we look up at the same stars, and see such different things - unknown



I sat up in the room for another little while, maybe half an hour, just pondering. Not that there was anything to think about, I knew that Tyler was right. I was stubborn as fuck and I needed that kick in the ass from Tyler. But like I had said, I couldn't go back and talk to Jamie tonight. It was fresh and I was worried I would snap again.

I left the room and slowly started to make my way down the hall to my shared room with Cody.

"Josie," someone called from behind me.

I turned and faced him; he had dark brown hair and some dark brown scruff on his face. He was in a pair of plaid board shorts, flip flops, and a white shirt that had the Boston Bruins logo on it. I knew who he was but I just couldn't think of his name.

"That's me," I said with a small smile.

"Hey, I'm Adam, I played with Tyler in Boston," he said walking over to me with his hand outstretched.

"McQuaid, right?" I asked, reaching for his hand to shake.

He smiled, "That's me," he said. We shook hands quickly before dropping out hands back to our sides.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be creepy," he said to me, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

I laughed lightly and shrugged, "I barely noticed the creepiness," I told him.

He laughed, "Ty said you were funny."

"He probably said I was annoying as fuck too," I said with a smile.

Adam laughed, "Well, maybe only once," he said with a wink.

"You should be downstairs hanging around with the other partiers," I said leaning against the wall.

He shrugged and leaned against the opposite wall, "Bathroom break, someone was using the one downstairs," he said.

I breathed in deeply, "Rich hockey player problems," I said casually.

He burst out laughing, "That's fucking terrible!" he said between laughs.

I was laughing with him too, "But it's what you were describing!"

"Well why aren't you hanging around with the partiers then?" he asked after composing himself.

I shrugged, "I was gonna head to bed soon, probably."

He scoffed, "Lame."

"I never claimed to be cool," I smiled.

"Come down with me! It'll be fun!"

I sucked in some air, "That's really okay."

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, I'm not creepy, I swear. I'm not drinking really, so it'll be nice to have a sober friend too."

I laughed, "Ehhh...alright," I said, pushing myself away from the wall.

He did the same and smiled, "Awesome!" he said as we made our way to the stairs, "Ty said you live in Toronto?"

I nodded as we descended the stairs, "Yup, born and raised. But I live in Dallas, technically."

He nodded, "Right, right, you're a teacher, I remember him saying that," he said as we walked into the kitchen, "You gonna grab something?" he asked moving to the fridge.

I hummed as he opened it and pulled out a bottle of Iced Tea while he took out a can of Pepsi.

"Wanna sit by the fire?" he asked.

"Sure," I said with the nod, following him outside.

We walked to the campfire and I saw the guys all sitting together laughing and talking, I looked away but it was all of them. Including Jamie.

We took some unoccupied seats across from the guys.

"So are you secretly a Toronto Maple Leafs fan?" Adam asked me teasingly.

I laughed and nodded, "Toronto people are my people," I told him, "I'll always have a soft spot for them. Where are you from?" I asked, opening my bottle.

"Charlottetown," he said proudly, "They're my people," he said with a wink.

I laughed, "Hometown pride, I like that."

"So I hear you keep Tyler in line down there," he mentioned.

I smirked and cast a quick glance to Tyler and saw him looking at me, "I try to," I told him, "but there's only so much one person can do," I said with a sigh.

"But he's not as bad as he was in Boston, I bet," Adam chuckled.

"No!" I said laughing, "He could never be as bad as he was in Boston! I've heard a few things."

He laughed, "No, I think Dallas tamed him. His head is on straight now, which is good."

I shrugged nonchalant, "He was young," I mused, looking at the fire, "First year in the NHL, ya know?"

"For sure," Adam agreed, "I think Captain Benn really had something to do with it, too."

My stomach knotted up at the mention of him, "I think so," I said, not looking away from the flames.

"Ty told me, he's like, Jamie really pushes me to be better and play harder and everything. I think that Ty really likes Jamie. I was so bummed that he got traded but I'm happy he has Jamie on his team to keep him in line and play better than he ever has," Adam explained, "And he's been killing it in Dallas, it's only a matter of time until they have the Cup."

"Yeah," I said quietly, "Jamie is...he's really great."

"So you and Jamie have some history, eh?" he asked me.

I looked at him, "Tyler tell you that?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Even if he didn't, it wouldn't be hard to figure out."

I smirked, "So does that mean everyone heard our discussion on the dock?"

He smiled a little at me, "Probably not everyone. I just happened to be talking with Ty."

I sank further into my chair, "Well, that's embarrassing."

"Shit happens," he said, shrugging.

I sighed and looked away from him, "Do you wanna talk it out?" he asked me.

I smiled and shook my head, "I like ya and everything, Adam, but I've known you for approximately twenty minutes."

He smiled and looked down, "Yeah, that's true." he said, "but that's the best person to talk this kinda stuff out with. Third party look into your lives. I don't know you, and I don't know Jamie that well. So I'm not biased."

"Or you're just nosey," I said, teasingly.

He threw his head back and laughed, making me laugh with him. I knew they were all looking at me, and I felt extremely exposed. I didn't wanna talk about Jamie when I was 10 feet from him.

"Come on," I said, still laughing a little, "lets go for a walk," I said standing up.

He stood up with me and grinned, "I'll fix all the problems, don't you worry," he said.

I rolled my eyes as he led me away from the fire, "You're a dork but I like it."

We walked all over the place. All over the property, in the woods near his cottage. It was almost 2 hours we walked and talked. Tyler had kept Adam well enough up to date with things. There were some things he agreed with me about and some things where he took Jamie's side. Which I appreciated, I appreciated his outlook.

"And that's pretty much it," I said with a sigh, finally finishing our saga.

