Never Let Go.

“Jamie I look like a damn whale,” I stood in front of the laptop perched on our bed with my hands on my hips. The white t-shirt I had on was working overtime to cover my bump as I struggled to get dressed for my baby shower. “Babe you look gorgeo-,” I cut him off holding up a hand to the screen, “Shut up Benn. Do not call me gorgeous until I get this child out of me.”

He laughed and shook his head, “By the way your daughter has been kicking me in the ribs ALL morning, I think she misses her daddy.” The smile on Jamie’s face was adorable, as much as pregnancy sucked I couldn’t wait to see our little girl and how my husband would be with her. “I miss her too, and her mama. Just a few more days’ babe,” Skype calls had become a frequent occurrence in our house now that I was officially on maternity leave and Jamie was off chasing the cup.

I finished getting dressed in a pink blazer to match the theme while talking with Jamie about tonight’s game and last minute things that needed to be done in the nursery. When I was done and had managed to get my shoes on by myself I stood before the laptop and presented the finished product. I got a failed attempt at a whistle from my husband when I heard the alarm beep and Lauren scream up the stairs, “baby mama, you’re taxi is here.” I laughed at my dorky best friend, “Alright babe, I have to go so they can “shower” me. I love you! Good luck tonight, we’ll be watching.” He smiled as I patted my stomach when I said “we”, “Love you too Kier, have fun.”

One last look in the mirror I shut the laptop, grabbed my purse and waddled my way down the stairs. Lauren was leaning over the island, “Look at you hot mama!” she cheered as I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, and please tell me there’s food at this? Len’s hungry!” Lauren linked her arm with mine and led me towards the door, “Of course there is food. We can’t not feed the pregasourous rex!” That earned her a slap on the arm as I climbed into her Lexus, “You’re lucky I love you bitch.”

With a schedule busier than mine Lauren had somehow managed to plan the most amazing baby shower I had ever been too. Then again maybe I was biased because it was my shower. She had turned one of the banquet rooms of the country club her parent’s belong to into an explosion of all things pink. Pink flowers, pink plates, pink lemonade, pink dipped strawberries; she had thought of it all. A banner across the room read, “Welcome Lennan Victoria!” and screen showed all of her sonogram pictures and the videos we had gotten from the 3D and 4D scans. Everything was perfect.

Guests piled in all of the WAGS from the team, girls from work, my mom’s friends, some old friends from high school and college and my sister in-law Morgan and her mom Trish made the drive up from Houston. I felt overwhelmed from all of the love in the room for not only me but also my precious little girl. She wasn’t even here yet but she was loved immensely and she was for sure going to have the cutest clothes.

Bag after bag proved that women cannot contain themselves when it comes to baby shopping. Onesies for days and bows in every shape, size and color stacked up along with toys and the cutest pairs of shoes. There was also a stack for Dallas Stars apparel, if they made the jersey in kid size Lennan now had it. Almost every player in an array of sizes, she was definitely set for her first couple of hockey seasons. The jerseys went well with a crocheted pair of victory green “skates” and helmet. They were so cute and would for sure be used for her newborn pictures.

My face hurt so much from smiling at all of the gifts and from laughing while the party goers played some of the most ridiculous games I had ever seen. I couldn’t thank Lauren enough for throwing me this party to celebrate our little girl! Now we just had to get her here, at 7 and a half months I’m ready for her to make her appearance. But I know she needs a little more time in the oven before she’s perfect.

With the help of my mom, Lauren’s mom, Morgan, and her mom we got all of Lennan’s things moved into the nursery. The hardwood floor was now a sea of pink bags and boxes over flowing with clothing, blankets, and décor. Staring at the floor snapped me back into “nesting” mode and I knew what I would be doing while watching Jamie’s game.

As the girls left one by one telling both Lennan and I goodbye, a hand rested on my shoulder and I turned to see the smiling face of my mother. “She is so loved already Kiery, and you did an amazing job with her room.” I wrapped my arms around my mom, hugging her as close as I could with the beach ball of a belly I had between us. “Thank you mama, I can’t wait to meet her. I never knew you could love someone so much without ever meeting them.”

With gentle hands she tilted my chin up to look at her, “It’s a mom thing honey, she may never know the full extent of how much you love her but you continue to love no matter what. Just as I do with you, I am so proud of you Kieran. You and Jamie are going to be such good parents my granddaughter is very lucky.” Pregnancy hormones are not to be messed with and my mother’s sweet speech sent mine skyrocketing, the tears falling like a waterfall without warning. My mother held me as I cried a combination of happy and nervous tears until I eventually pulled myself together. Crying had become “my thing” these days and I’m sure Jamie would be glad when I was done with it. Then again once I was done, Lennan would just be beginning and a baby’s cry is much worse than the sobs of a hormonal pregnant woman.

When I was settled and my mother had left for a date night with my dad I showered and changed into leggings and one of Jamie’s Stars shirts, as most of mine were no longer fitting me. I brought my laptop into the nursery set it up to broadcast the game and began unpacking bag after bag. Watching her closet fill up with the cutest clothes warmed my heart, I could not wait to dress my little angel.

As the game played each time I heard Jamie or any of the guys’ name that we are close to being said I couldn’t help but talk to Lennan about them. Maybe listening to the game she would come out already knowledgeable of the game her father and uncles loved so much. Speaking of her uncles, Len has already been told “Uncle Jordie is your favorite” over and over and has been bribed with the promise of a Ferrari by Tyler if she says his name first. She isn’t even here yet and they are spoiling my child! But that’s what little girls are good for, they’ll steal your heart and wrap you around their little fingers without even trying.

Notes