Just You and Me, Kid

Kasperi set down his suitcases in the entryway and let his gaze sweep over the apartment. It looked about the same as he remembered it, with the exception of a few missing paintings here and there. He wouldn't really miss those anyway. He returned to his car to grab the last suitcase and a box of stuff he'd brought over from Finland, before deciding which room he was going to settle into.

The apartment had three bedrooms to choose from: the first was his old room- the place Hannah had caught him jerking off and most likely the place his son was conceived. He steered clear of that one and moved to the second room: this had been 'Olli's room' before he moved in with Hannah, and had since been transformed into an office/guest bedroom. Kasperi thought it looked good that way, so he turned to the last room: Hannah's old room.

It was so empty he almost didn't recognize it. It had a bed, and a dresser- the usual things a bedroom should have. But the walls were devoid of the dozens of movie posters Hannah had covered them with, and the year-round Christmas lights were gone. In fact, Kasperi wasn't sure he'd ever seen the color the walls were actually painted due to the amount of decoration. He ran his hand along the pale green paint, slightly marred every so often with holes from tacks, and decided this wasn't a bad color for a bedroom.

It wasn't until after he finished packing his clothes away in the dresser that he wondered what Hannah would think of him choosing her old room. That wasn't weird, right? She said choose any room, and this seemed like the best room for him. After all, it was the biggest room- that's a legitimate reason for picking it. He certainly didn't have any creepy/ulterior motives like wanting to sleep in her bed, or anything like that. He just liked the room.

However, Hannah never asked which room he picked, and she hardly ever came over, so it didn’t matter. He only saw her at work, and occasionally after practice if he got dinner with her and Olli. Surprisingly, Kasperi spent most of his free time hanging out with his linemates Beau and Brandon, or some of the younger prospects hoping to make the team this year. It was not yet certain that Kasperi would be playing in Pittsburgh, so he too was fighting for a spot on the team. Regardless, they were all friends whether they ended up playing together in WBS, or here in Pittsburgh.

Kasperi patiently waited for the season to start, and to carve out a spot for himself on the team. He had done this before, and while he made the team last year because a spot opened up due to an injury, he wanted to earn his place this season. He wanted to make sure the Penguins needed him, and he played his best in the preseason to prove his point.

Before the season opener, GM Rutherford called him into his office to talk. Kasperi hoped it would be a positive meeting, but he was prepared to get sent down to Wilkes-Barre. He made sure to prove that the cocky attitude he presented last season was gone, and that he was mature and grown up.

While Rutherford did not know the details of Kasperi’s transformation, he could definitely tell he was a changed person, and a better player because of it.

“Kasperi, I’m going to be honest with you,” Rutherford started. “I wasn’t sure if we should keep you up here, or send you down to the AHL to give you some more time. I’ve talked with the coaches, training staff, some of the players, and the general consensus is that we should keep you here in Pittsburgh. We’ll still keep you on the ten game trial, just in case something comes up, but I think at the end of those first ten games we’ll all want to keep you at the NHL level.”

Kasperi was surprised at how confident Rutherford seemed in him, and he was eager to prove him right. The regular season started without a hitch. He had a point in the first two games, and even had a goal in his third game. However, after practice the next day, something came up that might throw a wrench in his plans.

“Kasperi!” Someone called after him as he was walking out of Consol, and he turned around to see it was Hannah. ‘She probably wants to check in on the apartment, make sure I haven’t trashed the place,’ he thought as he waited for her to catch up.

“What’s up?” He asked. “Is this about the apartment? Because so far I think I’ve paid all the bills on time, and I’ve been keeping it clean, and-”

“No, but thanks. It’s actually about something else,” she looked around and pulled him off to the side so they wouldn’t be interrupted. “Beth called yesterday and she said she wants to visit next week. With Finn.”

