AAOOOSC! The Movie!

Martin walks across the void, snowy dunes of Antarctica, trying to find some sort of civilization. "Hello?" he calls out. "Heeeelllllllloooooo?"
His response is a group of penguins waddling past him, making honking noise.
"Hey, penguins! Awesome!" Martin shuffles over to them. "Hey, do you know where I'm at? Hello?"
The penguins ignore him.
"Do you know anyone by the name Sidney Crosby? He's pretty famous especially if he's one of you guys!"
The penguins continue waddling.
"What about Geno? Geno? Evgeni Malkin? The Flower? Fleury? Marc-André Fleury?"
The penguins go on their bellies and slide down a steep, icy hill.
"Oh, wonderful," Martin mutters to himself. Then an idea dawns on him. "Wait... Why am I still here? I shouldn't be here--I can teleport!" He laughs wheezily. "Wowy, wowy, wowy, how did I just remember that?! It must've been the cold! Haha! Beat this, Manning!" Martin disappears in a puff of red smoke.

He teleports back to Sochi, where it is now empty since everyone is back in the USA.
"Hello?" Martin shouts.
In response, he hears a goofy laugh going: "Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!"
Martin perks a bit. "That laugh sounds familiar." He follows it.
Martin ends up at McMoose's next to the huge McDonald's sign.
Standing on the side on it, sideways, is Sidney, who is practicing his stick handling on the McDonald's symbol and laughing.
"Sid!" Martin shouts, looking up at him. "What the heck are you doing up there?"
Sidney stops practicing and laughing for a second and looks down at Martin. "Oh! Hey, there, Martin! You finally made your way back from where Peyton casted you at!"
"Yea...I saw penguins...and snow."
"Awesome! See, you can never escape from us! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!" Sidney continues practicing his skills.
"Are you practicing your hockey skills up there?"
"Yea! I have to be in the NHL mood since I'm no longer with my Canadian buddies."
"Uh...but I think we should start heading back to the US... The Olympics are over, I take it."
"Yup." Sidney removes his feet from the sign, breaking the ice that stuck his feet on it; he jumps down, spraying ice on the ground so that he has a safe landing. "Let's go!" He walks over the tables and collects his luggage and the Bubbys; he walks back to Martin. "I'm ready!"
"Good. We don't need no airplane now--we can teleport."
"Awesome! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!"
And in a cloud of red smoke, they both disappear.

To be continued in AAOOOSC! Playoffs

Notes

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