In the HQs (headquarters) of the EHP (Evil Hockey Players) Society, Carey Price and Claude Giroux are playing monopoly, having a good time.
"You roll!" Carey tells Giroux.
Giroux scoops up the dice and shakes it in his hand, then rolls it onto the board. "Shixsh!" He exclaims in a cowboy accent and moves his small, silver shoe game piece six spaces, landing on Tennessee Ave.
"Hah!" Carey scoffs. "You landed on Tennessee Avenue! Now...let's see..." Carey picks up his pile of property cards and searches for the Tennessee Ave. card. "Hah! I own it! You owe me 75 dollars!" He puts his cards back away.
Giroux growls. "Grrr...You're gonna make me bankrupt!" He pulls out some colorful money from his small money pile and hands it to Carey.
Carey flips through the money. "20, 20, 20, 10, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1... Gosh, Claude, couldn't you have just given me a five?" He places the money with the rest of his money.
"Butta, butta, Carey, shouldn't we uh be practishin' for duh game?" Giroux asks Carey.
"Practicing?! You mean that we practice?! Heck no--I never practice!"
"Sho whadda we do, fail?"
"No! I use my handy-dandy telepathic powers!"
"Ah!" Giroux's eyes light up. "Grade ideeuh!" (Great idea!)
"And that's why I don't practice!"
Meanwhile, outside of the EHP HQs, Patrick Kane listens to Carey's and Giroux's plans.
"Oh no, dude! Carey's up to his telepathic power plan! I gotta stop him, man!" Patrick says.
Patrick turns invisible and walks into the HQs, looking for the room Carey and Giroux is in. He finally finds it and bursts the door open, pulling out his bow and arrow and starts shooting.
"Ah! We're under attack!" Giroux shouts.
"I knew I should've put out the guards..." Carey tries to use his telepathic powers on Patrick. "Ugh! He's too fast! I can't catch--"
Carey's sentence is interrupted by a symphony of cacophony.
"Caught 'im!" Giroux calls out behind Carey.
Carey turns around and sees Patrick tied up with thick rope, with Giroux hovering next him.
"Aha!" Carey shouts. "I knew it! I just knew!"
"Yea, yea, everybody knows when I'm around--it's like as if I have this vibe or that I'm not invisible, dude."
"Did you overhear our conversation?"
"I'm a spy, man--what do you think--?"
Two hypnotized Blackhawks players, Corey Crawford and Andrew Shaw, walk into the room.
"Oh no...," Patrick says quietly. "Crawford...Shaw...man, there you guys are!"
"Guards, take 'im away and lock him in the dungeon!" Carey commands.
"WHA, DUDE?!" Patrick shouts while the guards walk up to him.
They grab him and start to drag him out of the room.
"No! This can't happen, man!" Patrick continues shouting. "Spies don't allow this, dude!!! You'll get what you deserve, Priiiiiiiiiice!"
The guards close the door, but they are still able to hear Patrick's shouting fading away.
Carey chuckles, crossing his arms. "Hah, with my wonderful telepathic powers, nothing can stop me!"
Giroux clears his throat. "Ummm... Whadda 'bout meh?"
"Oh yea, you too."
"Okay...sho, do ya wanna finish up duh game?"
Carey thinks for a moment. "Nah. I won anyways. We shall now go to the NHL headquarters!"
Oh poor Patrick...
Well, something bad has to happen, right?
Well, for the next chapter, make sure you're eating ice while reading it!
You'll thank me! ;)
Stay tune for the next chapter of AAOOOSC! #1