Kasperi felt like someone had squeezed his heart, and let go suddenly, sending it into overdrive. He finally blinked a few times and took a deep breath, aware that he had been holding his breath. Kasperi slowly exhaled and tried to wrap his head around what this meant: he was going to see his son for the first time. He was going to see that tiny little thing that had caused him so much trouble, yet changed him so much.

“Okay,” he took another deep breath, as if to psych himself up. “Okay. He’ll be here next week?”

Hannah nodded.

“And they’re both staying with you guys?”

“Yeah, that’s why I was asking Duper about borrowing a crib.”

Kasperi nodded; he vaguely remembered there being some talk in the locker room about Hannah needing a crib, and some rumors speculating why she needed it. He’d never thought of this- somehow the fact that she might need it for her nephew never crossed his mind.

“How long are they staying?” He asked.

“A week. You guys have a few home games that week, so you have the whole week to see him. If you want to,” Hannah added.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he mumbled, still caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, and left to go home. He really didn’t know what to do with this situation. The more he thought about it, the more scared he got. Yet he wanted to be prepared to see Finn, and not let it affect him too much on the ice.

He wanted to talk to someone about it, but at the same time, he didn’t want to tell any more people about it than necessary. So that ruled out anyone on the team (except Olli of course, but he wasn’t sure he could help.) He looked through his phone and thought of maybe texting someone back home. As he scrolled through his contacts, he kept stopping in the ‘S’ section where Satu’s name should have been. She would be the perfect one to talk about this with. She would know what to say, and how to cheer him up, like she always did. But he had ruined that, and it was his own fault that she wasn’t speaking to him.

He put his phone away and got up to make some coffee. Seeing that he was (still) out, he made a note to pick some up next time he was at the store, and headed out to his favorite coffee shop. The cool October air cleared his head a little, and he knew once he had some caffeine he could think more straight.

There were a couple of cute girls ahead of him in line, and they both ordered a pumpkin spice lattes. ‘Satu would never order something so girly,’ he thought, and shook his head. He needed to stop comparing every girl to her. She was gone, and he needed to move on. He ordered his coffee quickly and left, ignoring the looks and subtle comments from the pumpkin spice latte girls.

Kasperi had not had much of a chance to look around his new neighborhood since moving to Pittsburgh, so he decided to take a walk. Somehow, whether it was his subconscious that led him there or not, he ended up in a local park watching kids play on the playground with their parents. There was one dad there, pushing his giggling daughter on the swingset, and Kasperi envied him.

‘I could never do that.’ He thought. ‘I would never be brave enough to take my kid to a park around all of these moms. They know what they’re doing, they’re pros. But me? I’m just a kid. But,’ he laughed, and added out loud, “I’m a dad.”

“Are one of these yours?” A woman near him asked. He hadn’t even seen her; if he had he probably wouldn’t have said anything to himself out loud.

He jumped, startled at her voice, and turned to look at her. She was wearing workout clothes, like she’d been running, and had a stroller with her that she was rocking back and forth. She kept checking it, like she wanted to make sure her baby was still in it.

“No,” Kasperi laughed nervously. “I have a kid, but he’s too young to play here.”

“How old is he? Annabelle is almost a year,” she said, looking down at Annabelle again.

“Uhh he’s….” Kasperi did some quick math. “About three months.”

“Aww they’re so cute at that age. I’m Kim, by the way,” she held out her hand.

“Kasperi,” he said and shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you Kasperi. I have to get her home before she starts fussing, but maybe I’ll see you around here sometime.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around,” he said and she started jogging with her stroller again.

‘I could do that,’ he thought. ‘I could run with Finn in a stroller. I bet he’d like that.’ He left the park feeling a little better and more positive about Finn’s visit.

Notes

Sorry for the long wait between updates! I've been working on seven new chapters of Film Strips and Hockey Sticks (which I have just completed and can now be found on Amazon!)
The next two chapters are almost done and should be up this week!
Thanks for reading!
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