AUTUMN LEAVES

Jessica sat on the cold concrete stairs starring into space. When she left the club, she had one thing in mind. Find Sidney and claw his eyes out. She wanted to yell at him to slap him for all the humiliation and hurt he put her through. She tried calling him and texting him but got nothing, of course the coward would not answer. She cursed her luck and cursed Autumn, and cursed Catherine whom she thought were her friends. She cursed herself for trusting Sidney knowing full well what he is like. He can never be in a serious relationship if all he wants is to fuck around. The sanctity of marriage did not deter him, not even the fact that Autumn was married to Mario, his mentor.

Sidney was sick and needed help, she thought in a brief moment of sympathy that he did not deserve. She shook these thoughts out fast as she should be more concerned about her own feelings and wellbeing, the hell with Sidney, he doesn’t deserve her, he never did. What she still couldn’t understand is why would he tell her he wanted a serious relationship? Why would he take her in public and show her off to the world? Was she supposed to be the distracting face to hide his affair with Mario Lemieux’s wife? Was she just a cover up? Was he really that awful of a person to use her like this?! She couldn’t think of any other reasons.

She sat in front of Sidney’s building for what felt like days, but she couldn’t make herself go upstairs to face him.She knew that he would be staying at his apartment for the night, and that he was likely there with Autumn. Jessica jumped when she heard footsteps behind her. Turning around, she sees Autumn hurriedly going down the stairs. She almost slapped herself at how stupid she felt. Sidney was cheating on her right before her eyes. An obnoxious laugh escaped from her when she realized that Autumn was clearly upset and crying.

Autumn stopped in her tracks when she spotted Jessica right in front of her. Facing her was the woman she lied to, the woman who was supposed to be Sidney’s girlfriend. She stopped crying and hiccupped, shivering from both the cold and the nerves. Autumn couldn’t form any sort of intelligible words. Jessica stared silently back at her, her dark eyes sizing her up, scanning her disheveled form, from head to toe. “He kicked you out huh?”, Jessica spoke sarcastically. “Yup, that’s Sidney for ya. Welcome to the club. Oh wait! You’ve been in the club all along, haven’t you?”, Jessica spoke, spitting venom.

“Jessica, I..”, Autumn tried to speak, but she was choking on her words. In her whole life, she had never foreseen being in such situation. “You what?!”, Jessica’s voice remained angry. “You made a fool of me! Oh, I’ll help you Jessica! Oh, Sid cares about you Jessica! Please save your useless apology”, Jessica yelled.

“You know what makes me feel better though? You’re a bigger fool than I am. You’re married to someone like Mario and cheat on him with someone like that bastard! You’re clearly stupid!”, Jessica added more calmly. Autumn could not fathom an answer, silent tears flowing down her cheeks. There was never a good excuse for cheating, not even love. She did owe Jessica an apology and some sort of an explanation nonetheless. She wasn’t just a slut who sleeps around. Well that was up for debate, Autumn thought.

“You have every reason to hate me. Frankly, I hate myself at the moment”, Autumn spoke with a hoarse voice. Jessica scoffed but let her continue. “It was unfair that you got caught in the middle of the mess that Sid and I created and for that, I am truly sorry. Sid and I go way back. I’m not sure if this is an appropriate way to put it. He was genuinely committed to you though”, Autumn continued. “Before tonight. Tonight, it was my fault, kind of. I wanted to help you Jessica, I meant it back at the arena. I know you don’t believe me, but-“, Autumn said, her tears reappearing. “I love him and I wanted him to be happy, I really thought that he could love you and move on and forget about us. I thought that he really liked you and that you made him happy”, she added.

“I thought that too! But what do you know?!”, Jessica said, sitting down on the stairs. Autumn sat beside her, “I know that you may never forgive me, I understand that. I guess it will make you happy to hear that Sidney will never be more than just a man I slept with. Whatever we had will never go beyond an ugly affair that hurt you and Mario”, Autumn confessed. The two women sat in silence for few more moments, lost in their own thoughts. “I’m not mad at you, not as much as I am at Sid. I certainly don’t hate you either, Autumn. If anything, I feel sorry for you”, Jessica finally whispered. If Jessica wanted to hurt Autumn, she chose the right words.

