[Monologue #5]
These feeling is unbearable. I hear your silent cries. But all I hear are the silent drops and the pulls of the trigger. All of the knots are tied, but no one is acting. When will they all understand? You say that no one understands. But I do. When will your realize what you need is right in front of you?

I tried to sneak in through the door thinking that no one was home. I didn't see the truck in the driveway. I was surely wrong because as soon as I stepped foot in the house my mom came to see me, instantly. Her worried expression was making me feeling guilty. I shouldn't have left her like that. I over reacted. I knew it wasn't right, but why did I do it?

"Rydell! You had me so worried." She embraced me into a tight hug. I hugged her back.

"I know. I'm so sorry, mom." I had to apologize. It was only right. I muzzled my face into her greying-brown hair.

We broke apart and we went to the living room. "I know it isn't the most perfect time to talk about this, but he dropped you off, didn't he?" Her flirty smiled was gushing. My mother was still the same happy woman.

I blushed. "Mom, it's not like that." I paused a little. "But yes, he drove me home." I rolled my eyes and she squealed like a teenage girl. I couldn't let her know about how he found me. She would be so disappointed in me.

"I think you two would make a perfect couple." She spoke as she stood up. "Want me to grab you some tea?"

"Yes, please. And-- no we wouldn't. We're both so different. I mean look at me and look at him."

"Honey, don't say that! Just because he's a big-name doesn't mean you can't date him!" She hollered from the kitchen. What did she mean a big-name? He was just ordinary, Carey.

She came back with two mugs in her hands. "Yeah, he is a hockey player. You do know that he's an NHL Goaltender, right?" She asked as she handed me my tea. I brought my mouth to the cup and took a small sip.

Woah. Carey was a NHL Player. The NHL was The Show. I never cared for watching it, but I did know and understand the game. I mean what Canadian didn't? "So you're telling me that he's important?" I asked my mom.

She nodded. "He plays for the Montreal Canadiens. An all-star too. They say he's the best goalie in the league right now." She explained so calmly. Right now my head was trying to put it all together and process it.

"I didn't even know. That's something new. It's funny he never really told me. Like he said something about hockey, but not that he was that good." I was impressed now.

"Yeah. Maybe he liked that you liked him for him." She answered, sweetly.

"Mom, I treat him so awful. You don't even know. But he likes to be around me." He was really different and persistent.

She grinned. "That's why he likes you then. He likes that you don't come easy. You're hard to get almost. Also you have a story that he has yet to find out. But I do think that you should try to get him to open up to you." My mom was usually right. I just had a difficult time believing that.

"Maybe you're right."

* * *

I brought out my guitar. Freshly tuned and fresh strings. It sounded beautiful. I missed it the last couple weeks. I took a seat on the edge of my old bed.

I decided to play some random chords and sing. "I'm sitting here all by myself just trying to think of something of to do. I'm trying to think of something, anything. But you know it's not working out, 'cause you're all that's on my mind. One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind. Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did. And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did. And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did. I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself that you're not the one for me. But the more I think, the less I believe it and the more I want you here with me. You know the holidays are coming up. I don't want to spend them alone. Memories of Christmas time with you will just kill me if I'm on my own." I re sang the chorus and continued my song. "I know it's not the smartest thing to do. We just can't seem to get it right. But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight. One more chance tonight. I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar. But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far. I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you. Oh please, baby won't you take my hand, we've got nothing left to prove." And the chorus, yet again. "And I didn't mean to meet you then. We were just kids. And I didn't mean to give you chills the way that I kiss. And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did. And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did. Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did. No, you didn't mean to love me back, but you did." My strums died, silently.

"--You're amazing." I heard a voice say out of nowhere. I jumped as he startled me. I lay my guitar down, instantly.

It was Carey, standing in my doorway. "You didn't hear that did you?" It was something lots of people heard, but him hearing the specific song was hard. It was written for Daniel. He inspired me to write it a while back. Singing about him made brought back all of the good memories.

"Start to finish." He stated. "It was gorgeous. Your voice is really amazing. I can see why you're going the musical path in life." He was so impressed, but I was so shy. I wasn't normally shy, but for some reason when he heard it it didn't seem right.

