AAOOOSC!: The Mission - Comments, page 4

Yea, I didn't really get into that wesite...I tried to, but I just ended up going to Wattpad, which is a whole lot cooler! ;) But I only use Wattpad mainly for non-hockey related stories or stories with made up characters :) Yup, I agree to that! XD
Thanks! I did add in a few things to expand on why no one was freaking out about Kane towards the end of the chapter, so you can check that out to see if it's good! But yea, I noticed that Kane was being held hostage in every AAOOOSC! story when I was writing AAOOOSC! Playoffs XD So funny how he gets held hostage in my stories and in your stories as well! XDD

I loved writing and I was annoyed with fan fiction.net and I loved hockey, plus I wanted to get feedback on my writing and one thing led to another and I came across this site. :) I love it a lot!! And Wattpad too! I gave up with Mibba though...didn't like it. I also found it from searching for Jonathan fan fictions (honestly to find some thrillers), but this site didn't have anything I liked, so I wanted to add flavor to it and add some thrillers, horrors, suspenseful stuff. Cause of all the romance crap. :)
OH!!! THAT'S TRUE!!!! Okay...in that case, nevermind. Yeah, just explain that a little more, you got this!! ;) Excellent idea! :D

@EvelynaKitty
Oh, wow! I thought you were here longer! How did you find it though? Just curious! I found it when I was searching for Tuukka fanfics, and one of them led me to this site :)
Errr...well, I don't want to go off topic with trying to save Kaner...because saving Kane is going to be part of their plan and I don't want them going nuts just because Kane is still in hostage, or else that'll totally side-swipe the whole story and change its course. They're use to Kane being gone since he has always been in hostage in practically every AAOOOSC! story, so this is something that is normal for them. That's why they aren't freaking out so much. They know Kane--he'll do fine. I should put that in that they don't worry so much about Kane since it has happened so many times. Yea, I'll do that instead for it to make sense of why they aren't panciking over the Blackhawk

I came to the site...let's see here...some time in May or June I think. I think it was the end of May, yeah. :)
Like just add in adjectives or so around the chapter to make it more emotional. You can use words like "panic" or "chaos" or so. Just words alone like that should help to make it read better I think. It's mostly when they are all together. Sid is more sad and Antti seems almost like he doesn't care. And if they are thinking more about saving Jonathan and the NHL...hmmm...maybe, can you balance both out? Like have them concerned for Kaner, but also the NHL at the same time. That might help too! ;)

@EvelynaKitty
Yay! :D Yes, same here! :))) Thanks! When did you come here on the site?
Oh...yea...that's kinda what I was thinking of too... So like, where should I put that in? Because Sid and Nemo are the only ones who bring Kaner up; the GHP are thinking more about Tazer and saving the NHL than Patrick because that's like their number one priority: to save the NHL and while doing that, they'll save Kaner.

I totally agree with you on this site being awesome. And I am glad I came and discovered this site and met you, in a digital way. Happy anniversary for you!! :P
Anyway, okay, I have one problem, I'm not sure, but I know Kaner's a good friend, but the emotion of his disappearance was lacking and I feel like there's MORE panic that should happen in this scene. If you can maybe add in some descriptive words or adjectives maybe to help aid in the emotion and the panic involved here. It just reads kind of flat to me. I hope this is okay, let me know if you need more or maybe some help? As always, I'm here to help out! :D

@EvelynaKitty
Yup! :)

No, no, no....they...they can't...not Kazer...not my precious Kazer....oh gosh....
It's okay...as long as I know there's Kazer to look forward to in the end!!!! XD

@EvelynaKitty
MOO-HA-HA, all good things must come to an end X))) But yea, that happens to me too when good dreams end and then I'm bummed out that it didn't happen :P
But I'm glad you liked the Kazer-ness in this chapter :) More to come in the end, though ;)
And sorry what I did to poor Tazer in this chapter 8(

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHY DID THE DREAM HAVE TO END!!!!???? KAZER!!!! <3
OMG, I didn't want that dream to end, I was "Awing" so much. XP
Heehee *blushing from the Kazer*

