If We've Got No Place To Go..

I feel like shit. Jordan hasn't been around for the last few days and practices have been killer. So this morning, when the alarm goes off it gets smacked so hard I actually check to make sure I didn't break my phone. I roll out of bed and head for the kitchen. Marshall trips me twice and I say, "Shit, dude, chill." I pour him an early breakfast and make myself a shake. I check my phone again, but this time to see if Jordan has tried to get a hold of me. We haven't talked since the night I decided to be the biggest idiot to walk planet earth. Nothing. I down the shake, pull on my jacket and old Nikes, and head out the door.

The second I get to the AAC, I know something is up. The Brothers Benn keep looking at me, and then they look at each other. As I slowly pull my gear over sore muscles, Jamie walks up to me and says, "Me, you, and Jordie: lunch." I nod, unsure why Jamie is so dead set on making sure I know exactly what I'm doing after practice. I shrug on my jersey and head out to the ice.

Coach says we're going "old school" for practice today and we line up to do herbies. They weren't so bad at the beginning; then slowly, every muscle in my body begins to throb and burn. Finally, we are told to get with our lines and prepare to work systems. This: scoring, passing, and fore checking is my game. Bennie, Val, and I just seem to have a good rhythm. Mix in Peverley, Garbutt, or Eakin from time to time and we're unstoppable.

Practice turned out to be a literal pain in the ass. Bennie bounced at least two slappers of my, now sore, behind. I grumble my way into the locker room, strip my gear, and head for the showers.

Now, clean, I meet Jordie and Jamie in the parking lot. "So where are you two taking me?" I ask. "That sushi place?" Jamie says. "Ok, see you there." I nod and head for my truck. I notice Jordan's car, parked to the immeadiate left of my truck. My heart pounds in my chest. Everytime I think about that night, I become a emotional wreck. Not only did I hurt Jordan but I let myself down by stooping to another one night stand. Jordan is too good for me and I don't deserve to have her in my life, at all.

Jamie and Jordie beat me to the restaurant. I sit down in the chair with the Brothers Benn to my left and right. We order and then there was an uncomfortable silence. "So," Jamie clears his throat. "We need to ask you about something." I nod, implying for them to continue. "We know, about Candi, and Jordan does, too." Jamie says. I sputter out the sip of water I had just took.

"Oh, God, how?"

Jamie looks down and Jordie says, "Jordan heard Candi, talking about you. She told us. The poor girl has been a mess." The color drains from my face, I feel sick. "Dammit, I'm such an asshole. It didn't mean anything. I was angry because I shouldn't let myself like Jordan, and that girl was available." I explain, hopelessly. Jordie looks at me, all business.

Jamie, he looks at me like an angry brother. "The one good thing you had going, and you let her slip away because you had to have an angry fuck. You don't deserve a girl like Jordan. God, I should have told her to stay away when I had the chance." Jamie snaps. I just blink at him. I don't deserve her, but I sure as hell deserve this.

The food arrives and we eat in complete silence. "Should I talk to her?" I ask as our empty plates are taken away. Jamie pretends not to hear me, but Jordie says "Yeah, probably, but do it quick. Letting girls stew on this stuff for long is never good." "Thanks," I murmur. Jamie stands. "I'm out," he says. "You coming?" Directed at Jordie, and the older Benn brother nods and says, "See you around, Segs; and be careful, it will be a mine field." I don't need to ask what "it" he's talking about. Talking to Jordan will be the scariest moment of my life. I don't want to lose a friend, but I'm toxic. On top of all that, I'm pretty sure I'm falling for her

Notes