"I don't know why I'm scared
I've been here before
Every feeling, every word,
I've imagined it all."

*April's POV*

"That's the last of it." I said handing my brother the final box full of my things.

"I'll wait for you downstairs." Ty said exiting the doorway leaving James and I alone.

"Well." I said turning to James.

"Well." He responded stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Thanks for everything, really." I said hugging him lightly.

"No problem." He replied "I finally get the place all to myself now."

"Oh shush." I said punching his arm lightly. "You loved having me here." I laughed sticking my tongue out at him.

"I did." He said softly looking at me before reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Uhh thanks again." I said looking down trying to avoid eye contact "I know I stayed longer than originally planned but-"

Suddenly I was cut off by James pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

I opened my mouth to protest but he just took it as an opportunity to deepen the kiss sliding his tongue into my mouth.

I whimpered slightly before melting into him wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands found their way around my waist.

I stood my tiptoes trying to stay on the same height level as James so he swiftly grabbed my legs as I wrapped them around him.

My mind became foggy my thoughts clouded as James set me down on the counter in the kitchen our lips still moving together in sync.

In that moment I couldn't think clearly my mind spinning and all that I was aware of was the rough texture of James's hands finding my bare skin as he played with the hem of my shirt.

I finally found the strength to pull away resting my head against one of the cabinets trying to catch my breath.

The apartment was quiet the only sound that could be heard was our rapid breathing.

"I can't do this." I breathed out loolking at James who ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

"I'd better get going." I said looking towards the doorway.

"April." James said cupping my cheek turning my head back to him. "I'm never going to hurt you like he did."

"Tyler's waiting for me I really should go." I said trying my best to contain my emotions.

"Please." He whispered bringing my head down to his "Stay."

It took everything in me not to accept and give in but I knew I had to leave before I did something I would regret.

"I want this." I said quietly meeting his eyes "I do but...I need time."

He closed his eyes moving slowly away. I hopped off and looked over at him to see tears brimming his eyes.

"I'm sorry." I choked out leaving the apartment tears blurring my vision as I ran down the hall.

***

I knocked on the door furiously wiping away the remaining tears.

The door opened to a laughing Cody who's smile quickly faded when he noticed my tear soaked cheeks.

"Hey there." He said when I ran into his arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked rubbing my back closing the door.

"I didn't know where else to go." I said sniffling.

"What happened?"

I was quiet for a minute trying to regain my composure.

"James kissed me."

"And." He said not seeming suprised which caught me a bit off guard "What did you do?"

"I didn't exactly push him away." I said shrugging.

"So you kissed him back?"

"Yeah." I sighed

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Well.." I trailed off looking away as I heard him sigh.

"April..."

"I told him I needed time." I said quietly

"How'd he take it?"

"Not much better than I did." I admitted

"Come here." He said directing me over to the couch taking a seat as I did the same leaning into him as he wrapped his arm around me.

"How can I help?" He asked

"Just tell me what to do." I said defeated "I don't know what to do."

"Honey it's simple." He said looking at me "You can't keep pushing him away."

"I know what happened to you was horrible but...you've got to learn to let people in again." He said before continuing.

"You've got to put down this wall that you've got built up. Trust him."

"I trust him, it's just..."

"I know you don't want to get hurt again but...He's not going to wait for you forever."

I looked up at Cody and I knew that he was right.

"So I should tell him how I feel?" "

How do you feel?" He asked

"I'm not exactly sure." I admitted.

"Well when you do figure it out. Make sure he knows."

"I hate you." I said pouting looking at him.

"For what?" He asked laughing.

"For alway's being right." I sighed resting my head against his shoulder.

I knew I had to let my doubts go. I had to forget my past and move on before I lost James.

Notes

Again I want to apologize for the inconsistancy in updates! I feel so bad but hopefully this wait wasn't as long as last time haha :)
Anyway thanks for all the positive feedback and I hope you enjoy!
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