The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

December 23, 2013

Dear Diary,

The Pen’s game against the Rangers last Wednesday was really great. Brandon scored a goal and the game winning shoot out goal. I had never been sexually turned on by hockey before, but something about that game was really….attractive? When Sid returned the next day I dragged him upstairs pushed him into bed. I think I might have been a bit rougher that time than I normally am with him. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with the fact that I kept thinking about Brandon’s shoot out goal. It wasn’t really the goal itself but rather the fact that he had scored it (after 5 Penguins, including Sid, didn’t score in the shootout).

I have no idea why I felt that way, and I was a little upset that I couldn’t stop thinking about it while I was with Sid. Sid has scored lots of goals since we started dating but I have never been turned on by any of them.

For some reason I thought that talking about this with Brandon would help, so I decided to visit him before their game against the Wild that evening. I promised myself that I would not try to have sex with him or anything else, and I was just going to talk to him.

“Hey Brandon,” I said, not knowing how to bring the subject up. “That was some game last night.”

“Yeah, it was pretty good,” he replied.

“That goal you had was, um, really… awesome,” I continued, still not knowing how to transition.

“Which one?” he asked.

“Both, both were great, and kind of, um,” I swallowed and looked down, “kind of hot.”

“Did you say it was hot?” He asked starting to smile. I nodded. “Why was it hot?”

“I don’t know,” I replied starting to get embarrassed, “I just couldn’t stop thinking about it this morning when Sid and I were-” I stopped and looked down again.

“You were thinking about my goal while you were having sex with your boyfriend?” he asked starting to laugh. “I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me before.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I said laughing, “Maybe I’m going through withdrawals.”

“Withdrawals? From me?” He asked confused.

“From having sex with you, now that we’re not sleeping together.” I explained. “I’m trying really hard to be a better girlfriend to Sid, especially since the, you know, the thing.”

“We’re not sleeping together anymore?” He asked looking slightly disappointed. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“There are other girls,” I said rolling my eyes.

“Yeah but they aren’t you,” my heart fluttered when he said this, but he kept talking, “other girls are annoying, and I have to, like, flirt with them and stuff.”

“Oh I see,” I said with a smile, “and I’m just available whenever you want and all you have to do is score some sexy overtime shootout goal and I’ll come running over here begging for sex.”

“It’s kind of true,” he said laughing.

“Actually, I might have done that if Sid and I hadn’t already had sex,” I admitted, still laughing.

“Oh, so there’s no chance of…” he asked looking hopeful.

I hit him, “No Brandon, what did I just say. Actually, I should probably leave soon. You have a game to play tonight, and you’d better win.”

And they did, 2-5.

Kate decided we were going to skate to Christmas music for pretty much all of December and it’s getting annoying. However, I got to pick the song for the next game, their last home game before Christmas, and I chose ‘Linus and Lucy’ from ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ (my favorite Christmas movie). We all dressed up as different character’s and tried to dance like they did in the movie. I‘m was Sally (Charlie Brown’s sister) and Caeleigh was the girl with red hair (of course). It was very funny, all the guys liked it too.

Their next game was a little more disappointing. And by a little I mean a lot. The fact that it was right before Christmas made it worse. Not only did they lose 0-5, but Duper left in the first period with a bad injury (torn ACL maybe?) after Sid was pushed into him. Sid is still in Ottawa, but he should be returning tonight. I am not looking forward to grumpy Sid.

At least we get to leave for Nova Scotia tomorrow afternoon!

Sincerely,

Emme

_________________________________________________________________________
Dec. 27, 2013

Dear Diary,

As I lay in bed next so Sid on Christmas Eve there was something keeping me up. I felt strange; like a weird happy feeling I’ve never felt before.

Still awake well past midnight, it occurred to me what was wrong.

“Sid!” I whispered as I tried to wake him up. “Sid wake up, this is important!”

“What?” He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me. The dull light coming through the window from the street outside gave just enough light for me to see his tired features as he slowly woke up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just needed to see you awake.” I replied.

“Why?” he replied confused and still waking up.

“I want to talk to you,” I said. “It’s nothing really.”

“What did you want to talk about?” He asked sitting up.

“It’s nothing, I just, I think maybe…” I trailed off, not sure where to start.

“Sid,” I said looking into his eyes, “I love you.”

A warm smile spread across his face and happiness filled the corners of his eyes.

