Should Have Known Better (Needlephobia)

Setting: On a bridge with the group, then Lindsay’s Cottage
Enter from left stage, PATRICK, CRISTINA and SARA. THEY walk across a bridge slowly.

PATRICK
(turning to the others)
I may have a clue as to where Jonathan went!

SARA
Well, don’t keep it in your head! Tell us!

PATRICK
It’s just a guess…

SARA
Fine! Don’t tell us then!

PATRICK
It’s not like that. It’s just I’m not exactly sure if I’m right or not!

SARA
Well then why would you bring it up?

CRISTINA
Sara, it’s ok, Patrick is only trying to help.

PATRICK
How about this, I’ll go see if I’m right. If I am, I will contact you. I think he may be at Lindsay D’Angelo’s.

CRISTINA
Lindsay D’Angelo? Is she the sorceress lady who grants wishes with a price in return for her aid?

SARA
No I thought that was Lindsay Angelo?

CRISTINA
No, no, Lindsay Angelo is the one who teaches dance to me!

SARA
Oh! I always forget!

PATRICK
A common error, don’t fret about it!

CRISTINA
So what exactly should we do?

SARA
I can answer that question, it’s fairly simple. We continue to look for Jonathan elsewhere…just in case he comes back from wherever he was.

CRISTINA
That sounds like a plan!

SARA
(rather randomly)
But what if…Jonathan was abducted and he is being experimented on by psycho doctors with those…oh my gosh! No!

CRISTINA
Sara, it will be ok. Jonathan didn’t get Needlephobia. It’s all in your two heads!

PATRICK
But I didn’t feel like this before…

SARA
Well we’ll find Jonny and then straighten everything out.

PATRICK
Okay. So I may not have Needlephobia, like you say. But I am sure I have Merinthophobia…that’s four times as worse as Needlephobia. I have to deal with the fear of ropes, tape, string and I have to be on constant alert! Alright I’m going to go see Lindsay.

SARA
That sounds good. The more time you waste…well let’s just leave it at that.

CRISTINA
One more thing before you go Patrick, remember that Lindsay D’Angelo is known for her convincing ways. If you feel she is persuading you toward anything rational, back out immediately.

PATRICK
I’ll keep that in mind, Cris.

(ALL but PATRICK continue to walk off R.S. Stage transforms around PATRICK, as the bridge vanishes. PATRICK looks around. He comes to a house prop.)

PATRICK
Hello? Lindsay?

LINDSAY
It sounds like I have another customer. He sure sounds familiar.

(LINDSAY opens the door to the house. She pokes her head out. PATRICK awkwardly stands, eyeing her.)

LINDSAY
Well, if it isn’t the return of my beloved Merinthophobic!

PATRICK
Don’t be so shocked, Lindsay!

(LINDSAY emerges from the house now. She comes up and ruffles PATRICK’S hair and caresses his arms.)

PATRICK
Lindsay, I have a question for you?

LINDSAY
Whatever about?

PATRICK
I’m looking for someone named Jonathan Toews. He is a Needlephobic.

LINDSAY
Needlephobic? Oh yes, I do know him. He was here earlier actually. Why?

PATRICK
We need him back. You didn’t strike a deal with him did you?

LINDSAY
You know all too well about my deals.

PATRICK
I am not going to be swayed by any of your conniving manners! Not this time!

LINDSAY
Oh I highly doubt that. I can already sense that you are nervous.

PATRICK
(firmer)
I won’t be swayed, Lindsay.

LINDSAY
I’ll tell you where your little friend went…

PATRICK
Thank you.

LINDSAY
But, I would like you to go alone. If you talk to your buddies, I will kill you. If you bring your buddies with you, I will kill you. If you even so much as think about bringing your buddies along or telling them, I’ll kill you. Got it?

PATRICK
Uh, I think I’m good. I was apparently right; you do know where Jonathan is. Since that’s the case, I’ll just go tell them about it. Sara will get the truth out of you within a split second.

(PATRICK prepares to exit, leaving LINDSAY.)

LINDSAY
Not so fast, Merinthophobic!

(PATRICK turns to her.)

PATRICK
What?

LINDSAY
Technically I have told you where Jonathan is, you are technically in my bet.

PATRICK
No.

LINDSAY
Oh yes you are, if you leave and tell them you shall most definitely be killed.

PATRICK
I think you’re bluffing.

LINDSAY
Want to try it.

PATRICK
No…fine, I’ll go alone on the quest.

LINDSAY
Excellent. I sent Jonathan off to find Sidney Crosby.

PATRICK
You didn’t.

LINDSAY
I did. Sidney is my partner, my dear friend.

PATRICK
I know who Sidney is!!

LINDSAY
Then you will not have a problem finding Jonathan.

PATRICK
I told my friends I would be here, if I don’t come back, they’ll begin to question and come here.

LINDSAY
Well, technically that part was outside of the agreement, however, should they appear here, I will be gone. There shall be no trace of this meeting here at all.

PATRICK
They’ll come looking for me though, and if they find me on the way.

LINDSAY
They won’t. I will make you invisible to them.

PATRICK
Please don’t.

LINDSAY
If you do not accept, I will kill you, I will kill them and I will kill Jonathan. It’s your choice. You know who Sidney is.

PATRICK
Yes, I do.

LINDSAY
Farewell then, Merinthophibic!

(LINDSAY whisks off to L.S; exit her. PATRICK stumbles off to R.S. Curtain closes.)

Notes

Next up: Jonny, meet the Syringe, the evil form of the Needle