Should Have Known Better (Needlephobia)
Act 1: Scene 3
Setting: Witch Doctor’s cottage (Lindsay D’Angelo)
Enter JONATHAN from R. He looks around, as though he has lost something. He calls out for PATRICK:
JADRIAN
Patrick!!
(beat)
I CAN SEE THE NEEDLE,
IT PIERCES,
STRIKES.
I GOES DEEPER,
STUCK.
THE SYRINGE EJECTS,
A SUBSTANCE INTO THE BODY.
HE SIGHS AND SLEEPS.
BUT WHAT I CAN’T STOP FEELING,
IS THE PAIN.
NEEDLE PIERCES SKIN,
I CAN’T STAND IT.
I CRINGE.
AND PEOPLE LAUGH.
BUT WHY WOULD THEY DO,
SUCH A CRUEL THING?
WE ALL HAVE THINGS,
THAT WE ARE AFRAID OF.
BUT THEY CHOOSE TO LAUGH,
AND CALL ME A FOOL.
THEY SAY I WORK MYSELF INTO IT,
THAT THE FEAR ISN’T REAL,
BUT IT IS.
I’M NOT TRICKING MYSELF,
LYING.
LIKE THEY DO,
LIKE YOU DO.
THEY SAY IT WON’T HURT.
BUT I CAN FEEL.
THE PAIN GOES DEEPER THAN THE SKIN.
IT STRIKES MY HEART,
I’M SCARED.
WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
IF I SAID THAT YOUR FEAR,
WAS A FAKE?
A LIE?
I HIDE,
LIKE A COWARD,
I AM AFRAID TO FACE,
WHAT I AM AFRAID OF.
IT IS A NATURAL THING.
A PREY INSTINCT.
TO BE AFRAID.
AND THOSE WHO ARE,
ARE SCORNED FOR IT.
DO YOU HIDE FROM HUNGER?
OR THIRST?
DO YOU HIDE FROM LOVE?
OR HATE?
THOSE ARE NATURAL, TOO.
JUST LIKE LIFE.
I ADMIT MY FEAR.
BUT I STILL HIDE.
SO WHY MAKE FUN OF ME,
BECAUSE I AM HUMAN?
I FEEL PAIN,
YOU FEEL PAIN.
ACCEPT YOUR FEAR,
ACCEPT MY FEAR,
WE ARE ALL HUMAN…
(Enter LINDSAY from the back of the house. She comes forward, gazing at JONATHAN with interest.)
LINDSAY D’ANGELO
(surprising Jonathan)
Are you looking for me dearie?
JONATHAN
Uh, yes…Lindsay D’Angelo? The Witch Doctor?
LINDSAY
Well you’ve found me, so what do you what to know?
JONATHAN
I think I got Needlephobia...from my best friend Patrick...
LINDSAY
Ok...and I have what to do with this problem.
(she waves her hand dismissively and turns around)
Sounds like a personal issue to me?
JONATHAN
Please! I don’t want to have Needlephobia anymore! I know you’re some kind of sorceress...get the phobia out of me!
LINDSAY
(halting and spinning back to him)
You’d be right about my being a sorceress, but I don’t know…
JONATHAN
Please, I’ll do anything!
LINDSAY
Hm...how about I make you a deal?
JONATHAN
Oh ok...what?
LINDSAY
Well, I’ll take away your Needlephobia if you –in return- grant me a task...
JONATHAN
Ok what task?
LINDSAY
(sinisterly thinking)
Go on a journey and find a man named Sidney Crosby! Bring him back to me and if you succeed in that, I will grant your wish.
JONATHAN
Sidney Crosby, the hockey player?
(she nods)
Alright! Sounds easy enough!
(HE begins to leave for right stage.)
LINDSAY
(darkly)
But should you fail and not accomplish this task within a week, then you will remain a Needlephobic and you will be my slave, be-ith whatever I come up with!
JONATHAN
Uh…
LINDSAY
(even darker)
I’ll introduce you to a world that no one likes or wants to be a part of, and maybe, I’ll even introduce you to Merinthophobia...
JONATHAN
Well...ok...I don’t really want that...I’ll find Sid for you!
LINDSAY
Good, see you in a week...perhaps!
(LINDSAY races off past JONATHAN, after slowly pacing forward to touch JONATHAN’S hand with her wand. Exit her to R. JONATHAN stumbles, collapsing to the stage, gasping for air.)
JONATHAN
What’s happening? Lindsay!
(LINDSAY has vanished from sight. JONATHAN crawls off L., apparently in some unknown pain.)
Notes
Next up: Kanerboo Time!! :)
