March, 17 2014

Dear Diary,

I have been so paranoid since I saw Cam last week. I called Carli to see if she knew why he was in Chicago.

“I think it’s for his job,” she replied. “I guess after his internship ended they hired him. I don’t know if he requested to work in Chicago, or if that’s just where he was assigned.”

“This sucks. I already hated it here enough, I did not need this.” I sighed.

“Could you get transferred back to Pittsburgh?” She suggested. “I mean you probably can’t skate that much longer now that you’re pregnant and all.”

“I know. I should talk to Sid, maybe he can get me out of it.”

I’m not sure I want to go back to Pittsburgh. Things are not that great between Sid and me right now. We still talk frequently, but he mostly asks how I’m doing and if anything has happened to the babies. He seems to be in a perpetual bad mood ever since I told him Brandon might be the father, so I try not to talk to him for very long.

Brandon and I have been talking a lot more lately. I think he’s actually really excited about it. He said he doesn’t want to get too into it and then find out he’s not the father. I don’t blame him though, that would be depressing.

I Skyped with him a few days ago so I could see my cat. He held her up in front of the camera until she started growling.

“I see Pancake is her usual grumpy self,” I laughed as she ran away from him.

“Yeah, but it’s because she miss’s you,” he replied.

“Oh really, she misses me?”

“Well, I missed you too,” he said looking sad.

“I miss you too,” I replied. “How are things going with Sid? Has he given you any more black eyes?”

“No, but he’s not exactly being nice to me either.”

“I understand why he’s upset, though. I mean, you’re his teammate, and he has to see you every day whether he wants to or not.”

“Yeah. And the rest of the guys know you’re pregnant, but they don’t know the details.”

“It’s probably better that way, for both of us. I feel so horrible for putting you in this position,” I sighed and looked down.

“It’s not your fault, it was an accident. Besides,” he said with a smile, “there is no one I would have rather accidently gotten pregnant than you.”

“Really?” I asked laughing.

“Yeah you’re really nice, pretty, fun, and we get along well, and my family seem to like you too,” he continued.

“Oh my God, do they know?” I asked, suddenly remembering how nice they had been when I accidently interrupted their dinner in January.

“They might know you’re pregnant, but they don’t know that I might have, um, caused it.”

“That’s funny. Cause of pregnancy: unknown,” I said laughing at my unfortunate situation. “That’s going to be really hard to explain. How do you even make something like this seem normal?”

“We’ll make it work,” he reassured.

I went to bed that night thinking of how awkward it’s going to be to tell my mom. She knows I’m pregnant, but she thinks it’s with Sid.

I should just get a paternity test.

I just don’t like the thought of them putting needles in my stomach.


-


After the Blackhawks game against the Red Wings yesterday I saw him waiting for me. He was just casually standing there, looking completely innocent. Very unlike the creep I knew he was.

I stood around the corner from him, hiding, hoping he wouldn’t come any closer.

“What are you doing?” Jon walked up behind me, scaring me and causing me to jump.

“Nothing.” I said turning around to face him. I hadn’t realized how close he was until I was facing him. “Whoa,” I said taking a step back, “are you trying to get me to help you with your ‘ironing’ again?”

“Can we not talk about that?” He said quietly, “My girlfriend is back in town.”

“Oh, you have a girlfriend. Well, it’s not like I have a boyfriend or anything,” I replied sarcastically.

“I don’t know, I heard things were not going too well between you two,” he said.

“That’s none of your business. But yes, we’re on a kind of ‘break’ per se, while I am out here.” I replied folding my arms. I was starting to get mad at him and I wasn’t really sure why.

“Good luck with that,” he replied with a smirk as he walked away.

Why do boys have to be like that. I turned around, rolling my eyes, and suddenly remembered why I was mad.

Cam was watching me now, and he had moved a little closer.

Every negative thought I had ever had about him came flooding back to me and I just lost it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, not trying to mask the anger in my voice.

“Hey, calm down, I was just here with some of my new co-workers,” he said looking offended that I would ever speak so strongly towards him.

“Are you stalking me?!” I said pushing him, “Did you follow me to Chicago so you could try to ruin my life here as well? Fuck you!” I yelled, and punched him in the face. He recoiled and looked like he was going to run away, so I attacked him.

The next thirty seconds or so was a blur of hitting, scratching, and hair pulling. I think Cam was so shocked after the initial punch that he didn’t know what to do.

I was pulled off of him by Jon, who had come back to watch me confront Cam.

Cam was carried away by security, screaming about what a whore I was. I don’t think he’ll be allowed into any more Blackhawks games.

And unfortunately, neither will I. Blackhawk’s management was not happy that I attacked a ‘valued guest’ and ignored everything I said about him being my crazy ex.

Instead of firing me, they are sending me to another team. I think Jon might have talked them into giving me a second chance. As he was leaving the owner’s office he said ‘you owe me one’ to me as I was waiting to hear their verdict.

At least they’re sending me somewhere warm. It could have been much worse.

I spent most of yesterday packing, which didn’t take very long, and I leave for North Carolina tomorrow.

Something tells me Sid won’t be so open about paying for my housing this time, so maybe I can find someone to room with.

Sincerely,

Emme

P.S.: I have wanted to punch Cam for so long! That was totally worth it!

Notes

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