There's something about Kaner...
A little known fact that could really hurt Chicago's leading goal scorer!

Patrick Kane is deathly afraid of snakes. Any kind. Any color. Any size. Snakes freak him out and one day, a fan decided to test that. (Go ahead, google it, but it's true!)

Amanda O'Yorr, a hardcore Irish Boston Bruin fan, is the average hockey fanatic. She is loyal to the Bruins, but also a budding Blackhawks fan. She is 23 years old and a golden blonde woman from the South End of Boston. Known as a Southie and with a thick accent, Amanda is a risk taker.

And she has a few problems.

She's got serious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), slight Bipolar disorder and Dissociative disorder, which is one that involves multiple personalities. She loves to talk to herself and is often referred to as "awkward." But she is loved and cared for.

However when she has an idea, she normally follows through and such is the case when she discovers her new favorite hockey player's greatest fear. Unable to shake the thought, she convinces her parents to get tickets to a Blackhawks-Bruins game and test her idea out.

The following is her story and what went down.

****

The story begins in Buffalo, New York, where a young boy has been born to a sweet couple. His name is Patrick Timothy Kane Jr. and he is a healthy blond haired, blue-eyed kid. And he is into hockey. He often goes to the rink to play with his childhood friends. He doesn’t know it, but he will become a superstar in the NHL, as a part of the team called the Chicago Blackhawks. But for now, he is striving to have fun and play a sport he likes.

He is often labeled as small and weak, but no one can deny the talent that he possesses. And those magical hands of his. He is skilled with a puck and though he isn’t a fighter or a big tough guy, he can make goalie’s fear him. And many do.

As he grows up, his skills sharpen and he stuns crowds, girls and gathers quite a fanbase. He makes it to the NHL draft, where he is taken first overall by the Chicago Blackhawks. The talent is there and he quickly makes it onto the roster.

And that is when things get interesting for our story. You see, when Patrick Kane makes the roster, he is partnered with a young brunette centerman. This is Jonathan Toews, in case you are so ignorant. And the two instantly hit off. In fact they not only become close best friends, but they become brothers. They have one another’s backs and they grow up as Hawks together.

There are many fans that they get. A good portion of female fans. One of them is the crazy Amanda. During a Bruins-Blackhawks match-up in 2011, Amanda gets tickets to her first game as a hardcore Boston Bruins fan. She is the stereotypical Boston fan too, loud, obnoxious, has the mouth of a sailor and with a thick accent...the whole schbang.

At the start of the game, she spots her favorite two players in the lineup, the talented two-way forward Patrice Bergeron and his winger-in-command, Reilly Smith. Patrice is lined up across from the Blackhawks’ best centerman, Jonathan Toews. The puck drops and Patrice wins it and gets it to Reilly.

“Yeah, suck it you fucking Hawk!” Amanda screams.

Patrice does his “Patrice Bergeron” stuff, being amazing and showing off all of his awesomeness. Brad Marchand slams into Jonathan, lighting him up and also drawing the ire of Patrick Kane. Patrick gives Brad a few words. Brad cross checks him a few times, trying to bait him, but Patrick escapes and joins Jonathan, who passes him the puck. Reilly grabs Brad and drags him to the bench. As soon as the whole line makes the change, Patrick does a cool spin-o-rama move around Andrew Ference and shoots at the goal.

Nothing but net for the young blondie. He does his celebration and is joined by his teammates.

Amanda stares at the ice and the celebration in disbelief. She is curious to know who this “Kane” guy is. And she isn’t sad about the goal...rather intrigued. She watches the replay on the JumboTron and looks back down to see one of the Hawks - Jonathan - giving the goalscorer an extra pat on the helmet as they sit down in the bench.

“Patrick Kane?” Amanda repeats to herself as she continues watching the game.

Patrick gets another goal and an assist to a Jonathan Toews goal. The game goes into Overtime and then eventually into a Shootout. Amanda watches as the first two skaters go and then spots the familiar blond take his spot. She cocks her head with interest and watches as he scoops the puck to his blade, pulls some tricky stickhandling moves and messes with his speed. The Bruins’ goalie is mesmerized and Patrick makes him pay.

