Walking into the house and shutting the door it seemed extremely quiet in the house. I set down my two bags of stuff that I had got by the table by the door and threw my keys on the table. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized I had half an hour till I needed to get Avalon. Sliding off my shoes I made my way into the den figuring that's where Ryan would be. I knew I needed to speak with him and now would be the time with Ava at school. That way if we got into a fight than she wouldn't witness it. I was really hoping it wouldn't turn into a fight though.

I noticed that the large flat screen tv on the den wall was on and looked over to the couch to find Ryan sprawled out on it. He had one of his arms thrown over his eyes. I hoped to god that he wasn't asleep or if he was that he hadn't been for that long. I walked slowly over to the couch and to the side of it. I bent over slightly and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ryan," I said softly, shaking his shoulder a little.

All I got in return was a few mumbled words and he turned over on the couch so his face was facing the back of the couch. I sighed and shook my head.

"Ryan," I said a little louder, again shaking his shoulder.

"Leave me alone," he mumbled.

"Ryan get up we need to talk," I said a little more loudly, and instead of shaking his shoulder this time. I gave it a little shove, not a hard one but a soft one.

"What?...... Oh now you want to talk," he mumbled while sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"I never said I didn't want to talk Ryan and you know that. But you've been avoiding me. So Ava's still at school. You and I both are here, so we should talk," I stated.

"What's there to talk about Maddison?" he asked, now looking up at me from where he was still sitting, since I was still standing.

"Oh I don't know Ry, everything." I said sarcastically.

In return to that he made a sound between a grunt and a snort, while rolling his eyes at me.

"And that's another thing, what the hell's gotten into Ryan? We used to talk about anything and everything. Whenever something was bugging one of us, remember we promised to talk with each other. But ever since that day I left Florida with Avalon something's been going on with you and I want to know what the hell it is," I said in a slightly demanding tone.

"Yeah well things change Maddison," he said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Ryan I want to know what is going on," I stated.

"Nothing, nothing important. People just change sometimes Maddison. Sometimes they change for the better and sometimes they change for the worse. So just drop it," he sighed, standing up and heading for the doorway to leave the room.

"Well obviously it was something important if you were going to tell me. You just never got the chance to tell me. And once again what the hell does that even mean Ryan?" I asked angrily, standing up and grabbing his wrist lightly so he couldn't leave the room.

"God Maddison Just Drop It," He snapped turning to look at me and yanking his wrist free from my grasp.

I'm not sure if it was the look in his eyes, because I had never seen him look that angry before. Or the strength he used to yank his wrist free, not realizing how hard he was yanking. But I started stumbling forwards losing my blance slightly. I was certain I was going to do a face plant into the wood floor of the den. But instinctively Ryan's hands reached out and steadied my shoulders, I flinched slightly at the contact.

"What is wrong with you Ryan? This isn't you," I said quietly, shaking my head and taking step. I wrapped my arms around my middle, hugging myself.

"Maddison I'm sorry. It's....... It's just I knew this would happen when we got here," he sighed, running a hand down his face.

"That what would happen?" I asked confusedly, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"That you would go to him. Find comfort with him," he replied, his voice sounding defeated.

"Go to who?" I asked even more confused, looking at him.

"Him," he responded, with a 'duh' tone.

"Ryan him who? I don't speak in riddles and I would appreciate it if you didn't either," I said.

"Zach, that's who." he replied, looking at me.

"What does Zach have to do with this? With us and what's going on ?" I asked, even more confused as to why Zach was being pulled into this.

"Zach Parise has every fucking thing to do with this. I knew as soon as we got here and you found out that he was here that you would go running to him," he responded, I could tell he was getting angry again by his eyes.

"What does that mean? Wait you knew Zach was here and didn't tell me........ Of course you did. Now I get it this is what you were trying to tell me before I left Florida, isn't it?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter," he replied, sounding defeated again.

"Of course it matters Ryan. It matters to me. It would have been nice to be warned that Zach was here. But what I don't get is why the rivalry Ryan? You two have had this rivalry since we we're all Pre-teens. What did Zach ever do to you? What did he kick your dog when you were kids or something?" I asked, clearly interested in his answer.

"You don't get it," he said angrily, shaking his head.

"Than explain it to me Ry," I said gently, reaching out to touch him but pulled my hand back.

"Explain it to you. Fine I'll explain it to you in simple terms so you do understand. It always about Zach Fucking Parise. It's always been about him, since juniors. About his style, his talent, how he was going to have no problems making it into the league. While the rest of us had to work our asses off to make it," he hissed.

"Don't you think he worked for it to," I whispered, trying to not make him angrier.

"No I don't. Like I said he gets everything so fucking easily. He always has to win. Always gets want he wants. Always gets the girls he wants. Even if that girl doesn't want him. But I knew as soon as we got here and you found out that he was here, you would go running to him for comfort. That as soon as you found out HE WAS AVALONS FATHER YOU WOULD GO RUNNING BACK TO HIM." He finished angrily and breathing heavily.

