Come Wake Me Up
Out at least 3 weeks, basically the rest of the regular season, Patrick Kane walks through the door of his apartment slamming the door behind him the sharp sound ringing through the empty place before him. He was fine, he skated off on his own feet and walked down the hall with no help, all he wanted was the damn thing taped up so he could go back out and play but the trainer made a convincing argument, either miss a few weeks now or end up screwing the team in the playoffs. He ran a frustrated hand through sweaty hair and slammed his keys down on the counter, the sound again echoing through the emptiness of his apartment.
It had been a month since she’d left just walked out on him, in that time this apartment had never felt this empty, sure he was busy with games and practice so he wasn’t home much but he was going to be now, for at least 3 weeks. Reaching into a cabinet he retrieves a glass and yanks open the freezer throwing a few ice cubes in the bottom before twisting open a bottle of whiskey and pouring the liquid over the ice cubes. She’ll be gone in a few minutes he thinks as he raises the glass taking a long drink from it, she always is after 2 or 3 anyway.
She should have known better than to watch the game, seeing him hurt, sure she was the one that left but that didn’t mean she didn’t still love him. Two years, down the toilet, she celebrated with him when they won the cup and mourned with him in February when his grandfather died. Sure she’d had to cheer him up after particularly bad losses or just all around bad days but nothing compared to that day when he came home in tears after losing someone so close to him. It was hard to hold someone who was supposed to be so strong while he sobbed on the couch, the funeral was no better and then Sochi came shortly after and she stood beside him as he shut her out trying to mourn the only way he knew how; winning a hockey game. And when they lost to Canada in the semi final she held him again when he cried, they never recovered from that, her Patrick never came back and she left shortly after returning home.
She knew she was slowly losing him before that anyway, somewhere near Christmas he started shutting her out hiding away at the rink practicing things he’d perfected years ago, by the time his grandfather died he was so distant she was already planning on breaking up with him. All that followed were arguments about everything from what to watch on tv to what toothpaste to buy.
Now she sat on her bed crying, and why she wasn’t even sure, he had skated off the ice on his own, walked down the hall with no help, being taken out for a few weeks was probably just a precaution for the playoffs; yet her tears wouldn’t stop. She could almost hear his chuckle at her tears telling her it wasn’t serious and that he was fine, trying anything to stop her from crying, but that wasn’t gonna happen not this time. His voice rang through the silence of her bedroom again, this time it was the way he spoke to her when they first met, he was out with his teammates celebrating a win, she was out with her friends shaking off a bad week his smile came into view as he held his hand out after almost running her over to get to the bar
**“Sorry, Hi, um Patrick” she giggled, she couldn’t help it she was tipsy and he was Patrick Kane
“I know who you are” she says smiling and he nods his head smiling ,as the music starts up again making it impossible to talk he leans down just inches away from her ear, she could smell the mix of beer and mints on his breath and game sweat and cologne on his collar
“Really now? Cause I have no idea who you are” his chuckle radiates through her as she feels herself blush
“Jennifer” she yells over the music with a small smile
“Well Jennifer, can I buy you a drink?” she nods and relays her drink request to him when he leans down for her to say it into his ear**
She shook her head and reached for her phone, she just needed to hear his voice, “you left him” her mind reminds her and as she stares at the phone she lets the scenario run in her mind of what she would do if she called and moved on and another female answered. Sure she’d assumed that by now he’d moved on but how would she react being faced with that harsh reality? With a heavy sigh she sets the phone back down.
He stared down the glass in his hands the half melted ice cubes had turned the last bits of the dark whiskey a washed out tan color. Three drinks in he could still hear her voice, in his head it was concerned cause he’d left the game, he puts down his empty glass and looks at his phone again making sure she didn’t call, he was sure she would. Then again, it’d been a month he was stupid to think she didn’t move on yet.
He stares at the device in his hand, maybe if he heard her voice it would shut up the constant replay of her laugh in his mind, or maybe a man would answer the phone and shatter what little bit of ego he had left. He’d hoped when he came home to find her gone that she would have come back, realize that whatever was going on would pass and that she loved him and he loved her, but it never happened. Something in him secretly hoped she was watching the game that she would see he had gotten injured and realized she still loved him. A month, by now they should have both moved on, but there was no moving on from a girl who thinks the playoff mullet is sexy, time was not making it any easier that she was gone, his team mates were wrong.
