My Knight in Shining Armor

“Can we stop the horses?” Jonathan asks, as they come to a fork in their journey to Valencia. They have learned that that is where Queen Taylor and Tyler Seguin have gone. But the noble knight needs a break. He is still out of shape, but has been getting more fit. (His struggle is more mental than physical here.)

“Ugh, what’s wrong with you? All you’ve done since we’ve left is complain,” Patrick sighs. “You’re supposed to be a bloody hero?”

Jonathan jumps off his horse in one leap and eyes the blond over the animal’s back. “And I’ve got every intention of being one Prince Patrick, I’m going to save Tyler Seguin, I’m going to get your kingdom back...there’s going to be some pretty impressive, legendary hero-ing happening around here real soon!”

“Whatever, what time is it?” Patrick asks, with an exaggerated sigh.

Jonathan turns, licks his finger and lifts it into the air. “It’s going to be dark soon, and this forest will be crawling with bad guys who will want nothing more than to have their way with your tiny white boy body.”

Patrick gasps and then exclaims, “How dare you!?” He turns to the bold knight at once.

“I was talking to Val. I say we find some place and hunker down for the night.”

Val gives him a scolding look, as he jumps off of his horse. They continue on, searching for a place to rest. They finally find an abandoned camp and take refuge in it. Before it gets dark though, Patrick takes Jonathan to a secret open patch of grass, while Val looks for wood and is told to get everything set up.

Patrick spins Jonathan to face him, lightly gripping his arms. “Alright, we’re going to start getting you back in shape, with the little sunlight we have, what better time can we start the training like now. Ready?”

“Sure. Ready.”

“Good, now get your sword.”

Jonathan gets his sword and engages Patrick in a fight. They continue their training and by the end, Jonathan looks strong and confident in himself once again. They head back to the camp, where Val has set everything up and is sitting on a log, roasting a marshmallow on a stick.

“We eat together.” Jonathan sings.

“We drink together,” Patrick sings.

“We work in perfect sync together,” Val sings.

“We smile…” Jonathan sings.

“Frown…” Patrick sings.

“Blink…” Val sings.

“Together completely.
We walk together,
In time together,” they all sing together.

“Can’t help,” Jonathan kicks off the solo singing once more.

“Yelp.” Patrick sings.

“Kelp…” Val sings.

“But rhyme together.
Our voices chime together so neatly.
And togetherness is what we do,
Together me and him and you,” they all sing in unison.

“Like rock,” Jonathan sings.

“And scissors,” Patrick sings.

“And paper,” Val sings.

“And stuck together,” Jonathan sings.

“All day together,” Patrick sings.

“We’re in each other’s way together,” Val sings.

“Our quirks are on display together,” Patrick chuckles, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Or nearly,” Jonathan sings.

“They fight together,” Patrick sings, as Jonathan and Val begin bickering with each other and get into a shoving match.

“They glare together,” Val sings, as Patrick and Jonathan hold a staring match now.

“We breathe each other’s air together,” they all sing.

“We watch him do his hair together,” Jonathan and Patrick sing, as they watch Val doing his hair.

Val sighs and turns from them. “Come on, really?”

“But togetherness will see us through,” they all sing.

“Unless I kill the other two,” Patrick sings, shoving Jonathan and Val to the side.

The knight and his squire pop back up and lean backward, talking behind Patrick’s back, “Or we kill him together.”

Patrick leans forward and gets to his feet. He walks to the side and acts like he’s straightening his hair curls of something, as he sings,

“But there’s some things we don’t share,
Like the way I’ve kind of, sort of, totally played him.
Oh, God, I betrayed him.”

Jonathan watches Patrick playing with his hair and grinning a sly smirk. He glances up and smiles back, waving, as he sings,

“And there’s some things we don’t share,
Like I’m kind of, sort of, always thinking about him.”

Val looks at both of them exchanging awkward glances and being awkward in general. He grumbles and sings, “Or like how you both ignore me all of the--”

“Each day together’s
A chore together,” Jonathan and Patrick sing.

“A complaining…” Jonathan sings.

“Nagging…” Patrick sings.

“Bore…” Val sings, faking a yawn.

“Together,” they all sing.

“Then listening to her snore together,” Jonathan and Val sing, as they lie down in their tent, set up. Patrick is already fast asleep, "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

“It’s like he’s a bear…eh?” Jonathan whispers.

They wake up the next day and continue on their journey through more woods.

“But together, though, is what we’ll be.
For what feels like eternity.
Together…” the three sing.

“Me…” Jonathan exclaims, stepping forward.

“And me...” Patrick exclaims, stepping forward and pushing Jonathan out of the way. He stands tall and proud, flashing a classic smirk.

“And me...” Val exclaims, pushing Patrick to the side and standing tall.

“As one,” they sing.

“As one!!” Patrick sings out.

“As one!!” Val sings out.

“As--” they all sing in unison.

“Oooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee!” Jonathan sings out, pushing the two out of the way.

“Hey, you say I could get lead this time!” Val whines. “Jonny!”

“Sorry, Val. Next time, okay?” the brunette knight says, putting a hand on his squire’s shoulder.

“Okay…” the Russian looks to his feet, disappointed.

“Let’s continue on and stop wasting time singing. The quicker and sooner we can get to Valencia, the better!”

“For Tyler?” Patrick questions, rather annoyed.

“I have to save him, my one true love!” Jonathan exclaims, raising his head up in pride.

“Sort of…” Patrick whispers to himself.

Suddenly he hops flicks the reins of his horse and launches off, ahead of them. Jonathan and Val share a look, but stay back.

“Should we--?” Val begins.

“No, let him be...something's up and he just needs a few moments. Trust me.” The knight looks slightly ashamed and he feels something new, something burning inside him. He watches the blond gallop off from them. What’s wrong with me? I love Tyler Seguin, not Patrick Kane!

Notes

“It’s going to be dark soon, and this forest will be crawling with bad guys who will want nothing more than to have their way with your tiny white boy body.”
Patrick gasps and then exclaims, “How dare you!?” He turns to the bold knight at once.
“I was talking to Val. I say we find some place and hunker down for the night.”
- This always cracks me up. It did in Galavant, but especially with this, I had to keep it in. Jonny's silly. :P


Next up: Kaner's Solo Song to Jonny (Courtesy of A Shruinger)