The Stars are the street lights of eternity - unknown

Jamie's POV

I was sitting on the front steps of my house waiting for Zoe's car to pull up. I had the gate open for her already. I just...needed to talk to her. To Josie. My Josie.

Finally headlights pulled into my driveway and Zoe parked her Toyota not far from me. She got out quickly, slamming her door shut before going to her trunk, opening it, grabbing a box and closed it again. She walked over to me, all the while giving me a dirty look.

"Here," she said, holding out the box in front of her for me to take when she was in front of me.

I took it from her and placed it next to me, "Thanks," I said quietly.

"Alright," she sighed, "well have a nice life, Jamie," she said.

"Wait," I begged, looking at her.

She crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow at me, "What?" she asked.

"Is she okay?" I asked. I needed to know. I had to know.

"I told you earlier what she was like," she said, rolling her eyes, "but...she's absolutely broken, Jamie. And that's on you," she said harshly, "this isn't an overreaction on her part, this was a direct result of you absolutely breaking everything inside of her. Her trust, her soul, her heart, her everything. Josie is such an amazing person, Jamie. And what you did wasn't right, man. She would have been willing to give you anything and everything."

"I hadn't seen Ashley in so long, Zoe," I said, trying to reason with her, but I knew there would be no point.

"Save it," she said, lifting a hand up at me, "I don't care," she dropped her hand to her side, "you were with another girl at some point and Josie didn't know. Josie didn't know that the night y'all met, you went and slept with this other random girl. She didn't know that you were texting her when you were with Josie. Josie didn't know that you had seen her since you'd been hanging out with Josie. How can she trust you, Jamie? Explain that to me, please."

"She can," I stressed.

"She can't!" she said loudly, "You were hiding something so important from her. Hiding the fact that someone she cared a lot about had slept with another girl, had been hanging out and texting another girl. How was she supposed to feel when she found out? It's the principle, Jamie. You have to realize that!"

I groaned and put my head in my hands, "I get it, Zoe, I get it. I got it last night when all of this happened. But I need to see her; I need to talk to her to explain everything face to face. I need her to hear me out."

"No, absolutely not," Zoe said, shaking her head, "you need to fuck off and leave her alone. She needs space, Jamie, she deserves space.

"I know you know everything about Zac and David...I wasn't around for Zac...but this has hit her a lot more than David did, and I think more than Zac too, probably. You have no idea how much she cared about you. No idea! She would have done anything for you!"

"You're saying it all in the past tense," I said, looking up at her, "She doesn't...care anymore?"

She huffed and looked away quickly, "I don't know," she admitted, looking back at me, "If I was her...I wouldn't. I would try to erase everything about you from my mind. That being said...Josie and I are different people. She's telling me one thing but could be feeling another way.

"Regardless...she needs her space. I'm not going to let you get in contact with her; I'm not going to pass along messages to her, none of that shit, at all. I think what you did is disgusting, I think you're disgusting for doing it. Nothing would make me happier than to punch you about a thousand times. You had this amazing person...and because you were some scared fucking child and didn't tell her important things...you lost her, man. And I don't think you'll get her back. And I don't feel bad about that fact. Because Josie deserves someone who will treat her so much better than that.

"Because, you know what Jamie?" she asked, "It's so unfair that you had a girl falling for you, but you were doing whatever. That's not fair to her, Jamie. She just...you hung the moon to her, Jamie. You were her knight, and you let her down so hard. And honestly...I can't even be around you without wanting to scream and curse at you. Because Josie is my best friend. And Josie deserves so much better than what you gave her. And part of why I'm so angry is because I really, really liked you, we all did! I thought you were perfect for her and I thought it would be a happily ever after scenario. And I'm angry because it's not...I'm angry because you did this to her. You've destroyed her, and I don't know when I'll get Josie back. I don't know when I'll look her in the eyes and see her again. Because when I looked at her...she's not there.

"And I'm sorry for saying it harshly," she sighed, "but you needed to hear it like it is. I'm done here now and you have to live with this. So good luck."

And with that she turned away from me and got back into her car and drove off.

And my tears began falling; I covered my face with my hands and cried. I messed everything up. Josie was the best part of my life...and she was gone. And it was my fault. How could I do anything anymore? How could I be okay with myself knowing I caused the girl I love so much pain?

My heart was broken. I felt sick. I just wanted her back. I needed her back. I hated myself so much for doing what I did. I hated myself for not telling her, she deserved to know even though there was nothing going on between me and Ashley...Zoe was right, it's just the principle of her knowing. And it was no one else's fault but my own. I felt like I destroyed my life...but I hurt hers in the process. I just wanted her to be happy, and I knew she was hurting. I think that's what was breaking my heart more than anything.

"Jamie?"

I looked up and saw Tyler standing just outside the driver’s door of his car. I didn't even hear him pull up. Tyler closed the door behind me and walked over to me, sitting down heavily next to me. He patted my shoulder a couple times before letting his hands rest on his bent knees as we sat on the front steps.

"Nothing?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head and wiped my face to rid myself of the tears, "Zoe just left not long ago, dropped off a box of stuff I had at Josie's place."

Tyler sighed, 'Yeah...I've gotten nothing too."

I looked over at him and saw how sad he looked. He really liked Josie too. They had a really good connection, and that meant a lot to me. I was so happy knowing that one of my best friends got along so well with the girl I had fallen in love with.

"She's probably blocked us," I muttered.

Tyler hummed in agreement, "Maybe she'll...maybe she'll unblock us soon. Maybe she'll come to her senses. Maybe it'll all blow over."

And as much as I was hurting, I couldn't help but smile a little at Tyler, the eternal optimist, "Ty...you know Josie...this isn't something that'll blow over soon," I said, as the smile faded from my face, knowing I was right.

Tyler clenched his jaw and looked over at me, "I know," he said quietly.

"I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself for this," I admitted.

"Hindsight is twenty twenty," Tyler told me, "back then you thought it was fine, and that there was nothing to tell her. Now we know she should have known. We can't go back there and have any of us tell her. We're gonna have to deal with this, like it is right now. And it sucks...but we have to."

"But what if I don't see her again, or talk to her again?" I asked sadly, looking away from him and into my driveway, wishing and praying that her car would drive through the gate like she had done so many times in the past.

"I think you will...I think we all will," he said with conviction, I turned to look at him and saw him looking at me, "Josie...man you're gonna marry her," he said with a smile causing a small grin to appear on my face, "I just know it...you two were so fucking perfect, all of us could see it. She saw it, she had to. I just really believe it, man."

I looked away from him again and nodded once, "I hope so."

Notes

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