“Emme,” He said pulling me closer and giving me a kiss, “I love you too.”

“I know,” I said with smile. (it had been how many weeks since he first told me?)

I curled up in his arms and fell asleep happy, and for the first time, in love.

-

The next morning Sid volunteered me to make pancakes for his family before we opened presents.

“She makes excellent banana pancakes,” he said pushing me into the kitchen.

“Can I help you?” his sister asked as Sid and his parents left to sit by near the quaintly decorated tree in the living room.

“Sure, you probably know your way around this kitchen better than I do,” I joked.

She picked up a banana and started peeling it. “I think you and Sid are really great together.”

“Thank you,” I smiled.

“I hope I’m not intruding or anything, but Sid told me what happened, with the baby? And I just wanted to say how sorry I am,” she said looking sincere.

“Oh, I didn’t realize he told anyone,” I said looking down. I had started to forget about it. “It wasn’t really a big deal, I didn’t even know I had been pregnant, so to find out I wasn’t any more was kind of strange.”

“But still, that’s hard. Especially so early in your relationship,” she moved closer and put her hand on my shoulder. “That must have been really hard for both of you.”

“I think Sid took it harder than I did. Do you have any whole wheat flour?” I asked changing the subject.

They all seemed to like my pancakes, which was a relief. I was very worried they wouldn’t like them or I that I had accidently made them wrong and everyone was going to get sick.

Opening presents was fun (when is it not?) and his parents got me a Penguin’s hoodie that said ‘87’ on it.

“We knew Sid wouldn’t get you one,” his mom said with a smile.

“Thank you,” I said putting it on over my pajamas. I handed Sid his present and watched him as meticulously opened it, being careful not to tear the paper.

“Figure skates?” He said taking out one of the black skates (I had gotten the Pen’s logo stenciled on the sides of them).

“So I can teach you how to figure skate and we can skate together.” I said smiling, hoping he wouldn’t think it was lame.

He smiled, “Thank you Emme,” and he leaned in to kiss me. “Now I’ll have to teach you how to play hockey!”

He handed me a small box. I opened it apprehensively. I had the same feeling about this small black box that I’d had with the one my birthday present came in.

And, again it was not a ring. It was a very pretty necklace that had a single sapphire pendant with two small diamonds on either side of it.

“Thank you Sid, this is so beautiful!” I said holding it up to my neck.

“It matches your eyes,” he said helping me with the clasp.

The rest of the afternoon I heard fun stories from Sid’s parents about how some of those strange pregame rituals and superstitions had started. His sister and I talked for a while, and she told me about going to college in Boston next year. I jokingly reminded her that UNH and BC were rivals.
.

The entire time we were in Nova Scotia visiting his parents I didn’t once think of Brandon or anyone else. The day after Christmas I got a text from him that said ‘merry Christmas’, though it looks like he actually sent it on Christmas it just didn’t get delivered until I turned my phone on after I got off the plane in New Hampshire.

-

Sid had to go back to Pittsburgh for a game, but I had a few days off so I went home for a second Christmas with my family. Cliff and Maria picked me up at the airport this time and we all drove home together. They had spent Christmas with Maria’s family and spent the whole car ride talking about Maria’s sister’s children and how cute they were.

Then they spent most of dinner talking about how Maria was pregnant and how she’d had her first ultrasound. She showed us pictures and my mom cried again, and (again) Cliff and I just sat there awkwardly while they cried.

After dinner we opened presents, and they continued to talk about baby stuff. It was really starting to wear on me, and after listening to them talk about cribs and names and cute onsies for nearly five hours, I lost it. I just started crying and ran up to my room.

I texted Sid to tell him how upset I was, even though I knew that would probably upset him too. He didn’t reply so I texted Brandon.

*Hey. Sorry to bother you but I’m an emotional wreck right now.*

*What’s wrong : ( *

*My sister-in-law is pregnant and all we’ve been talking about since I got here is babies.*

*Do they know about…. it?*

*No, and I don’t want to tell them and ruin Christmas. Sid’s sister brought it up when I was visiting, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since*

*You met his sister?*

*Yeah, she’s really nice. Why?*

*that’s kind of a big step. Has he met your family?*

*no, he’s busy. But he says he wants to. And they want to meet him*

*you guys are getting pretty serious*

*yeah I guess. I told him I loved him.*

*oh*

*I don’t even know where it came from, but on Christmas eve it finally felt right, so I told him*

*that’s great for you guys*

*I know : D I finally feel like things are going in the right direction for Sid and I*

My mom knocked on my door and asked to come in. *I have to go my mom’s here*

I opened the door and let my mom in. She sat on my bed next to me.

