Stockholm Syndrome

Later that night Natalia showed up with all her stuff. Her and Carl had officially broken up and she was leaving on a plane to L.A. the next day. I lie in bed in the guest room with her and pet her hair while she cried. I figured I would just sleep here tonight and give Sidney some space. I was furious with Carl for breaking her heart. I couldn’t imagine Sidney cheating on me and leaving me pregnant and alone. The brother I knew would never disrespect a woman like that. I wondered what changed and where things went wrong.

I had just gotten home after dropping Natalia off at the airport when I notice Sidney eating at the table. I take the seat across from and nervously start tapping my fingers.

“We need to talk about yesterday,” I tell him.

“Talk about what?” he asks, his eyes not leaving his food.

“Natalia was my friend and she needed me. Yes Carl is my brother but he did an inexcusable thing and he’s mad now but he’ll get over it. But I want to know why you got so upset about it yesterday.” He finally looks up at me but I can’t read his expression.

“Do you even want kids?” I’m taken aback by the question.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. He looks at me long and hard but stays silent. “In the past I always thought I didn’t want kids but then I met you and I saw a future with you. If I were to have kids that probably means my snowboarding career would be over so if I were to answer honestly, I know kids are important to you and marriage is about compromise so I don’t want kids. At least not right now.”

“Okay I can handle that.”

“Are we okay?” I ask.

“Yes. We’re okay,” he replies. I get up and go sit in his lap and he wraps his arms around me. It seemed as though as a married couple we were getting better at communicating.

I leave for Breckenridge a week later and I’m a nervous wreck.
“At least Shaun isn’t competing,” Jack says while we’re sitting around my house.

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” I reply.

“You just have to focus on semi’s today. Ignore all the other distractions. You ride well when you’re having fun. Just go out there and have some fun,” Danny adds. I pack up my stuff and we head to the mountain to compete.
I could tell that everyone was talking about me. I tried to ignore it but it was bothering me. I sit at the top of pipe with Danny the rest of the riders. I was thankful that I had Danny by my side through all this but it would feel strange competing against him. Eventually it’s my turn and I put down a very easy run. It doesn’t score all that well but I’m also not in last place and I end up just barely qualifying for finals.

“Congrats Nix!” Danny exclaims.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it to finals,” I say, still shocked. We head back to my house early to rest up for finals the next day.

I’m on my board at the top of the pipe waiting to drop in. I had overheard that there was a record number of viewers who tuned in. ‘Everyone wants to see the girl fail’ I think to myself. I had fallen on my first run and had one chance left to redeem myself. The official gives me the nod and I high five Bud and I drop in the pipe. I pull a method for my first trick and then pulled back to back 360’s. I did a mctwist followed by a switch backside air. I finished the run off with a backside 720. I feel a rush of relief as soon as I land my final trick. I wait for score. I bumped my score up to an 82.80 putting me in fifth. I was more than happy with fifth. It was the first time in two years that I didn’t get a medal in halfpipe but I still felt like I had succeeded. I made it through semi finals and beat six other guys in finals.
I go to Leah where she is waiting for me with a microphone.

“Phoenix wow. You just made history and became the first woman to compete in the men’s halfpipe competition. You may not have made the podium but fifth place out of twelve guys is really something.

“Thanks yeah it feels really good. I just really wanted to go out there and have fun. Hopefully in the near future I make the podium,” I reply smiling. I finish the interview and gear up for slopestyle.

I ended up finishing first in slopesyle so I got to go home with at least one medal.
“I’m so proud babe, you have no idea,” Sidney says on the way home from the airport.

“I seriously didn’t think I was going to make it past semi’s so when I made it through I was like shit I don’t have a run prepared,” I say smiling.

“You should be proud. You held your own. You just proved that you can hold your own against a bunch of guys,” he says proudly.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“Oh we’re going to Geno’s to watch the game. Is that okay?”

“Oh. Sure.” I hated football but I loved seeing Geno.
We get to Geno’s and we wraps me in a big bear hug.

“Favourite snowboarder,” he says proudly. We walk into his den and I see half the team sitting on couches, eating snacks.

“Phoenix!” They all yell. I wave to everyone and I see Carl in the corner. We hadn’t talked since that night in my kitchen. I sit down in between Geno and Sidney and watch the screen.

“Congrats on fifth place, that’s huge!” Beau says smiling.

“Thank you. Yeah I never thought I’d be so happy to get fifth place,” I laugh.

“Phoenix, who’s your team?” Paul asks.

“No one. I hate football,” I reply. Everyone goes quiet and stares at me.

“I knew you were too good to be true,” James says shaking his head. I laugh and start eating chips. They try to explain the rules of the game to me but it all goes over my head.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?” Sidney asks.

“Not when it comes to pointless sports with first downs and stuff,” I say sensitively. I get a call from Jack and excuse myself from the room. He tells me about an upcoming trip to Tahoe that the group is going on and I tell him I’m in and hang up. When I turn around Carl is standing there awkwardly.

“Can we talk?” he asks. I nod and we sit down at Geno’s table.