Amanda is stunned by the skill and the talent of the young man. And she is thrilled as the Hawks take the win. “I must find out who this Patrick Kane is…”

(This is literally me when I first watched Kaner...it wasn’t a Bruins matchup, but it was a highlight-reel shootout type goal….I think it was actually more like a one-on-one and it was during the 2013 playoffs or Final. Kaner is hands down the most entertaining player to watch...Sidney Crosby can suck it!)

Amanda makes her way out of the Garden. Millions of fans are alive with energy, whether it is excitement or stunned shock. She is both. And she is determined to answer her question. She has to find out who this guy is and know him. He is amazing.

She gets back to her place and instantly runs to her computer. She logs on and begins to search “Patrick Kane”. She settles in and watches a ton of videos and a ton of articles. She learns all about him and just who he is. She also comes across Jonathan Toews. And before long she realizes that she is a Blackhawks fan.

Amanda also discovers a particular fascinating article on Patrick Kane. It is facts about him, including a certain fact about his fear or phobia.

“It’s always snakes, isn’t it?” she hisses to herself. “Well, let see just how scared of snakes you really are, Kanerboo. What would you do if I threw a snake at you?”

So she draws up a plan.

(Okay, when I first got this idea it was really cool, but now I feel like I hate it and it’s just one that should stay in my head...but I’m gonna finish it.)

****

2013

Blackhawks vs Bruins - Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final

After the Hawks pull off the unbelievable and kill the Kings in the last game, they are set to go against the Bruins. It is an ideal matchup and one that will be extremely exciting. However Amanda is ready to put her plan into action. She has spent the entire day getting a realistic-looking snake toy with which she can chuck on the ice.

Since it is only the first game of the series, what harm can it do? Right?

So she makes her way to her seat, which she has gotten purposefully to the side of the penalty box. She takes her seat and situates her bag. Considering that she could have tested it during the warm-ups, she ultimates decides that it will be better during the game. She rubs her hands together, as she spots Jonathan and Patrick having a conversation at the bench.

Patrick is facing her and he looks up and spots her. He seems to make a weird face at her, but focuses on his friend once more. He says something to Jonathan, before they launch toward center ice and pass a puck back and forth.

Soon the game begins and the arena becomes alive with noise as the pucks drops at the dot and the game is underway. Amanda barely pays any attention to her Bruins players and team, as he eyes are focused on the Blackhawk pairing. She taps her back and grins wickedly.

Suddenly the whistle blows. Patrick is called for a controversial hooked call. He is complaining to the ref and trying to justify his case, but is ultimately directed to the penalty box. He takes a seat and removes his helmet. He looks to the side to see Amanda giving him a creepy look.

“Would you quit looking at me like that?” Patrick snaps at her. “What did I do to you?”

“You were born,” Amanda retorts.

“Wow, okay, look I don’t know you lady, but I’ve learned to deal with your kind, so...” Patrick shrugs and sticks his tongue out, juvenilely.

“You’re gonna wish you never did that, sweetheart!”

“What are you, a Hollywood villain? Shut up Bruin lover!”

“You really wanna test me, do ya?”

“Look, get over yourself, okay?!” Patrick stands up and roughly puts his helmet back on his head. He skates out of the penalty box and into the play.

Amanda snickers to herself. “Let’s so how well you play under pressure or angry, Kanerboo.” She watches as he taps his stick and receives a clean pass from Jonathan Toews. He one-times it at the goal with his accurate shot and manages to sneak it just over the glove hand and into the net.

“YEAH!!” Patrick screams.

Amanda can hear him. She claps her hands. That makes two goals. One more and Patrick has another playoff hat trick. And the game is only in the second period. She can see the blond do his celebration and turn in her direction. She hopes that he is called for another penalty, so she can chat with him some more.

However she spots him chatting with Jonathan to the bench. Jonathan looks over toward her and shakes his head. They step into the bench.

A little later on at the start of the third period, the score is an even 2-2 (a goal from Reilly and a goal from Patrice) and Patrick is called for tripping this time. He doesn’t protest this one, but he isn’t happy about having to go back to the box….with Amanda.

“Hey Kanerboo,” Amanda slyly remarked.

“Don’t call me that! What is your problem?”

“Look, I’m helping you out...I’m one of your fans, so don’t worry I’m not going to chirp you anymore. My name’s Amanda.”

Patrick looks at her suspiciously and then glances at the clock. One minute remaining for the penalty. “Well, I guess I should be grateful to you, you really fired me out out there...Amanda.”

“Why don’t you go out there and get a hat trick and end this thing?”