“What’s wrong Emme?” she said rubbing my back.

I leaned over and hugged her and started crying. I told her everything about the miscarriage, even though I really didn’t want too many people knowing, but she is my mom.

“I am so sorry,” she said continuing to rub my back. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“I just wanted it to go away, and if I talked about it then it would be real.”

“I never told you or your brother this, but I had a miscarriage two years after your brother was born,” she said looking sad. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with.”

“Really?” I asked sitting up. “How come you never told us?”

“You didn’t need to know, and I just wanted to forget about it,” she looked at me and smile, “and then you were born two years later, and I was so happy.”

Talking to my mom about it made me feel so much better, especially knowing she had been through it too.

Before I left I promised they would get to meet Sid soon. Maria wants me to invite them all to Pittsburgh and I told her I’d have to ask Sid first. I’m not sure I want my whole family visiting me, though it would be fun if they came to a game.

-

When I got back to Pittsburgh Sid said the team had gotten me something. Well, Caeleigh and I something.

Geno and Sid led Caeleigh and I into the guy’s locker room blindfolded. When they took the blindfolds off Caeleigh screamed and hugged Geno, but I didn’t quite know how to react, so I said thank you and smiled.

Next to Sid’s locker was a bunch of pink hockey equipment and Pen’s jersey that said ‘Saxon’ on the back with number 87. Caeleigh’s stuff was next to Geno’s and she got to be number 71 (duh).

“You girls get to be Penguins for a day!” coach Dan said. “It’s only fair after you taught us how to figure skate.”

I walked up to the stuff and just stared. “I don’t even know what to do with this.”

The rest of the guys were putting their equipment on while Sid helped me get dressed.

“You look so cute,” Sid said smiling as he handed me my helmet.

“I feel like a marshmallow. How do you skate with all of this stuff?” I asked as I tried to walk to the ice. Caeleigh and Geno were right behind us and she was having the same issues I was with walking and general marshmallowness.

“That’s so you don’t get hurt,” he replied helping me, “not that you would, we’ll be nice to you.”

Once we got on the ice the first thing Caeleigh and I did was fall over. I guess we’re too used to figure skates. Sid and Geno had to help us up, but once we started skating we got the hang of it.

The guys showed us how to handle the puck and how to shoot and pass and stuff. After an hourish Dan decided we were ready to play.

“I want Emme and Caeleigh to take the faceoff.” He said as the guys lined up.

“How do you do that?” I asked looking at Sid. He and Brandon showed me how to face off while Geno taught Caeleigh.

“You can do it like this,” Sid said leaning over and getting into faceoff position, “or you can do it like Brandon and try to get really low and as close to the puck as possible.”

“Like this?” I said as I tried to copy him.

“No, lower,” Brandon said. “You have to spread your legs a little further apart.”

I looked up at him like ‘really?’ and laughed, then slid into a split. “Is this low enough?”

“That might be a little too low,” he said helping me up.

Caeleigh and I got lined up for the faceoff and when Dan dropped the puck we both tried to hit it but somehow ended up missing it. The entire team laughed and Sid said something about me being an embarrassment to him. The second time we tried it I won the faceoff (I think, it’s hard to tell but they said I won) and the puck went to Nealer. The rest of the guys skated off and left Caeleigh and I at center ice.

We eventually got the hang of it. A couple of shifts later Flower let me score a goal on him. It was cute, he pretended to be upset about it, but he was smiling.

The rest of the game went pretty well and we had a lot of fun. I’m not sure how helpful it was for the guys, but it I know Caeleigh and I enjoyed it.

After practice Sid complimented me on my style and he said I got a couple of good shots in.

“You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend,” I said hitting him.

“No, you did pretty well for your first time,” he said with a smile, “And you hit pretty hard. I was not expecting that.”

I’m actually a little sore now, maybe I did hit a few of them a little too hard.

But it was fun.

And now I have to teach Sid how to figure skate properly

Merry Christmas,

Emme.

Notes

Edit: I accidentally deleted this story when I was trying to fix a spelling error in the title so I'm reposting all of the chapters. And I changed my user name, so don't be surprised.