“I wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I know you got dragged into the middle of that situation and I understand why you picked her side.”

“Tell me about Erica,” I say evenly.

“Me and Natalia had constantly been fighting and I never felt like I was enough for her. She pulled away and became distant and I didn’t understand why. Erica started texting me and it just felt good to have someone who cared about me. I wasn’t planning on sleeping with her but I did want to see her. I know I should have been texting her in the first place. But now Natalia is out of my life and I’m lost without her. I don’t know what to do,” he says dejectedly. I sigh and run my hand through my hair.

“You broke her. I think you both just need time apart for awhile,” I reply. He nods and stands up to hug me.

“Are we okay?”

“Yeah I guess so.” We both back downstairs to watch the rest of the game.

Sidney’s came and spent Christmas with us and I soon headed to Tahoe to spend New Year’s snowboarding with my crew.
“Are you excited for tonight?” Jack asks, loading the alcohol in his trunk.

“It’ll be a fun party. I miss house parties,” I reply. We get into the vehicle and drive towards the cabin.

“I’m surprised you joined us. I thought you’d stay in Pitt.”

“Sidney’s on a road trip,” I admit.

“That explains it,” Jack laughs. We get back to the cabin and get ready for our guests to start arriving. Jack hands me, Danny, Scotty and Luke all a shot and clears his throat. “Here’s to an epic night,” he toasts. We all clink our glasses together and take the shot.
I was surprised at how many people showed up. The small cabin was now packed with people. The music was loud and I was already several drinks in. I spent the evening dancing and mingling and I look at the clock and realize it’s almost midnight. I facetime Sidney and he answers on the first ring. I light up when I see his face.

“Hi!” I yell over the loud music.

“How’s the party,” he asks. I can tell he’s in his hotel room.

“So much fun. I wish you were here though.”

“Me too.” I hear people start counting down and I join in.

“Happy New Year!” I yell.

“Happy New Year babe,” he laughs.

“I can’t believe a year ago you convinced me to marry you after not even know you an entire year.”

“Pretty crazy eh?”

“Best decision of my life,” I smile.

“Me too.” I hear people talking on Sidney’s end and soon Pascal, James and Brandon Sutter all show up.

“Happy New Year’s Phoenix!” they say in unison.

“Happy New Year’s guy’s,” I reply.

“Sounds like a bumping party,” James says.

“It’s pretty fun. But I should go. Happy New Year everyone. Bye Sidney I love you.”

“Love you too.” I end the call and head back to the party.

I wake up hungover and make my way to the kitchen. There are bodies everywhere and I find Jack and Danny watching videos on a laptop.

“Morning boys,” I say smiling.

“Morning Nix, how’d you sleep?” Jack asks.

“Fantastic. So what do you say? Early morning shred?” I ask. They both nod and we get our gear ready.
We snowboard through the backcountry, shredding through the deep powder. Jack brought his camera and was filming us. We use fallen trees as rails and we build our jump. Jack films us hitting this jump over and over until we get tired and decide to head back. By the time we get back everyone is awake. I make a huge breakfast for everyone and then head upstairs to pack. Me, Jack and Danny left for Switzerland today to go compete in the Laax open. I was excited to show everyone what I was capable of. I knew I had the tricks; it was just whether I could pull them off.

We arrive in Laax and I get registered. I head to my room and unpack. Semi’s for halfpipe were that afternoon and I had mixed feelings. The weather was terrible which meant most likely the pipe wouldn’t be in great condition.
I barely make it through semi’s and I’m nervous for finals. The snow wasn’t supposed to let up and all the riders were frustrated.

“Okay so you’re not going to be able to pull the double cork which means you need to get technical with your grabs. Switch your first two tricks so you’re riding switch and you’ll get more points,” Coach tells me. I nod my head and get ready to drop in. I pick an upbeat song to lift my spirit and I drop in. My speed slows down through the snow significantly and I barely manage to pull a decent method. I focus on what Coach told me and pull some hard grabs on my tricks trying to add some style. I finish my run and I’m in third. I couldn’t believe it. I head back up the top and wait for my second run. I drop in for a second time and my speed slows down too much and I’m unable to land my backside 720. I ride to the bottom and wait for my score. I was still in third and I just had to wait for the rest of the riders to go. Louie Vito landed his run and his score placed him in third, bumping me into fourth. I was still happy with fourth. I was so close to making podium that I knew I could do this. I was just as good everyone else and I would soon show everyone that I was the best. I go and find Danny and I see him talking to his girlfriend and her friend.

“Nix you beat me! I always told you were better than me,” he says hugging me. I smile and I feel my phone start buzzing.

“Hello?” I answer.

“You’re getting up there. Soon you’ll be on the podium,” I hear Sidney’s voice say.

“That’s the game plan,” I reply.

“I stayed up till 4 am to watch,”

“Time zones are tough hey?”

“Totally worth it. I just wanted to say way to go and good luck tomorrow.”

“Thanks babe. I love you.” I hang up and head back to my room to rest up for the rest of the competition.

Notes