“I’m the biggest loser in all of this. Not only did I cheat on Mario, but I will end up alone too”, she said defeated. “I told him that I will leave Mario to be with him. I thought that’s what he wanted all along. I was such a fool to believe that”, Autumn confessed to Jessica, of all people. “Let me guess, he said it will affect his hockey career”, Jessica said. Autumn chuckled lightly shaking her head, “I feel sorry for myself too”, she said while looking at Jessica straight in the eye. She saw Jessica’s sadness and disappointment mirroring her own.

“Jessica, you’re a wonderful woman. You’re beautiful, successful, fun to be around, any man would be lucky to be with you”, Autumn spoke honestly, as she took a chance and placed her hand on Jessica’s knee. Jessica was not a resentful woman, even if she wanted to be at that moment. She felt sorry for herself and for Autumn too. “I can say the same to you, Autumn. What happened to you?”, Jessica said placing her hand over hers. “Or should I ask, what happened to both of us?”, she added.

“It’s simple, we both fell in love with the wrong man”, Autumn said with a sad smile. “You wanna hear something funny, since we’re being honest here”, Jessica said, her tone a little less miserable. “When I first met you, I had a major crush on you”, Jessica confessed. “What do you mean crush?”, Autumn asked confused. When Jessica looked shyly at their hands on her knee, it clicked in Autumn’s head. “Oh, oh… um… I didn’t know that you um…”, Autumn stuttered as she retracted her hand, shocked by Jessica’s revelation. “Isn’t it hysterical though?”, Jessica said laughing. “This whole thing is hysterical really. Here I am confessing to the woman who slept with my alleged boyfriend, that I had a crush on her. You know Sid will never say no to a threesome!”, Jess joked with a wiggle of her perfectly shaped eyebrows, earning a laugh from Autumn.

They sat there, on Sidney’s footsteps, and laughed despite all the mess that both their lives have turned into because of that same man. Once they managed to calm down, Jessica turned to her and said, “you know Cath was right about one thing. She said Autumn could convince anyone to do anything. Here I am laughing with you after what you did to me”, Jessica said, clearing her throat. “Jess, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to...”, Autumn started saying but Jessica held her hand to stop her.

“It’s okay really. In a way, it’s better to learn about this now. Better now than after I get myself any deeper into this fake relationship. You and I are both victims here. We both deserve better. Mario is great, hold on to him”, Jessica said. “I can’t”, Autumn said, looking at the ground at the mention of her husband. “He deserves better too, Jessica. I can’t stay with him. I’m gonna come clean and ask for a divorce. Well I guess he may beat me to it after hearing what I had to say”, Autumn said, feeling a knot in the pit of her stomach at the idea of confessing to Mario. Jessica nodded, “It’s the right thing to do. I’m glad that you are still the person I thought you were after all”, Jessica said approvingly.

“What about you? Are you gonna talk to Sid?”, Autumn asked curiously. “After slapping his stupid face you mean?”, Jessica scoffed. “You know, I was ready to give him a piece of my mind. But as I sat here and thought about it, I couldn’t make myself face him. Because I know that I will regret it afterwards. I’m bigger than this. He’s not worth it. I guess I’m gonna take the high road. Maybe I should consider dating women instead”, Jessica joked with a wink, earning another laugh from Autumn. “A lucky woman, I’m sure”, Autumn joked back, happy to see that the free happy spirit of Jessica Hunter was still there.

“Jess, Catherine had no idea about any of this, so please don’t be mad at her”, Autumn added, remembering what Tiff had told her. Jessica frowned at the mention of Catherine. “I don’t want to be around her or anyone related to hockey for that matter. At least for a while”, Jessica said. “I understand, I don’t think I can be around her or anyone else who knows. I can’t look them in the eye after all this”, Autumn whispered in shame. “Give Cath a chance though, let her explain herself when you’re ready, she’s your friend and she cares about you.”

Jessica nodded, “Where are you headed?”, she asked Autumn as the two women stood up. “To Tiff’s place, it’s not very far”, Autumn answered. She explained to Jessica that she was walking since she didn’t have her wallet. Jessica decided to walk with her after failing to convince her to get her a cab. “I could use a walk too”, Jessica said with a small smile. “Besides, I’m not letting walk all alone at this hour. I’m not as careless as Sid”, Jessica snorted. The mention of his name again brought tears to Autumn and Jessica noticed.