I was pink with nerves. "Uh, thank you."

He took a seat at my computer desk. "So who did you write about?" He was intrigued in the meaning. Which was the part I was trying to hide.

"No one." I always lied to him, but was it reasonable? I think so.

"No girl writes a song that deep and doesn't have a meaning. There has to be some boy behind it. At least some type of story or person that inspired it." He was right. No one would sing a song like that for no reason. I couldn't share it with him. It was too personal.

"I just don't feel comfortable sharing it. But why did you come to my house?" I asked a little skeptical. His shorts and golf shirt seemed suitable for the weather. I had jeans and a t-shirt on.

"I have come to the conclusion to try to get you to open up to me. I want us to be friends. I like you. You're so interesting. Plus, I don't want the majority of my summer to be wasted. Might as well spend it with a pretty girl like you." He grinned knowing what he said was pretty smooth. I just rolled my eyes and chuckled at the dork.

"Okay, deal. But you have to tell me who you really are. My mom says you're actually a good hockey player." I said trying to be witty.

"So you didn't believe me, huh?" His smile broke through.

"I'm not going to listen to some male that tells me he's famous, rich and talented. I'm not that dumb, Carey. So tell me about yourself. Let me hear you're life story." I lay back on my bed and got comfy for the story of his life.

"Okay, so here it is..." He started.

He told me his ancestry. His mom was the Chief of his First Nation as a kid. A B.C. kid that loved hockey. His father taught him on the pond as a kid. His dad was drafted by The Flyers and is a goaltending coach for the Tri-City Americans. His dad bought a plane to take him to practices and games. His father was so dedicated to him. It was nice to hear. He talked about his junior years and told me about him being drafted fifth overrall. His life sounded so spectacular. The high life. Hockey was a major part of his life. He devoted his time to it and it paid off in the end. His favorite color was red. I found out he loved to bowl and eat pastas. His dog was his mother's suggestion. He moved here in the summer and stayed here mostly. He would do some training and visit family, go to golf tournaments and stuff of the sort. Like I said our lives were both so different.

"Carey, your life is so intriguing. I mean it seems so fast paced and happy. I know I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover and what not, but that is just my opinion." I said, looking at him.

"I guess you could say that." He chuckled. "Now tell me about yours."

"Hm, alright. Well I am from Oyama. I'm a small-town girl. Played basketball and a little bit of hockey. What Canadian doesn't, right? I moved out of here at seventeen. My brother went to Chicago and became a successful entrepreneur. I went to L.A., and I decided to become an acoustic artist. I met my friend Daniel and he introduced me to breakdancing. I loved it and it became my thing. Him and his friends were way better than me though, but we lived a crazy life. I miss those times. I am a underground artist. I came back home though because my dad's sick right now." It was a little weird telling him about myself, all at once.

"A small-town breakdancing singer." He repeated and smiled. "I like it. But you're father. How is he?" He asked.

"Oh, he's in chemotherapy right now. He's a very strong guy though and we hope that he will make it through. Sometimes you just feel like it's impossible; some days you feel like it is possible. It hurts to see him so beaten down. I mean my dad is my life. He's the one that told me to go to California to follow my dreams." I told him and he nodded. Silence was sometimes the best therapy, but not in my dad's case.

"I'm so sorry to hear, but I'll keep him in my prayers for him. Always try to stay positive. Cherish him, you never know. I knew him a little bit, not that well though." He cared. It felt so good knowing that.

"Thanks, Carey." I spoke softly.

"Let's try not to dampen the mood. Why don't you let me take you out?" He got up and held his hand out for me. He helped me off of my bed.

"Where are you going to take me?" I asked with a small chuckle.

"You'll have to wait and see."

Notes

A/N: I was asked why are you writing a fan fiction about Carey Price if you're a Leafs' fan. Well for starters, Carey Price is First Nation and I respect that, since that is my full ancestry. Sometimes I don't always enjoy him (when they play the Leafs' or Pens), but yes I am slightly a fan of his.

Anyways watch out for any of my new stories when this one starts to end. I have 10 chapters written so far, and only 5 are published. I am in talks with a couple of people with co-writing a book together. But hey, if there is anyone who wants to work with me. Message me!