He looks at the time on his phone the harsh white numbers telling him it’s almost midnight, she’ll be asleep he thinks, I can just call and hear her voicemail and move on. He unlocks the device and pushes the call button next to her name, after 2 rings a muffled rustling comes across the line followed by her small voice “Patrick?” the sound of her voice makes a shiver run down his spine, she’s been crying“Hi” he says in a breath of relief
“It’s late” she says quietly and he nods forgetting she can’t see him, a moment of silence passes “You ok?” she finally asks “I mean you left the game and I know you’re probably just going to say it was a playoff precaution but”
“Yeah Jen, I’m fine” he says with a chuckle that stabs at her heart, they both go silent again, an awkwardness filling the airwaves between them
“Why’d you ca…” she starts and he cuts her off
“I miss you”
“Pat, I… we can’t… I just… you have to…. God I miss you too” she says like a weights lifting off her shoulders
“I can’t, you know I can’t, what’s it going to prove?” the question hangs in the silence that follows he almost says it will prove she still loves him, that they can work this out, but he bites his tongue
“Nothing I guess” he settles with and she sighs they go quiet again. She stares across her room at her pile of clean clothes, jeans and a sweater sitting right on top, she hadn’t taken off her makeup yet and her hair wasn’t a mess, it was only a 10 minute drive from her place to his. She stopped herself, he’d already said her coming over would prove nothing so why was she even entertaining the thought his voice breaks her from her mind, its quieter, and rough around the edges like he just woke up “please” his one word the hurt sound in his voice breaks something inside her
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes” she says already off her bed and pulling on her jeans
“Doors unlocked” he says and she nods before hanging up and changing her shirt.
She grabs her keys and purse before walking out the door pulling it closed behind her too hard. She almost jogs down the six flights of stairs to the parking ramp below her building, by the time she reaches her car she’s panting slightly and wishing she would have taken the elevator. She gets in the driver seat and turns the key the engine roaring to life and she takes off before giving herself the chance to change her mind. 10 minutes later she’s parking in the ramp of his building and she feels a knot starting in her stomach.
She almost turns back around and goes home before she hears his voice in her head again, that soft broken plea propels her out of the car and into the building, she presses the elevator button and the seconds pass like hours before she reaches his floor. She fixes her hair outside of his door and reaches for the door knob when it flies open revealing Patrick still in dress pants and dress shirt, his tie hanging around his neck untied, he pulls her into a tight hug and she inhales deeply the same scent that he held when she met him, game sweat and cologne.He pulls slightly out of the hug and she smiles at him, his hand runs through her hair as he presses his lips to hers, she smiles into the kiss tasting like desperation and whiskey. She reaches behind her and closes his front door.
“This isn’t helping us Patrick” she says quietly sitting on the couch with him and he nods but stays quiet “What’s on your mind Kaner?”
He stays quiet for a moment, she shifts next to him and he pulls her closer “Whatever it was, I’m sorry” he says quietly her brown eyes search his blue ones before deciding he’s telling the truth “I don’t know what happened it just seems like all my buddies are getting married or having kids” he trails off and she studies him for a second
“So? You know I was happy where we were”
“Exactly” he says running a hand through his hair
“Oh” she says quietly chewing on her bottom lip they fall silent again, this time the awkward tension is somehow gone “I would have said yes” she says in a whisper that she’s sure he didn’t hear until she sees the small smile playing across his lips
She wakes up when the sun comes blaring through the window in her face, the jogging pants and t-shirt he let her borrow are wrapped tightly around her small body from moving in her sleep. His arm is draped lazily across her torso and their feet are tangled together, she smiles as she feels his even breathing on her neck, its familiar and comfortable and so wrong she thinks all of a sudden sitting up quickly
“No” he grumbles pulling her back down “I sleep better with you here” he whispers his voice still thick with sleep
“I have to go Pat” she says sadness laced in her voice
“No, stay” he says quietly kissing her neck “Just, stay”
“I can’t. This isn’t doing anything good” she says a little firmer and he finally opens his eyes to meet hers
“Yes it is” he says seriously and she sighs trying to hold in some kind of emotion he can’t read “Jen seriously, just stay” he says pushing the hair out of her eyes and kisses her softly “Please, I love you”
His words almost knock the wind right of her and she studies his face for a moment somewhere in her she knows she should be arguing but not right now, not with that sleepy smile playing across his features and his soft kisses that ooze familiar comfort and love and everything she’s been missing for the last month. Not when the words she’s needed to hear have just fallen from his mouth like a band-aid for all the bad that’s happened. Not when her heart is betraying her mind “I love you too” she says quietly as his eyes flutter back shut, his smile grows as she runs a hand through his hair
He wakes with a jump, still on the couch empty glass in his hand clothes from last night still on “Damn it” he mumbles running a hand through his hair. He stands and paces for a second before the dull ache of pain makes him sit down again. He stares at his phone on the table for a minute before grabbing the device and hitting send three rings later he hears a muffled hello “Jen, It’s Patrick”………
Song- Come Wake Me Up, Rascal Flatts