AAOOOSC! The Movie!

Somewhere outside in the Olympic area, Patrick and Jonathan are looking for the Canadians.
"Why are you so determined to find these Canadians?!" Jonathan cries.
"Because it's not fair that they can run out and do whatever they want to do, man!" Patrick exclaims.
Jonathan looks at something in front of him. "Wha?"
They stop in front of a fast food restaurant with no drive through. There is the McDonald's symbol on it, but instead of saying 'McDonald's,' it says 'McMoose's.'
"Are you serious, dude? This is totally them, man!" Patrick drags Jonathan into the restaurant.
Inside are all the Canadians huddle around a long table watching snowboarding freestyle on TV in Russian while eating.
"Hey, look!" Chris Kuntiz points to the TV with a hamburger in his hand. "Here comes Canada!"
All the Canadians cheer/quack happily when the Canadian safely completes the railing part.
"Oh no...," Patrick Marleau whimpers, "...here comes the big hills...!" He covers his eyes. "I can't watch!"
The Canadian snowboarder completes the course with a beautiful landing. All the Canadians cheer/quack.
"He did it!" PK Subban cheers. "He did it! First place for us! Whoo-hoo!"
"Oh yea, oh yea! Canada rules!" Carey Price high fives Sidney.
The snowboarder gets 96.87 as his score. All the Canadians cheer/quack again.
"We're in first place!" Toews exclaims. "We're in first place!" He shakes Patrick Sharp's shoulders wildly. "Aren't you excited?!"
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Let! Go! Of! Meeee!" Sharps says dizzily.
Ryan and Corey quack happily, throwing crumbs everywhere like confetti.
"Wait guys, there's an US guy next!" Mike Smith points out, looking at the TV.
Everyone looks up at the TV.
"Now who's this guy?" PK asks. "He's, like, the fourth American here!"
The name of the person shows up in Russian and in English.
"Peyton...Manning? Oh my, he sounds scary! I'm scared!" Marleau hides his face behind the table.
"Aiy, man up!" Roberto Luongo says in a Mexican accent, smacking Marleau's back.
"Ow!" Marleau squeaks.
"Hey, isn't that the same dude who wanted to take over the NHL, dude?!" Patrick exclaims.
All the Canadians turn their heads, spotting Jonathan and Patrick standing in the doorway.
Jonathan groans and smacks his forehead. "Dang it, Kane! We're dead!"
"What are you doing here, you white-wigged, cannon ball crazed, red, white, and blue spies?!" Toews snaps.
"Wha?" Jonathan makes a confused look.
"Look, um, we were just wondering where you guys were at since you guys weren't at the cafeteria, man," Patrick explains.
"Their food stinks," Roberto replies, "that's why we aren't there."
"Literally," Chris adds in. "Their food stinks, literally."
"Can we join you guys, then?" Jonathan asks.
Mauleau randomly screams.
Roberto quickly faces Marleau. "What the heck, Patrick?! Why'd you scream?!"
Marleau has his hands practically in his mouth with a frightened look. "L-l-oo-oo-k a-at t-the sc-sc-oo-re..."
All the Canadians look up at the TV.
Peyton Manning makes fist pumps when he gets a score of 118.99.
"That's impossible!" Mike exclaims, slack-jawed.
"That's an error--it's suppose to be 18.99," PK says.
"Good one," Carey tells him.
Ryan and Corey begin to throw chips and chunks of bread at the TV, quacking angerily.
"Okay, okay, duckies," Sidney tells them, "calm down! At least we're in second place!"
The two Ducks calm down when the commercials appear and continue eating.
"So, can we join you guys?" Jonathan asks.
"Are you Canadian?" Toews crosses his arms. "No, so that means you can't join. Sorry, good bye, leave." He turns around and faces his back on them.
"But--"
Toews sharply turns to Sidney. "What?"
"I want them to join."
"If we let them join, then before you know it"--Toews snaps--"the Slovaks'll be eating here!"
"But I'm the captain." Sidney folds his arms across his chest.
"You can't let this slide easily, though."
Sidney just stares seriously at his teammate as best as possible.
Toews sighs. "Okay, okay, I think I have an idea." He whispers it to Sidney.
Sidney nods his head. "Okay, sounds good."
"Okay, you guys--" Toews turns around, facing the two Americans, "--in order to join McMoose's--"
"McGorillas!" Chris pipes in.
Toews quickly looks at Chris. "Shut up, Kunitz! You're from Canada, not from a jungle!"
Chris frowns.
"--you guys have to sing the Canadian Anthem. By memory."
"What?!" Patrick's blue eyes widen. "You're insane, dude! Outta this world, man!"
"Go. Or leave."
Patrick sighs. "But..."
Jonathan elbows Patrick's upper arm. "C'mon, Patrick, let's give it a shot! It'll be fun! Okay." He clears his throat and begins to sing with a weak melody. "We love our moose! We made hockey! We win gold every time! We don't want Bieber! We...we...um--"
Patrick jumps into the song. "Maple syrup is found everywhere!"
"Canada is cold!"
"You can see polar bears!"
"Can't find good beaches!"
"Home of Sid the Kid!"
"And we love our country and maple leafs because it is on our flag!" Jonathan stops singing. "The end."
All the Canadians just gawk at them.
"Epic. Fail," Toews enunciates.
"Okay, why don't you sing the US Anthem, then?"
"Okay!" Toews stand up quickly and begins to sing. "We are patriots! Red, white, and blue patriots! We have a statue of a green lady on an island! You can either melt or freeze in the USA!" He stops singing for a moment and looks at his teammates. "Don't you guys want to join?"
Ryan and Corey quack at him sharply.
"And we have a horrible economy," Toews finishes up. "The end."
"Triple epic fail, yos!" Patrick shouts.
"Fine. You can join," Toews says flatly.
"Yes!" Patrick and Jonathan high five each other.

Notes