We finished up on the front porch sitting on a couple Muskoka Chairs that Tyler had there.

Adam was looking out at the cars parked and nodding his head. I looked away and sat in the silence while I looked at the cars as well.

Finally he spoke, "Well, I've already given you some input here and there."

"Obviously," I said sarcastically.

He just grinned over at me, "Now, don't get mad," he said looking at me, "I understand where you're coming from with it, like it was a shitty situation, one hundred percent..."

"But?" I urged.

He cringed, "But...I think you were too rough on him. Like, I agree, should he have verbally said to this chick, like hey whatever this is, is over? Fuck yeah he should've. But, after it's all said and done, the guys apologized to you, tried to make it up to you and you went radio silent. I think that you were suddenly terrified because the old boyfriend cheated on you and the other one was a dick, and that made you think that Jamie might be too. But he's clearly not.

"I think it was a shitty as fuck situation, but it's done. And you're hard as a fucking rock, and you need to realize that he's really sorry. And if you want to be with him, you need to explain things through, like adults, and make sure he knows that it hurt you, and he needs you to know that it hurt him too. And then you two can live happily ever after and shit."

I wiped at my eyes just before the tears started to fall, "So poetic," I joked.

He nudged me with his knee causing me to look at him, "I like you a lot, Josie. And if I thought I had a chance, I'd ask you out. But...you're with Jamie whether you like it or not to be honest."

I felt my lip tremble, "I think I really messed things up with Jamie," I said.

He smiled sadly at me, "Not bad enough that they can't be fixed," he told me, "the guy looks at you like you're an angel or something, like you're the most perfect being he's ever seen. You just need to, ya know, sort it out."

"I wanna be with him," I told Adam, "more than anything. I wanna trust him; I wanna work all of this out with him. And I think, secretly, that's what I was hoping for this weekend. But hearing him talk about what happened only pisses me off more and more. So I don't know how to sit down with Jamie and say, like, listen....this hurt me," I said as my eyes started to fill with tears, "what you did hurt me a lot. And I know what I did hurt you too. But I want to be with you. I don't know how to say that to him."

Adam smiled at me and patted my knee, "That's all you have to say, Josie. That is literally it."

I wiped my eyes and smiled at him, "I just don't want to yell at him again or something dumb like that."

"So don't yell at him," he said simply, "you gotta remember, this is your life. And you have to do what's best for you, and being with Jamie it seems, is like what is best!"

"But what if something happens and we break up? Then what? I don't know what I'd do if that happened," I told him.

He smiled gently at me, "You told me yourself that you believe everything happens for a reason, and if for some crazy reason you and Jamie don't work, then that'll just send you on your next adventure! And hey, maybe it'd take you to Boston and we'll hang out then."

I laughed and nodded, dapping under my eyes, "Sounds like a plan," I told him.

"You gonna talk to him?" he asked me.

I sighed and looked out at the cars parked in front of the cottage and shook my head, "Not tonight," I said standing up, "I think today was too much for us."

Adam stood up alongside of me, "You're gonna talk to him though, right?"

I sniffled as I nodded, "Yeah, I mean, you guys have been right, and I know you have. I just think that today was a big day and we need to relax is all."

Adam smiled and we made our way into the cottage, "Just don't flake out," he whispered.

I hit his shoulder, "Do I look like the type of person to flake out over a potentially life changing moment?" I asked.

We both looked at each other and started to laugh, "I'm going to bed," I said between laughs as I walked away from him and up the stairs.

I was still giggling to myself as I made it up but my smile faded only a little when I saw Jamie emerging from the bathroom up there.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," I said back.

We stood there looking at each other for a moment before I forced myself to move and take a step towards my bedroom.

"I'm really sorry about today, Josie," he said quickly.

I looked back at him, "I know," I said with a small smile, "So am I, Jamie."

He took a deep breath and continued talking, "Over the last few months I kept imagining in my head what it would be like to see you again, like what I would say or do and everything. And that's not how it went down at all."

I laughed to myself and leaned against the wall next to my bedroom door, "It went pretty similar to what I imagined."

He looked at me a little wide eyed with a sad expression, making me sigh, "I'm kidding, Jamie," I said with a sigh, "That's not how I wanted it to go either. I figured when I saw you again I would melt or something. That I would just need to look at you and everything would be okay again, but I did know that something like that would probably happen if I'm gonna be honest with you," I sighed, "When I looked at you I felt my anger bubble over, but I tried to push it down and talk it out. But that made it worse for some reason. I think probably because it festered and stewed for so long and then suddenly we're together and it's all just falling out of my mouth."

He looked at me with such pain in his face. Pain and sadness. He looked like he wanted to say something to me but maybe he couldn't find the right words or the right way to phrase it or something.

I looked away from him and looked at my flip flop covered feet instead, waiting for him to hopefully break the silence.

"Did you mean it?" he asked me quietly.

I looked back up at him, confused, "What?"

"Did you...," he let it trail off, almost like he lost his nerve, he sighed deeply, "Did you mean it when you said you fell in love with me?"

I laughed silently to myself, but I nodded, "Yeah. I did."

He ran his hands down his face, aggravated, "Josie, I'm so sorry, for everything, you have to-"

"Jamie," I said, cutting him off, "honestly, I don't want to get into this again. It's been a long day, okay? I just...I wanna sleep," I whined, leaning my head against the wall and squeezing my eyes closed, I heard Jamie laugh a little which made me smile inside, "I think we should just both sleep on this and maybe we'll talk in the morning or something," I suggested.

"Okay," he answered quietly.

I nodded and then turned to go to my room, "Do you promise?" he asked me.

I smiled softly and looked at him over my shoulder, "Sure thing, hockey star."

Notes

Please let me know what y'all think!!