“Maybe I will. Glad we had this talk and I guess I should update Jonny about this too!” Patrick jumps up and springs from the box. He receives a long stretch pass from Brent Seabrook and bolts for the goal on a breakaway chance. But his attempt is snuffed out by the goalie, who smothers his try.

Patrick skates to the bench and sits down beside Jonathan. Amanda can see him talking to Jonathan and flicking his head over at her. With the score still knotted at 2-2, the game goes into sudden death overtime. The Blackhawks start Jonathan and Patrick with Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith.

Two minutes into the overtime period, Jonathan and Patrick hop over the bench and onto the ice. They share a look, like “let’s end this”. Jonathan wins the faceoff against a Bruin, who isn’t Patrice Bergeron. He kicks the puck to Patrick, who takes it and launches forward. Jonathan eventually flanks him and they play a game of give-and-go.

Amanda sees Claude Julien, the Bruins’ coach irate and screaming on the bench. She turns back to see Patrick do his spin-o-rama thing and get the puck from Jonathan who is slammed into by Johnny Boychuk. Patrick quickly backhands the disc into the corner of the goal. 3-2 Blackhawks.

Blackhawks win!

Amanda reaches into her bag as the hats fly and the celebration begins. Everyone gathers around Patrick and Jonathan on the ice as the hats continue to fly onto the ice. Amanda holds the snake in her hands, waiting for the proper moment. Finally Patrick splits from the group and they skate toward the center of the ice. Jonathan is close on his heels.

Amanda nods, smirks and lets the snake fly onto the ice. It lands on Patrick’s shoulder and falls down in front of him. He shrieks in fright and throws his stick and gloves down to the ice and jumps into Jonathan’s arms.

“JONNY!!” he screams.

Patrick wraps his arms around his teammate’s neck. Amanda has her phone out and ready. She snaps a picture, before Jonathan dumps Patrick on the ice.

“Don’t do that again you chicken, it’s a fake snake!”

“I don’t know that!” Patrick snaps, scrambling to his skates once more and brushing himself off. He looks at the snake, still worried. Jonathan sighs and skates over and snatches it up. He holds it out to Patrick, who flinches and shies away at first, before he musters his courage and touches it. He draws back at once but then touches it again and then takes it.

“Holy crap it IS fake!”

“See? Nothing to worry about, Kaner.”

“Where’d it come from though?”

“I don’t know, but come on let’s get out of here. Great hat trick and effort tonight Peeks!”

Patrick smiles at his friend as they skate to the crowd still gathered around the goalie and celebrating the win. The Bruins had already left the ice. They assume their positions for the exit, with them both standing together by the door to the tunnel and bench. They both high-five their teammates with cheers and “yeah”s and then Patrick hugs Jonathan and skates over for the post-game interview.

Amanda exits the arena grinning. She’s seen enough and also, she’s had enough. As she leaves, she flips through her pictures, smirking.

And...

Now she knows what will happen if a snake is thrown at Patrick Kane!

Notes

Okay, so I partly lied, there will one coming up with totally new characters not Kaner, Tazer or Val, I promise...but some of you might remember this one, well I finally felt the inspiration to finally finish off this idea. I still don't like how it came out and it was much better as an idea to begin with long ago...but oh well. It'll work for now...

Anyway...the actual notes:

Just trying something out....

**This is gonna loosely be based on an idea that I continue to get...I'd love to go to a Blackhawks game and just shout out "Kanerboo!" but I'd also love to see what would happen if I threw a snake on the ice. Ever since I found out about Patrick Kane's fear, I've been wanting so badly to see how scared he is. I would never sabotage the Blackhawks or a Kaner goal, but say, Kanerboo gets a hat trick, instead of a hat, I'd chuck that snake at him!

Ophidiophobia means "fear" or "phobia" of snakes. And according to interview sources on the web, the Chicago Blackhawks own Patrick Kane possesses the phobia. So what happens when his fear is tested during a game?

Definition per Wiki:
Ophidiophobia or Ophiophobia is a particular type of specific phobia, the abnormal fear of snakes. Fear of snakes is sometimes called by a more general term, herpetophobia, fear of reptiles and/or amphibians.

Article that reveals Kaner’s secret phobia:
http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/2014/02/01/2014-winter-olympics-10-interesting-facts-about-patrick-kane/- Here's the article that talks about Kanerboo's fear :PP