Hopeless Wanderer

Carrie groaned. Her head was throbbing and the sunlight filtering through the window into her bedroom didn't help the inevitable hangover she knew was going to occur after her drinking spree with her new work friends the night before. She shifted to try to hide the sun from her eyes and froze. There was an arm holding her down and soft snoring next to her. Snoring she recognized. She opened an eye to confirm her suspicions and collapsed against her pillow.

"Fuck," she moaned as she noticed that her clothes from the night before were scattered about with Sid's clothes. She couldn't for the life of her remember sleeping with him. Or that he came home with her. She tensed as he started to move and held her breath as her stirred from his slumber.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked as he faced the opposite side of the room.

"Sidney?" She asked even though she knew it was him.

"Oh God, Carrie. What the hell happened?" He asked as he jumped out of the bed in search of his pants.

"I don't remember." She pulled the sheet up under her arms to hide her naked form.

"Did we--?" He started to ask as he realized he was facing her stark naked. Quickly he turned away in search of anything to cover up.

"I don't know. But considering the state of undress we are in I think it's safe to assume yes."

"Fuck." He found his underwear and began to pull his legs through the holes.

"I didn't think I was that bad," Carrie mumbled as she watched Sid tug his boxer briefs up over his butt. He heard her though and turned with a sad look on his face.

"That's not what I meant by that." He came around to her side of the bed and sat down, draping his arm across her lap. "I just wish I could remember what happened."

"You and me both," she sighed and leaned into his hand as he brought it up and rested it against her cheek.

"I should go," he said after the intimate gesture and quiet moment.

"What time is it?" She asked softly.

"It's nearing eight. I have to be at the rink by noon and I need to run home first."

Carrie nodded in understanding. "Okay."

"Can I come by later?" Sid asked with a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

"What's today?"

"Sunday."

"I work 1 to 6."

"After?"

"I don't know Sid. I thought what you wanted was to take things slow?"

"I do. But given the position we are in right now my inhibitions seem to go down immensely when I'm intoxicated."

"Then let's just leave it at that. You don't have to make up for needing to leave or not remembering last night. I don't remember it either."

"Oh," Sid stuttered.

"You can go," Carrie said and flopped back down against her pillow, throwing an arm over her eyes to shield the sun and to not see Sid leave. She half expected him to not leave, but she wasn't awake long enough to know.

When she finally woke up for good around 10, she found her townhouse empty and a note on the island in her kitchen. It was from Sidney, and like him he kept it simple. "I may not remember last night, but I can't forget all the reasons why I fell in love with you." And beside it he left an empty coffee mug. She thought it strange, then went to her coffee pot and saw that it was set to brew and next to it was a breakfast plate with a butter knife and her natural peanut butter out. Her bagel was ready to toast in her toaster oven. And a banana sat in front of it. The exact breakfast she would fix herself nearly every Sunday. It was scary how well he knew her.

*****
"Good skate boys!" Sid exclaimed as he walked in behind all his teammates after their unofficial practice. None of the coaches were present on the ice, but they were around the locker room and offices so that the players could interact with them. Four days from the official start meant everyone affiliated with the team was around.

"Sidney! Could you come to my office please?" Jen asked loudly over the volume of the room. Sid slipped on his crocs and followed behind the PR lady.

"What's up?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.

"So, I heard her side. Now I want to know yours. That's all."

"Uh, now?" He asked as he fidgeted with the chair in front of him. He was sweaty and needed a shower and he was only in the spandex he wore under his jerseys.

"What happened in Spain Sid?" Jen asked as she signaled for him to take a seat. Knowing he needed to stay on Jen's good side, he followed her silent order and sat.

He immediately went back to that weekend with Carrie and started to detail the flight, the hotel and how romantic it was.

"You sound like a woman," Jen interrupted.

"Alright, I'm done," Sid said and stood to leave.

"I'm kidding! Sit you're ass back down."