Yea, that's what I want to happen...and I want Pats to win ;)
Don't worry, they'll be back soon! They're just, y'know, planning on how to defeat the EHP. There's just so many characters to keep track of! But they'll be back in chapter...21 :)

Eeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Seahawks vs Pats in the SuperBowl, that's like a Stanley Cup of Boston vs Chicago!! Woooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Do it!! :PPPP
Uh, where's Patrick? And Kinny and Sid?? And Nemo???? What's going on with them? When are they coming back? :P

@EvelynaKitty
In the next AAOOOSC! story, I might use it in the next one ;))))
I know, and don't forget about all the Jonathan's! XDD
Oh yes! :D It'll all turn good in the end :)

Haha DO IT!!!! Have Tavy use it on Sid! :PPPP
What's with all the Patrick's, Nikita's and Smith's in the NHL...lol
Heehee. Well, if you have Tavy, Kaner, Kinny and Jonny teaming up together. I think all of them combined could do something and beat Kari. :)

@EvelynaKitty
Yes, he is going to use it soon in this story...and of course in up coming AAOOOSC! stories as well :))) Hahahaa, that'd be funny...might use that ;)
Yes, he is an actually person--HE'S THE FOUNDER OF THE NHL!!!!!! He worked with the Canadians and the Blackhawks and saved the Senators-- He did A LOT for the NHL!

That's him! :) Thomas Patrick Gorman!
Yea... I talked to my bro about that as well and he also agreed with me... Sorry there, John :P
Yea, you better be sorry! X( No, no, jk! XD

Ooooooohhh is Tavy gonna use his atmokinesis? Haha, he should use it on Sid and then be like "oops" (with sarcasm). :PPPP
Is Gorman an actual person, by the way? I've always wondered that. Is he based on Bettman or someone or is he real?
*gasps* Oh no, poor Tavy. No. Evil always wins... :(
Haha. Sorry. "Oops" ;)

@EvelynaKitty
Yea, like what I said, powers that you can actually physically see are much cooler! ;) You'll see, you'll see ;)) I know, poor Gorman! I really gave him a whoopin'! :PPP I mena, he IS over 100 years old, so yea...
Okay, so I thought about it and thought about the possibilities and I think if John went head to head with Kari, Kari would win. I think he'd be able to withstand lightning since he's like light and can also get out of the terrible weather (tornadoes and rain) due to his teleportation and enhanced reflexes, and with omnidirectional light waves, John would be out. :P Poor John.
HEEEYY!! Oh my goodness, you're commmenting on a PG story over here! No exploding people allowed in PG stories!!! XPPP XD

Yup! ;)
Haha I know, but oh well. Is what it is. Being Black Hawk can be cool, but yeah, I'd much rather have the atmokinesis. :P
Okay, that would be Jonny, obviously. Jonny's gotta be MOST powerful. I'd say Gorman, but dude's gotten his ass (sorry) handed to him many times over. But in a head-to-head, who would win? If Tavy were to fight Kari and vice-a-versa? You know. I'm just curious. Maybe if they are the same, they'd both obliterate each other. Boom! Big explosion, parts of Kari and Tavy everywhere. :P Kidding.

@EvelynaKitty
So Black Hawk is immortal then???
That'd be interesting if two people with the same powers work together... But what makes them different is that they have different ways to use their abilities and they have different limitations ;)
So Evelyna changed her powers from awesome atmokinesis to hawk stuff? This is so mean, but what a downgrade! XD :PPP
Errrr... John more powerful than Kari... I think so, but Kari has his ways that John can't even figure out, so Kari's powerful that way. But with power wise, I think that John is more powerful, but Kari can totally destroy John with his enhanced reflexes and teleportation, but John can destroy Kari as well with manipulating the weather over the fight area and using weather elements to fight.... Ack, I don't know. But John more powerful than anyone? You'll see who's the most powerful in this story later on ;)

Yeah, John may win with powers, but he can't destroy Black Hawk, so she would keep coming back to life....but....maybe....Evelyn Nado and Tavy can work together. They have similar powers. But Evelyn would have to like Jonny....but hey, maybe she was Evelyn Nado, who then changed to Evelyn O'Reilly and became Black Hawk? :P
Out of curiosity, is Tavy more powerful than Kari and everyone??