AAOOOSC! The Movie!

That night on the shore of the Black Sea, all the hockey players are at Jonas's party, talking, eating, or dancing.
Sidney and Jonathan walk onto the scene with Bubby, Bubby Jr.; Jonathan is carrying a huge, weirdly wrapped present to Jonas.
"Happy Birthday, Jonas!" Sidney shouts. "From, me, Bubby, Bubby Jr., and Jonny!"
Jonas walks up to them with a birthday cone on top of his head. "Aw, thanks guys!"
Jonathan holds out the huge present in front of him. "It might be heavy for you. You want me to take it to your present table?"
"Sure, thanks, Jonny." Jonas pats his back as he walks pass him to the present table with Sidney and the Bubbys.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Henrik Lundqvist fast walks over to Jonas. "Happy Birthday, winner!" He pats his back and gives him a smaller, yet thicker present than Sidney's and Jonathan's.
"Thank you!" Jonas grabs the book from Henrik.
"And guess what? I'm a winner, too! Beat 'em Czech dudes! Same!" Henrik laughs and walks away.
Corey and Ryan are walking up to Jonas while talking. "When's the cake?"
"You mean where's the cake," Ryan corrects his friend.
"No, no, no." Corey and Ryan stop in front of Jonas, who throws Henrik's present to the present table. "When are we gonna have cake?"
"When are we gonna have cake?" Jonas thinks for a moment. "Hm... Right now!"
Corey and Ryan spin around and quack happily.
"Okay, everyone--" Jonas claps his hands to grab everyone's attention. "--cake time! Teemu! Sami! Cam!"
Teemu, Sami, and Cam wheel out a giant cake with Anaheim Ducks and Swiss colors.
Everyone eyes the cake in awe. "Woooooow...."
"Okay, Sami, light up the candles!"
Sami gets a match and lights up thirty-two candles that are in the shape of ducks.
"Alright, everyone!" Cam shouts. "Let's sing Happy Birthday!"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Kari pulls out his iPhone and shows a youtube video loading to everyone. "Let's let 1D sing happy birthday!" Everyone boos/quacks angrily at him. "Gosh, what a mean crowd! Fine!" He stuff his phone into his pocket.
"Okay, okay, okay!" Cam grabs everyone's attention. "One, two, three--"
Everyone sings the Happy Birthday song off-key and out of tune.
"And that is the very reason why we are not singers!" Jonas tells his guests. "Let's eat the cake!" Jonas starts cutting the cake and passing slices to everyone with a bag of chips.
"We are gonna get fat," Carey says.
"It's an evil plot," Jimmy guesses. "To get us all fattened up and plump so that we won't be able to play then they would get gold."
"But they're eating 'em." Ryan points to Patrick and Toews throwing chips and shouting at each other.
"They're not eating them! They're fighting with them!" Jimmy snaps.
"They're eating them." Carey points to Sidney and Jonathan, who are eating the cake and chips; Sidney is pretending to give the Bubbys some food as well.
Jimmy sighs. "Fine. Evil plot's not real. That is good though, I'm in the mood for cake." He starts taking big bites of the chocolate cake.
A while later, after everyone is done eating the cake and done breaking the piñata (the piñata was the Sharks and Kings symbol, one on each side, so Jonathan and Antti did not participate), Jonas tells everyone that it's present time. They walk over to the pile of presents on a table.
"Pick mine! Pick mine!" Reto Berra says excitedly.
"Okay!" Jonas grabs a present and rips it open. "Whoa, a jersey!" He holds up a red jersey. "A Swiss jersey!" He turns it around. "A number one Jonas Hiller jersey! Thank you!"
"Ich hatte nicht ein Geschenk für ihn, so dass ich packte gerade sein Trikot aus seinem Spind," Reto whispers to Tobias so that Jonas wouldn't hear him. (I didn't have a present for him, so I just grabbed his jersey from his locker.)
"Nun, es funktionierte. Gute Arbeit." Tobias patted Reto's shoulder. (Well, it worked. Good job.) They both chuckle.
"Okay, who's next?" Jonas asks.
Sergei raises his hand excitedly. "Bob! Bob!"
"Alright!" Jonas grabs another present and unwraps it. "What is this?" He pulls out a Russian doll in a Columbus Blue Jackets uniform. He dissembles it and pulls out a slip of paper from the second to last doll that says: Мы будем бить вас. Боб. (We will beat you. Bob.) "Well, whatever this means, thank you very much!"
Sergei turns to Evgeni and chuckles. "Bob."
" Молодец," Evgeni tells Sergei. (Good one.)
"Он никогда не будете знать!" Sergei laughs with Evgeni. (He'll never know!)
"Open mine!" Henrik shouts at Jonas.
"Okay!" Jonas grabs Henrik's present from the table and opens it; he holds up a hardcover book. "Healthy Dishes for Ducks. Aw, thanks!"