“You love him but he doesn’t want you, so stop crying over him!”, Jessica yelled at her, getting upset at how fragile Autumn was being because of a man who clearly did not deserve her. “That’s not completely true. To be fair, he did say that he wants to be with me. ‘More than anything’, he said. But he claims that he needs time to figure things out. I mean part of me understands but…”, Autumn spoke softly. She told Jessica briefly about Sidney’s genius plan of keeping the truth from Mario until he figures something out.

Jessica was surprised, “you do realize that hell will break loose if Mario knew, and you’re telling me that, despite all of the consequences, Sid is willing to be with you, and all he needs is just some time to think?”, Jessica asked stupefied, shocked that Sid was even willing to risk it all for her, and that Autumn was too blind to see it. “And what the hell are you complaining about?!”, Jessica asked a little louder.

“The Sidney I know, would never, ever put anything of anyone before his hockey career. If he’s willing to do this, he clearly wants you. He must really love you, Autumn”, Jessica said sadly. “I don’t see the big deal if he needs some time to think about it? I mean with what at stake for him, it’s the minimum he could do”, Jessica reasoned, thinking that Autumn should be happy, not upset.

“But meanwhile, he wants us to be together and not tell Mario about it. Like he wants me to keep pretending to be his wife and lie to him”, Autumn said defensively. Jessica rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to stay calm.

“Listen, ask him how much time he needs and what for. If you love Sid this much that you’re willing to throw your marriage away for him, then you owe it to yourself to find a way to be with him. I mean I have no idea how long you two have been sneaking around and I really, really don’t want to know. But ask yourself this, is lying for a little longer worth it to get what you want at the end? Is Sid worth it?”, Jessica tried to help Autumn decide. She was almost certain that Autumn will say that Sid was not worth it. But Autumn nodded, much to Jessica’s surprise.

“Do you see the irony in this? You were supposed to help me with Sid and not the other way around”, she said with a chuckle. Jessica noticed how Autumn looked away embarrassed at how she wronged her. She stepped in front of Autumn, “Sid doesn’t deserve you, but that bastard is certainly lucky”, Jessica spoke as she held Autumn’s chin to force her to look at her. Autumn smiled at her and nodded weakly.

“I’ve always thought you were a great person, I even told Sidney so. But I’ve never thought that you’d be this forgiving that I feel I don’t deserve to be even talking to you right now, let alone get your advice or support. I’m grateful for everything that you are and I wish people could be more like you. Sid had no idea what he was missing out on”, Autumn said as Jessica stroked her cheek gently. She felt that Jessica touch was getting more intimate.

“So, women huh?”, Autumn said clearing her throat, as she wiped her tears, casually moving Jessica’s hand away from her face, trying not to be too rude. “Why not? Though I know I prefer to date men, I do enjoy being with a woman once in a while, you know?”, Jessica said as they continued to walk. “No, I don’t actually”, Autumn said, blushing. “You told me once that you’ve had some wild days back in Boston, what did you mean by that then?”, Jessica asked. “So, for Jessica Hunter, the definition of wild is having a lesbian relationship?”, Autumn asked chuckling. “Who said anything about a relationship? No, girl, I just meant sex with a woman”, Jessica said brightly. “Well, sorry to disappoint you then, my wild time in Boston will sound boring to you”, Autumn responded.

“Do you ever wonder what’s it like?”, Jessica asked curiously. “What are you getting at, Jessica?”, Autumn said with wide eyes, grinning nonetheless. “I mean we’re both upset with Sid, right? We can text him a picture of us naked in bed to mess with his head”, Jessica suggested, half joking. “You’re something else, do you know that?”, Autumn answered with a chuckle, shaking her head at the turn of events and the absurdity of this whole situation.

Notes

Hello,

Here's the new chapter! What do you think of this turn of events?
Would anyone be this forgiving?

I'd like to believe that there's more love and forgiveness than hatred in this world (I'm living in a fake bubble I guess)

Let's go Pens!

Charlie