He did and resumed telling Jen about their first night there, leaving out the intimate details. How just walking down the stone-cobbled street strung with low slung lights set the mood that he had hoped would continue through the trip. He knew that night that he wanted to tell her that he loved her, which was huge because he never gave his heart away to anyone. And if he was being honest with himself, he had known he loved her from the moment they kissed for the very first time. He had felt that the getaway would be the perfect time to express to her his feelings, given their surroundings and carefree mentality.

Carrie and Sidney were just sitting poolside at the hotel when it happened. She had gone to buy a couple waters and when she returned Sidney graciously accepted the refreshing beverage and blurted out that he loved her. It wasn't the way he imagined saying it, in fact if he had executed the well-thought out plan he had of telling her after the concert then she may not have reacted so negatively.

"Who am I kidding? She probably would still have," he interjected.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Continue," Jen said.

"There's nothing left to say. I said 'I love you' on a whim and got rejected."

"Did you mean it?"

"Absolutely! But clearly the feeling isn't mutual." Or was it? He had woken up in her bed that morning. She had shown up begging to be in his life again.

"I know she came to see you. I told her to do it," Jen said.

"Damnit why are you two friends?" Sid chided. He expected Jen to know everything, which was why he wasn't worried about talking with her about his relationship. In fact, he was certain she was just an ally for both Sid and Carrie.

"She won't admit it, but I'm pretty certain the feeling is, in fact, mutual," Jen explained.

"Well, she is at least talking to me again. That's something."

"Yes it is. I think, in time, the two of you will have this whole thing behind you and be better as a couple and not a work relationship. It got complicated fast and I really think that was one factor as to why she got so scared."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, she told me. And while she hasn't openly admitted to being in love to me or her sister, we both suspect that she is. But she doesn't know how to deal with that right now. She is almost a hopeless wanderer about love and life."

Sid contemplated this and after a long pause said, "Not hopeless."

"No, not hopeless."

*****
Carrie was bored. Closing time was nearly two hours away and the shop was completely empty. Her last customer was about an hour before and she didn't even buy anything. Carrie wondered how this place survived paying two people to work for five hours on a Sunday when they weren't making any money.

Her coworker wasn't exactly a fan of hers, and she didn't know why so she found it best to just avoid her when they were working together. Which today worked out perfectly as she stayed in the back and worked on inventory or an upcoming event, Carrie wasn't quite sure. What she was sure of was how her tailbone was aching from the barstool and she was certain her ankles were swelling from the way she was sitting, letting her legs dangle to and fro. She could only check Facebook so many times a day, and the street wasn't busy at all. That made it hard to people watch.

Carrie sighed and looked at her phone one more time when the small bell dinged indicating someone entering the store.

"Hi! Welcome to Hugh's on the Lane, may I help you?" she recited, barely looking up.

"Hi, yeah, so I'm looking for a gift for this girl I am trying to impress," Sidney started, causing Carrie to look up instantly. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him standing mere feet in front of her, obviously he had just come from the rink.

"Sid--" she interrupted.

"Now, now, hear me out! She is this incredibly honest, yet sometimes fickle person. She has a smile that will light up a room, but she doesn't flash it very often. And she loves those around her so fiercely that even when they are gone they know she is somewhere thinking of them." Carrie bit back some tears that were threatening to spill over.

"And the day I finally earn that love from her, I know I will never let it go." He was close enough to her that he leaned against the counter.

"She sounds pretty nice," Carrie choked out.

"She is fucking amazing. I mean, I am going to great lengths spilling my heart out to you," he squinted as though trying to read her name tag, "Carrie, because she is everything I want in my life."

"What if the feelings aren't the same?" Carrie asked knowing full well that wasn't true, but she needed to play devil's advocate just for a minute.

"I don't believe I will ever live up to the expectations that she will have of me. She had a love that I want with her once before. And I am not asking to fill a void that he left, or to make her forget all together. I am just asking to let me be there when the days are rough on her."

"What about taking things slow?"