"No prob! Just layoff on the bread!"
Jonas shoots Henrik a stren look.
Henrik holds up his hands. "Hey, I just don't you to get fat."
"I'm a Duck." Jonas turns away from Henrik. "Next?"
Tuukka jumps to his feet and starts waving his hands in the air. "OPEN MINE! OPEN MINE!"
"It's ours, Tuukka," Kari tells Tuukka.
Tuukka gives Kari a mean look. "No! Mine!"
Kari scoffs and crosses his arms, turning away from Tuukka.
Jonas already opened their present and is now holding up a pair of brown, fluffy, duck slippers and a duck robe. "Ohmigosh! This is awesome!" He digs into the birthday bag and pulls out a card and reads it. "From Antti, Kari, and Tuukka. Thank you!"
"Wait!" Kari shouts. "Look deeper in the box!"
Jonas pulls all the tissue paper from the bag and pulls out the This Is Us DVD. "The One Direction movie?"
Kari squels and claps excitedly. "Yesss!!!"
"Uhhh...." Jonas makes a weird look. "...thanks?"
"You'll enjoy it. Best. Movie. Ever!"
"Okay...."
"You had to slip that in?" Antti whispers to Kari.
Kari's eyes widen. "Yes!"
Antti just sighs.
"Alright, who's present should I open up next?"
"Our's!" Corey shouts. "Our's!"
All the other ducks quack excitedly.
"Okay, okay!" Jonas chuckles as he opens a huge cardboard box; his blue eyes widen. "Oh my gosh! Chips! Bread!" He pulls out three Doritos bags and a loaf of French bread.
"A lifetime supply!" Ryan tells him.
"Thaaank you, guys!"
All the ducks quack joyfully as a response.
"Well, there goes my present," Henrik mutters to himself.
"You can open mine now," Toews tells Jonas.
"I though we brough it together, dude," Patrick tells Toews.
Toews groans. "Ugh, fine...our's."
"Okay!" Jonas pulls out a Swiss flag from another birthday bag. "Cool! My flag!" He turns it around and it's the Ducks flag behind it. "Ohmigosh, it's two in one! Awesome!"
"You're welcome, dude!"
"Shut up, patriot," Toews snaps.
"No, you shut up, you French bird killer!" Patrick and Toews start slapping their hands while their heads are turned away from each other.
"Now, I can open up...your guy's." Jonas points to Jimmy, Ryan, and Carey; he then grabs a huge, rectangular present and opens it up. "Whoa, leg pads!" He raises them up.
"Yup. Let's just say that we got a bit creative and mixed our three pads into one--for you." Jimmy smirks.
"But we thought about your love for the Ducks, so we just used our pad designs and your team colors," Carey tells him.
Ryan shutters. "Ugh, one of the worst experiences I've been through. Seeing so much Duck colors. Grrr... They're so much better than the Sabers."
"Well, thank you very much for these beautiful pads! You might see me play in them when I get back!"
"He's telling the truth," Carey tells Jimmy, using his telepathic powers.
"Okay, and now for the last present, the biggest present, and the most obvious present..." Jonas takes the card that was attached to the present and reads it. "From Sidney, Jonathan, Bubby, and Bubby Jr."
"That's right!" Sidney says.
"And it's a bike."
"Heeey...." Sidney narrows his eyes. "How did you know it's a bike? We wrapped it!"
Jonas swings the wrapped bike in front of him. "I can see the shape."
"I warned you, Sid," Jonathan tells Sidney.
"Pooeys." Sidney hugs Bubby and frowns.
Jonas unwraps the bike. "Whoa, a Sochi bike! Now that I didn't know!"
"Tuukka has that bike!" Tuukka points to the bike.
"We all have that bike," Kari tells Tuukka.
Tuukka makes a puzzled look and scratches his head. "Huh."
Jonas rolls the bike around. "Now I can get to the lake faster! Yay!" All the Ducks give Jonas a stern look. "Heeey...." Jonas looks at his teammates. "Get yourselves a bike." All the Ducks quack at him angerly.
Jonas chuckles. "Well, thank you very much for giving me all of these lovely presents! Now you may go and get some rest for tomorrow's games! Good bye and good night!"
Everyone begins to head back to their cabins.
When eveyone left, Jonas looks around the empty, trashed area. "Now I gotta clean this up...after I take a dip!" He dives into the water and starts floating on his back, quacking and eating Lays. He hears ruffles in the grass and someone clearing their throat. "Uhhh...." Jonas turns around, eyes widen in fear.
Peyton and his sidekicks are looming over him with their arms crossed. "How dare you forget to invite us to your little, lovely party. But since we are so nice, we just came here to give you your well-deserved present."
Jonas just gawks at them. "Uhhh...thanks?"
"So, anyways... Happy. Birthday."
Suddenly, there is a flash of orange light with blue streaks and everything goes dark.

Notes