I was about to correct him on the whole Zach always winning thing and about things being easy for him. Also about me running to Zach for comfort. When something he said at the end registered in my brain. [i]'He knew... He knew already that Zach was Avalons father.... He knew this whole time'[/i] I thought angrily.

"You knew?" I asked shakily, my eyes filling with tears.

"Maddison," he said carefully, realizing his mistake.

"NO YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME AND DIDN'T SAY A GOD DAMN WORD TO ME. I MEAN I CAN ALMOST UNDERSTAND ALLY AND TRAVIS'S REASONING BEHIND NOT TELLING ME, ALMOST. BUT YOU...... YOU KNEW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO REMEMBER WHO AVA'S FATHER WAS. TO FIND OUT WHO HER FATHER WAS AND YOU KNEW AND YOU FUCKING KEPT THAT FROM ME. I TRUSTED YOU RYAN AND NOW......... NOW I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU OR TALK TO YOU." I yelled angrily, shaking my head as the tears started running down my cheeks.

Ryan took a step towards me holding out his arms like he was going to hug me or try to comfort me.

"Don't.... Don't even come near me.... Don't touch me," I snapped holding a hand up to stop him from coming near me. Shaking my head again and stepping back.

I had to get out of the house. I felt like everything I knew or thought I knew was collapsing down around me. I couldn't stay there or I was going to have a panic attack. I literally felt sick, from shaking as badly as I was. I hurried back to front entry way and slipped my shoes back on, grabbing my keys. I hurried out the front door to my vehicle, just as the first sounds of thunder sounded in the distance.

[i]'How ironic that once again when something happens in my life the weather matches my mood'[/i] I thought, as I tore out of the driveway and headed to Ava's school.

I was so hurt by Ryan, I couldn't believe that he would've ever hurt me like that. That he had lied to me for so long and kept this secret from me. But the biggest thing was the way in one sentence he destroyed my trust. Ally and Travis I could see myself forgiving them after a few days. But Ryan I didn't know if I could ever forgive him for lying to me.

Pulling up to Avalons school and parking. I took a deep breath and wiped under my eyes. Than plastered a big fake smile on my face and headed into the school.

***************************************************************

Once again when I walked down the kindergarten hallway I found Zach sitting with Avalon, and his daughter and son. Well I guess I could now say daughters and son. As I walked down the hallway Zach must have heard my footsteps and looked up. Once he did though I wish he hadn't, because he had a worried expression on his his when he looked at me. [i]'Or maybe he's worried about how I'll react to him waiting with our daughter'[/i] I thought.

The sound of that had a nice ring to it in my head. Also this was the first time I had seen him since the other day, when I hadn't gotten to talk to him. I tried to conjure up a smile for him as I walked up to him, but it was a very weak attempt. I could see the question in his eyes and knew we needed to talk, but right now I didn't feel like talking with anybody else.

Zach stood up and walked over to me. He lightly pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly, so the kids couldn't hear.

"I'll be okey dokey," I replied, not looking him in the eyes.

"Maddi," he said.

"I don't want to talk about it Zach," I said with a little snap in it. I saw the hurt in Zachs eyes from me snapping. "I'm sorry Zach. I just don't feel like talking about it right now."

"If your sure Maddi," he said.

"I'm sure," I answered.

"Momma, momma," Avalon said, rushing over to me.

"Hey sweetie," I replied, squatting down to her level and hugging her.

"Momma I wanna go over to Mariann's tonight and spend the night, can I? Mr. Zach said I could," Ava said excitedly.

My eyes flicked up to Zach at that and saw the semi guilty look on his face.

"Now Ava. I said we'd ask your mom if you could. But that's up to her if you can," Zach responded, looking straight at me with hope in his eyes.

"Please..... Please momma.... I really really wanna go..... Can I please stay with Mari?" Ava pleaded with me, turning her big brown eyes on me.

"I don't know Ava. It's a school night and I'm not so sure that's a good idea," I answered her, I watched as her little face dropped. Out of the corner of my eye I could also see the hurt look on Zachs face.

I could tell he probably thought I was saying I didn't want him spending any time with his daughter. Which is exactly the opposite of what I wanted him to think. I bite on my bottom lip thinking, maybe it would be better for her to go with him. Since I didn't know where I was going to go after this.

"Please...... Please....... Please..... Please..... Please........ Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease," Ava was still begging and had now recruited Mariann to join her.

"Alright... Alright you can go," I answered.

Both girls squealed and started jumping up and down. Than rushed back over to the bench, telling little Michael the news.

"Thank you," Zach said quietly.

"Are you sure this is ok?" I asked just as quietly, my eyes flicking to the girls.

"They'll be fine and have tons of fun. Plus Mari will have someone to dress up with," he responded with a smile.

"What about Alisha?" I sighed, hoping that wouldn't start yet another argument.

"Alisha won't be there so you don't have to worry about that." he answered, looking at me. "Maddi we need to talk. About this sometime, you know?"

"I know Zach. I know. Just not today," I responded.

Zach nodded in response. After that I went over and gave Ava a big hug and once again made sure Zach would be ok with three kids. After reassuring me that he would be fine. I turned and left, now trying to figure out where I was headed for the night.