cheek ruffly with the back of my hand as I felt the first tear trickle down.

I don't know how long I sat there by myself just staring out into the dark night. It could have been minutes or hours, honestly I didn't care. I was just glad they had left me alone. That was until I heard someone heavily sit down next to me.

"Here were going to be landing soon. You may want to clean yourself up," Sid said gruffly, trying hand me a warm washcloth.

I made no move to look at Sid or try and take the wash cloth from him.

"God damnit Emmerson. You have blood on your cheek and hand," Sid snapped quietly, cupping his hand under my chin and turning my head towards him.

He gently took the washcloth he was holding in his hand and gently stared to wipe my face off. My eyes wondered down to my hand as he let go of my chin, as he gently uncurled my fingers from my fist. I stared blankly at my hand noticing the indentations from my nails, that I had succeeded in breaking skin on. He wiped the blood from the palm of my hand, it was than I noticed the first aid kit sitting in his lap. He took out an alcohol wipe and opened it and wiped at my hand. I let out a hissing noise as the alcohol stung and tried to tear my hand from his hold. But his grip on my hand wouldn't let go, he held firmly enough that it didn't hurt.

"Atleast I know you feel something," Sid muttered under his breath.

My eyes flicked up to his face, but his eyes were fixed on my hand as he bandage it up. 'No I'm not immuned to all pain' I thought bitterly.

"There all fixed up," Sid said, as he placed the bandages back in the first aid kit and closed the box. I yanked my hand out of his grasp and turned back to the window.

I heard Sid sigh next to me and sit back in his seat as he fixed his seatbelt, "We'll be landing soon." He muttered.

'Woohoo' I thought sarcastically, mentally rolling my eyes. I had no idea where we were going or where we were landing. He had mentioned that my brother wanted me back home. 'But home where?' I thought. I didn't have a home anywhere, anymore. Sid had taken me from the only place I called home anymore. If it had been day time on this plane I might have been able to tell where we were going.

About thirty minutes later I could feel the plane desending and the landing gear on the plane lowering. I gripped the armrests of the seats tightly. I hated landings, I didn't mind the flying or taking off parts. It was always the landing part that terrified me. I always came up with the worst case scenarios in these death trap contraptions. Ten minutes later the plane was taxing up to its spot where we would be able to exit.

When we were finally able to exit the plane I followed Sid's lead and stood up. Keeping my eyes cast downwards I followed slowly behind him and the other guys. I shivered slightly as I reached the door and the cool night air hit me. I wished I had a warmer jacket with me. I lifted my eyes to watch where I was going when I had reached the bottom of the stair case and followed behind Sid. Looking around I could see a small group of faithful Penguin fans standing around, probably waiting for some autographs or pictures. I figured we probably weren't in Pittsburgh considering it wasn't that many fans and that it had to be atleast three or four in the morning.

I could feel the curious glances of people as I was walking with the guys. I was used to the attention being an athlete myself. But people were probably wondering what I was doing with the Penguins players. I knew by later that morning or that night there were going to be tons of rumors roaming around. Considering I was often photographed with my soccer team. It had not been any secret that I was often seen or photographed with many NHL players. Considering I knew a bunch of players and teams, thanks to having a brother that played in the NHL and the guys I knew in the league.

My face had been plastered in many tabloids with pictures of me and Jack, or me and Sid, or me and any other player I happened to know. I was used to it, I was even immuned to the many rumors that had been spread about me because of this. It was all part of who I was and what I did. But it didn't mean I liked it. I couldn't hear the whispers of the girls who were standing a few feet away from me.

"Oh my god is that Emmerson Wisniewski?" one girl whispered.

"What is she doing with the penguins? Is she banging Sidney?" another one whispered. I scrunched my nose up in disgust at that one.

"God she's such a tramp," another one whispered.

'I'm not screwing anybody' I thought wanting to scream it out loudly. Jesus someone get me a drink.

Sid threw an arm around my shoulders and I tried to shrug him off. But he just pulled me tighter against him and lead me through the crowd of onlookers. 'Not helping buck-o' I thought sarcastically, hearing the gasps of the girls behind me and rolling my eyes. I heard Sid chuckle next to me, obviously not missing my eye roll.

"Here you go delivered safe and sound as I promised. But not happily I might add," I heard Sid say to someone, as we came to a stop in front of someone.

My head snapped up to find my brother standing there leaning against the side of his SUV, with his arms crossed across his chest. Looking very sleepy and dishevled, wearing a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and a heavy coat, and one of his 'WIZ' wear beanies. He had a frown on his face as he looked me over.

"Thanks man I appreciate it," James said nodding and shaking Sid's hand.

"Be good Emmerson. I'll see you later," Sid mumbled in my ear, as he kissed the side of my head.

After that Sid walked off to join the rest of his team on the bus that wasn't too far from James SUV. I stood there awkwardly as James and I just stared each other down. Neither one of us wanting to give in and backdown.

'How dare he think he can just demand someone to bring me here to him. Who the fuck does James Wisniewski think he is?' I thought angrily, sending him my iciest glare I could.

Sighing James shook his head and pushed off the side of his vehicle. Than pulled open the passenger side door for me. I wrapped my arms around my middle and shifted my weight from foot to foot, trying to keep myself warm. James turned to look at me when he realized I made no move to get in his SUV.

"Emmerson get in the vehicle," James said.

I shook my head no. There was no way I was getting in his SUV and going anywhere with him.

"Emmerson get in the god damn vehicle," he demanded through gritted teeth. I could see a nerve in his jaw tick, with how hard he was gritting his teeth.

Again I shook my head.

"So help me god Emmerson if you don't stop being so god damn stubborn I will physically pick you up and place you in there. Than strap you down so you can't get out. I have child safety locks and I'm not against using them," he snapped, sending me glare.

Again I shook my head and sent him a icy glare to match his own. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, he shook his head. Than walked over to me, once again I found myself being lifted up like I weighed nothing and placed in the passenger seat. James gripped the seatbelt and leaned over me and buckled me in as if I were incapable of doing it myself. Than slammed my door shut and grabbed a bag off the ground which I failed to notice and rushed around to the drivers side. Opening his door, he tossed my bag in the back and got in. Starting up his SUV he took off from the airport towards what I could only assume was his and his wife's home.

'Home Sweet Fucking Home' I thought bitterly.


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