"It's a little late for that. For me anyways."

"Why?"

"Because I am in love with her. And she may not be with me yet, but I can wait. So long as she is in my life."

"Sid--"

"No! No, there you go again. Making that sound like this entirely well thought out plan while I was skating laps today isn't working. But I know it is."

"How?" Her voice thick with skepticism.

"Go to dinner with me."

"How do you know your plan is working?"

"You're still listening, aren't you?"

"Carrie have you seen the inventory sheets from the stationary," an older woman started, but stopped when she saw Sidney, "oh, I didn't hear the bell. I apologize."

"It's fine, Bridget. He's looking to buy a gift for a girl. But he doesn't know what to do."

"We have some really great Pandora charms."

"I don't...I don't know what that is," Sid stuttered, he saw his plan beginning to unravel.

"Charms, like a charm bracelet. Wait a minute, you're Sidney Crosby!"

Sid glanced at Carrie quickly, a fleeting look of panic in his eyes. He turned back towards the other woman and put on his charming smile. "Hi."

"Oh wow! My husband will not believe this. Are you looking for something for your girlfriend?"

"I don't know. Am I looking for something for my girlfriend?" Sid directed the comment towards Carrie with a smirk across his face. He was pleased thinking he got the ball back in his court.

"Not girlfriend, but maybe. One day. Not today."

"Wait, are you trying to get Carrie to be your girlfriend?" Bridget asked.

"Uh--" Sidney stammered.

"Here are those sheets you were looking for!" Carrie exclaimed and rushed around the counter to the woman towards the back of the store. "Sid needs to get going. He's got a busy week coming up!"

Carrie turned away from her coworker's retreating form and started towards Sid in the hopes to coerce him towards the exit. "Out, please. She already hates me, let's add fuel to the fire shall we?"

"Who could hate you?" Sid asked as he was being led out by Carrie. Her delicate hand was wrapped around his bicep and he could feel his skin tingling from her touch.

"She could. Now if I agree to dinner will you please go until I am done?"

"Really?" Sid asked.

"Yes, really."

"Okay."

"Okay. Meet me at XO Prime at 6:30."

"Okay, see you." Sid leaned down and brushed an innocent kiss across Carrie's cheek.

*****
Sidney secured a booth far away from the other patrons that he could go unnoticed. Not that he has anything to hide, but he was attempting to salvage a relationship with Carrie and the last thing he needed was countless interruptions. He texted her where he was sitting and he waited as the clock ticked closer to 6:30.

He was looking at Scorecenter on his phone and losing track of the Ike when Carrie intruded on his solitary moment. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

"Oh, I didn't even notice."

"We had maybe twenty transactions all day and we couldn't get the tills to balance. It was aggravating to say the least."

"And math isn't really your forte."

"Gee thanks, you butt."

"I'm just being honest with you," Sid said as his flung his hands up in defense.

"Anyway, that was why I am late. Thanks for waiting. I texted to say I was on my way."

"I never got it." They both shrugged their shoulders and fell into a slightly awkward silence. That awkwardness continued through their dinner, even as conversation picked up. They both knew how monumental this simple dinner was. As Sidney paid the check and they walked out of the restaurant, he didn't expect Carrie to reach back for his hand. And he definitely wasn't worried about a single camera flash or whispers behind him. He had her, even if for the moment, and that was enough for him.

"Where did you park?" Sid asked, not wanting to let go of her hand.

"I didn't. I walked. I live a couple blocks away from here now. You need to learn this area of the city," Carrie said.

"But it's dark and we are close to some bad parts. You aren't walking."

"Sid, I've done it plenty of times."

"You've lived here for a month. No, I'll drive you."

"Okay, but promise me something?"

"Anything?"

"Walk me to the door and kiss me goodnight?"

"Like you even had to ask," Sid grinned and turned towards his SUV, never once letting Carrie go.

Notes

Hope all you lovely readers are still enjoying this! Let me know! Thanks!